


My Sacrifice

by chibiihealz



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, F/F, Football | Soccer, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-09 05:54:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 56,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1971402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibiihealz/pseuds/chibiihealz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place following their win at the 2014 World Cup! For the boys, it should be the greatest moment of their lives but when things go south for them in their personal lives it brings the friends even closer together. The boys have always known there was something different about their friendship but what happens when things begin to change? When playing around becomes serious? Do they run from their obvious feelings or do they hide? Will they ever find their way together the way they are meant to be? (Summary sucks. just read :p)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Title:** My Sacrifice

 **Author:[](http://chibiihealz.livejournal.com/profile)[ **chibiihealz**](http://chibiihealz.livejournal.com/) **  
 **Rating:**  PG-13 (for now, may change)  
 **Warnings:**  Fluff, Language  
 **Pairing:** Schweinski (Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski)  
 **Language:** English  
 **Disclaimer:**  I don't own them, they're not mine.Nothing has ever happened.  
 **Summary:**  Takes place following their win at the 2014 World Cup! For the boys, it should be the greatest moment of their lives but when things go south for them in their personal lives it brings the friends even closer together. The boys have always known there was something different about their friendship but what happens when things begin to change? When playing around becomes serious? Do they run from their obvious feelings or do they hide? Will they ever find their way together the way they are meant to be? (Summary sucks. just read :p)   
Authors Notes:  Any graphic related content for this story can be found on my tumblr page - chibiihealz

 

**My Sacrifice  
A Schweinski Story**

**Prologue**

_When you are with me, I'm free_  
I'm careless, I believe  
Above all the others we'll fly  
This brings tears to my eyes  
My sacrifice

-        _“My Sacrifice” by Creed_

 

That sound of the end whistles was one he knew all to well. He’s tried it hundreds of times in his lifetime, but this one… this was different. He could not hold back the surge of emotion that swept over him. Tears sprang to his eyes and he fell apart. These weren’t tears of sadness or anguish… no… these were tears of absolute joy. In his career he had done it all – he had even earned the title of _the chosen one, but_ never before had he achieved the ultimate dream of his career – until now. Bastian Schweinsteiger felt his team mate, Thomas Müller arms wrap around him and he couldn’t believe it. Deutscher Fussball-Bund had just gained their fourth World Cup title – Bastian’s first. The ultimate dream of any footballer.

Everything was a complete and total blur. Around him, his teammates celebrated. He had everyone celebrating around him while his eyes, misted with tears, were in search of one specific individual. Their eyes met and he choked out a sob. The next thing Bastian knew, his best friend, Lukas Podolski leaped into his arms with a smile that said it all. Lukas wrapped his legs around Bastian’s waist and the two held onto each other like it was everything because it was. They met ten years ago playing for the U-21 team and became attached to each other. They shared this dream together. Endless discussions about how they would one day win that glorious championship _together._ No words need to be spoken between them. He caught from the corner of his eye as the WAGs and the children made their way to the field and knew it was a matter of time before Sarah and Louis found them. With another tight embrace and screams of joy to one another, they parted and continued on congratulating their team mates. Bastian continued his path close to the group and grabbed his coach with an embrace, a new spate of tears finding his eyes.

From his peripheral vision, he caught Lukas holding Louis and celebrating – a smile spreading across his face. This was why it meant so much to not only himself, but for his best friend. The future of the sport was sitting in Lukas’ arms. Louis was already incredibly talented, which isn’t surprising at all considering the world he grew up in. Bastian was so lost in thought that he barely noticed the slender blonde that threw herself around him. With habit, his arms wrapped around her and he shared his emotions with her. Sarah had been there for him through all the highs and lows of his career both in the club as well as internationally. She was easily his biggest fan after Lukas. With her in his arms, whispering congratulations and love he couldn’t quite grasp the feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had experienced this feeling before – a lot. Sarah never quite felt as right in his arms as Lukas did. Truth be told, he often wondered if that is why he had never been able to make the ultimate commitment to Sarah. He loved Sarah – there was never any denying that, nevertheless, whenever he was around Lukas he felt something totally unlike. He felt whole. Bastian had to push this thought out of his head. This was his dream he was living. He could wallow in his ideas afterwards.

               It didn’t take long for Lukas to find his way back to Bastian. He grabbed his best ally and they shared another hug. Though, something was different with the look in Lukas’ eyes. He looked almost mischievous.

               “Basti…” Lukas almost purred, “desire to thank our fans out there?”

               Bastian looked at Lukas with a raised eyebrow, the look in Lukas’ eyes giving him out. The midfielder chuckled and puckered up and the two of them saw the attention of every camera around them. Inches away from their lips touching, they both made a loud _mwuah_ sound and shook their heads. They both recognized that their lovers who had wonderfully dubbed them Schweinski would love this show. Bastian wrapped his arms around Lukas’ shoulders and Lukas’ arms found Bastian’s waist and they led away from everyone, excitement taking them over.

               “I cannot believe this,” Lukas mused staring into the crowd, “we did it.”

               Bastian tightened his grip around his best friend lost in thought, “Yes, we did.”

               Lukas had his phone in his hand and he stared at Bastian, “Come on, take a photo with me.”

               Bastian smiled brightly and instead of smiling beside his best friend, he decided to have some fun and half kissed Lukas’ cheek while smiling into the camera. The picture was snapped and Bastian watched as it was quickly uploaded to Facebook.

               “Nice duck lips, Basti,” Lukas laughed lightly, his eyes glowing as the two of them made their way towards the line up that would eventually lead them to the World Cup trophy.

               “You love them,” Bastian said with a wink as he found his way to the front of the line.

 

               The rest of the night went by in a blur. Bastian quickly found himself drunk in the midst of the parties. Irrespective of how drunk he started out, he knew every aspect of this night would be etched in his head forever. The first bit of the evening, the friends spent separately. Lukas with various team mates, Bastian with Sarah. It wasn’t long, though, before Sarah mingled off with other WAGs, as she always did, leaving Bastian to celebrate on his own. Lukas and Bastian spent the remainder of the party glued to one another. Unspoken words were clear between them. This was the last real chance they would have to spend with one another before they were forced apart by their clubs. Bastian would return to Germany and Bayern Munich while Lukas would return to London and Arsenal. It was unknown how long it would be before the two saw each other again. They hated the fact that they no longer played together at the club level – which is partly what made tonight that much more special. Bastian suddenly became hyper aware that through all the events tonight he had not seen one person – Monica. It was curious that she wasn’t around, especially when Louis had been. Bastian made a mental note to investigate about this afterwards. Not tonight though, not tonight. No, tonight was theirs.

               Following the round of interviews, photo ops – including a picture with Rihanna, the boys stumbled into their hotel room sometime around four in the morning. They were far from tired, though. They would sleep on their planes back home. Their captain, Phillip Lahm had made them roommates once again – knowing the friends would want to spend this adventure together.

               Lukas was the first into the room, throwing himself down onto the bed, plugging in his phone so it could charge. He was curious about the happenings on social media, but he knew it could wait. Bastian, on the other hand, had found the balcony, and another beer. Lukas shook his head and rolled his eyes. He was going to miss it. He made a mental note to plan a trip to Germany the first chance their schedules allowed – which in reality – was probably not going to be for a while. Bastian’s first game would take place on the 18th of July while Lukas’ was on the 19th. Both were expected back to training now.

               Lukas sighed as he rolled off the bed and made his way to the balcony, wrapping his arm around his best friend's shoulder as he continued to cheer. This hotel was full of footballers, it was unlikely he would receive a complaint from the behaviour, despite it being so early. Lukas suspected that many of their mates were either not in their rooms as of yet or were otherwise occupied. What surprised Lukas, though was how Bastian suddenly became still and silent. Almost tense.

               “What’s up?” Lukas asked cautiously, worried about his friend, “feeling sick?”

               Bastian shook his head before staring down at the empty balcony below them, “No, I am just… it’s bittersweet. This World Cup here has been…”

               Lukas nodded in understanding, “Wonderful? Amazing? Incredible?”

               They partook in a laugh and Bastian nodded, “I knew it would be an incredible experience, but winning aside, everything about it was just astonishing. I only wish I could have seen you on the pitch more.”

               Lukas shrugged, “I hear you there, but it is what it is. We did what we set out to do, that’s all that matters when all is said and done.”

               Bastian rolled his eyes at Lukas, making no effort to disguise his dramatics. Lukas has been always the most upbeat and positive one of the pair. He could take any situation, no matter how grim and find something good about it. It was a trait that Bastian found both admirable and at times, irritating.

               “Whatever you say, Prinz Poldi,” Bastian stuck his tongue out at Lukas and turned towards him

               Lukas playfully punched him in the shoulder, “Shut up, Basti. You should treat royalty better you know. I should give you a matching scar for comments like that.”

               Bastian smirked and lifted an eyebrow. “Oh is that so? Well, perhaps I should do… this!”

               Lukas’ eyes widened as he realized exactly what his best friend had in mind, unfortunately it was too late for him. Bastian’s fingers dug into Lukas’ sides and began a furry of tickling. Lukas wasn’t taking it without a battle though. Within seconds the two of them were stumbling into the hotel room once again, wrestling for dominance. It was no real shock when Bastian got the upper hand and pushed Lukas onto the bed and sat on his chest, pinning his arms. Bastian looked down at Lukas with a smirk.

               “Losing your touch there, old man?”

               This was enough for Lukas to begin fighting once more. Bastian was becoming cockier by the minute and Lukas wanted nothing more than to shut him up. Unfortunately, Bastian had a good lock on him leaving Lukas with one option. With a mischievous gleam in his eyes, one that went unnoticed by Bastian, Lukas lifted his head far enough to lick a slobbery line across Bastian’s face.

               “Yuck!” Bastain exclaimed lifting his hand from Lukas’ arm without thinking, giving the forward an opportunity to capitalize the situation.

               Lukas quickly bucked his hips with enough force to throw the midfielder off him and onto the bed beside him. Within minutes, the position was reversed and this time, Lukas was sitting on Bastian’s chest.

               “Who’s the old man now?”

               Bastian glared at the younger man. Lukas may have won that round, but the war was far from over.

* * *

 


	2. Chapter One: Keep Holding On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celebrations are dying down from their World Cup victory and Lukas is forced to deal with the end of a chapter in his life. Will he go it alone or will he finally open up to his best friend? Just why is Monika leaving? What will happen with Louis?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Chapter One: Keep Holding On  
> Author: chibiihealz   
> Rating: PG-13 (for now, may change/language)  
> Warnings: Fluff, language  
> Pairing: Schweinski (Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski)  
> Language: English  
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, they're not mine.Nothing has ever happened.  
> Authors Notes: Before I get angry Monika fans... I know about the rumors that had been going around awhile back regarding Monika and Lukas so I decided to go with it. I personally adore Monika and there is a big place for her in the story as it goes on. I am not going to just trash her in this, or anyone else for that fact. So don't worry :) Frankly, it was either go this route or kill her... but this whole story-line I have planned works out SO much better,

**Part One: Try**  
  
Chapter One  
Keep Holding On

 

* * *

 

The Parade. How could he have forgotten the parade? Bastian cursed to himself for forgetting something like that. Apparently Lukas had forgotten about it as well. Blame the adrenaline and alcohol. This was something they would laugh about once they saw one another again. 

To say Bastian was excited for the event would be an understatement. This was a chance for him to celebrate in Berlin with the guys who had become his brothers over the years. A chance to celebrate with Lukas. He knew Lukas needed this distraction - badly. With his life in turmoil and all. He couldn't for the life of him figure out why Lukas didn't tell him about it himself. Possibly he would when he was ready?

Bastian got up from his chair in the plane, Lukas was passed out beside him, figuring this was as good of a time as any to try and sort things out. Bastian took a deep breath and made his way over to the back of the plane where Sarah had been sitting along with one of the other girlfriends, who was also asleep. He had to ask what he had been wondering for a while now. If anyone knew it would be her. She was practically the Queen of the German WAGs. 

 

"Sarah," Bastian asked quietly up to his long time love and knelt down beside her chair in attempts to keep some degree of secrecy. Sarah had been reading when she looked at him with curious eyes, "why wasn't Monika at the finals?"

 

Sarah gazed at him for a minute before she eventually took a deep breathe and looked around her, confirming there was no danger of anyone hearing her. She recognized this moment was coming and frankly - it wasn't one she wasn't looking forward to. 

 

"They broke up," she replied as she removed her glasses and closed her book, placing them on her lap. "A while back. It was all over the tabloids."

 

Bastian looked stunned. "Split up?! When? Why? Why wouldn't he tell me that?"

 

Sarah smiled sadly, "embarrassment I would gather. I figured he would have told you."

              

"He didn't." His voice was saddened. 

 

"Maybe you should talk to him about this," Sarah said quietly, kissing Bastian on the cheek before standing up and disappearing into the washroom. 

 

* * *

  


_You're not alone_

_Together we stand_

_I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand_

_When it gets cold_

_And it feels like the end_

_There's no place to go_

_You know I won't give in_

_No I won't give in_  
\- “Keep Holding On” – Avril Lavigne  


The parade had been something the boys would never forget. It was unreal. A celebration that he wouldn't have ever been able to dream into being. Him and Lukas had been glued together the whole time, well, for most of it at least. When it all died down, Lukas and Bastian found themselves at their favorite haunt from when Lukas played in Munich, enjoying some quiet. Both boys nursed a beer in silence, just enjoying the presence of friendship. 

 

It was Lukas, who spoke first. 

 

"We separated," Lukas' voice cracked, "Monkia and I, back in March."

 

Bastian nodded expectedly, "Sarah told me this morning. I figured something happened when she wasn't at the game. I should have seen it sooner."

 

Lukas took a swig of his beer and shook his head. "No, I should have told you. I just... I thought maybe if I didn't tell you or anyone else it wouldn't be real or it would get better or... Something... You know? But it didn't and when she wasn't there yesterday I knew it was over."

 

Bastian nodded, giving his friend a sad expression. Divorces weren't uncommon these days. 

 

"What happened?"

 

Lukas sighed heavily and shook his head. "I am not completely certain. She put Louis to bed one night and comes into our room and tells me she loves me, but isn't 'in love' with me anymore. That she hasn't in a long time and thinks it's better we go our separate ways."

 

"Bad luck," Bastian frowned as he squeezed the younger man's hand. "What happens now? Is she sticking around in London?"

 

Lukas nodded, "yeah. She said that wherever I go, she will go with me. In the same city at least for now. For Louis. Until she finds somewhere to establish herself. Apparently one of the other WAGs is moving in with her."

 

Bastian shot Lukas a look that mirrored his own confused stare. "That doesn't make any sense. No one else has split up. Have they?"

 

Lukas shook his head. "Not that I know of. I don't know. Everyone seemed strong and together today, so I have no idea. Possibly one of the younger ones have decided to get some classes or pursue modelling."

 

"Perhaps," Bastian replied as his mind ran ramped. Did this mean another footballer would be left or was this a case of self expansion like Lukas believed?

 

"I don't know what to do, Basti," Lukas sighed heavily, straining hard to conceal his tears. "Louis... I never wanted to be away from him. The family... You know I've always wanted that."

 

Bastian chugged his beer and shook his head. "Stop there. You will always be around Louis and you will always have a family. You have Sarah and I. You have Louis. You have the team. Also, you are one of a kind. If Monika can't appreciate that then, pardon my language, fuck her. You don't deserve anything but the best."

 

Lukas smiled at his best friend. He could always count on Bastian for anything. If anyone could ever make him laugh or smile, even when he felt at the bottom of the barrel it was Bastian. 

 

"Thanks man," Lukas said with a small grin, appreciation, dancing in his blue eyes. "I suppose it will all work out, however it's meant to."

 

Bastian laughed. "There's the positive Prinz I know! When do you head back to London?"

 

Lukas frowned, looking down once more. "Tomorrow, I begin training up again soon."

 

Bastian nodded, "yeah right. As if winning a World Cup wasn't training enough. Always wanting more these coaches."

 

Lukas laughed, "obviously. Can't ever please them."

 

"Guess not. How about we head back to the hotel and hook up the playstation? Get our minds off women and football..."

 

Lukas have him a look, "by playing football?"

 

Bastian smirked. "Exactly! Let's get outta here."

 

* * *

 

The men spent the evening doing just that. Playing football on Lukas' playstation that he rarely traveled without. It had always been a good way to the forward to clear his head for a while. After half a dozen games, Bastian had won four. At the conclusion of the final game, Lukas threw his controller down in defeat.  

 

"Impossible," he muttered, "I can't get my head into this. Or you're cheating. You're cheating aren't you?"

 

"Me? Cheat? Come on!" He exclaimed with a laugh. "Not on your life. You're simply horrible."

 

"I am not," Lukas groaned throwing himself backward on the bed as he flung his legs onto Bastian’s lap. "Just so out of it."

 

Bastian shook his head and turned the television onto cable. He flipped through the channels until he caught a photo of Monika on one of the gossip shows. Bastian immediately got Lukas' attention and turned up the volume. 

 

"Has Prinz Poldi lost his Princess? Reports are stating that his wife, Monika was shown moving out..." The show host disappeared and was replaced by a video of what appeared to be Monika moving out of their house back in London. This caught Lukas' attention. He sat up and stared at the TV in a state of stupor. "... of their household in London. Sources suggest that perhaps the behavior between Podolski and long time best friend Bastian Schweinsteiger during their World Cup celebrations both on the pitch and during the parade have proven to be enough for Monika..."

 

"Shut it off..." Lukas whispered softly, his voice cold

 

"Lu..." Bastian stated softly as he took the remote

 

Lukas jumped off of the bed and grabbed the remote and threw it. 

 

"I said turn it off!"

 

The room was eerily silent with the faint sound of the television continuing its story. Lukas stood in the middle of the room, breathing heavily, shaking with an array of emotions from anger to sorrow. Bastian sat on the bed, staring at his friend in disbelief. In the decade he has known the younger boy, he had never seen him show such a display of anger before. It wasn't long, nevertheless, before Bastian jumped to his feet and tried to wrap his arms close to his best friend. Lukas pulled away and glowered at Bastian with tears in his eyes. 

 

"Don't touch me! This is what everyone thinks caused it! The entire world thinks Monika left me because I'm... Gay!" There was a touch of maliciousness in his voice that caused Bastian to flinch. "God. I tried calming everything down during this World Cup, but fuck I had to just delve into our old habits again and now look..."

 

"Poldi..." Bastian’s voice was calm and level. Lukas may have been the ray of sunshine and positivity in the mix, but Bastian had been always the level headed one. The master of keeping his emotions in check. "The tabloids can think whatever they want. Reports of your break up have been circling for months. They just found a scapegoat for it. These break up stories are always juicer when it's a cheating or gay scandal..."

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have breaking news in from the Lukas Podolski break up story..." Both men turned and appeared at the TV with annoyance. Monika's picture on show beside the host. "Our network received a phone call from Monika Puldoski herself. Here's what she had to say..."

 

Her photograph filled the screen as her voice echoed over the speakers. Her voice was spotty as though she was on a speaker phone while driving through her car. Which is most likely the case. 

 

"I desired to say personally that the causes for my demise of my marriage are not ascribable to the imagined relationship between Lukas and Bastian. There was no affair on his end     Lukas has always been a model husband and father to our son Louis. The reality of it is that in his absence, I found love with one of the girlfriends of  one of the other footballers. We have decided to stop living a lie and just be together as we both deserve. Lukas and I will remain co-parents of our son Louis and I will stay on in London for as long as Lukas plays for Arsenal."

 

Lukas stared at the TV in complete and utter shock. He didn't know how to feel about that. Anger, sorrow, anguish and disbelief coursed through him like mad. Monika had an affair on him - with another footballers wife or girlfriend nonetheless. Who still remained a mystery. Lukas, however, was angry with the fact that he is finding out about her moving out and ending things on an official level because of the television and not his wife herself. How could she have done this to him? He almost wished the stories about him and Bastian would resurface. That was far less embarrassing than your wife leaving you for some other woman. What made it worse was that someone he knew would be going through the exact same thing. Without another word, Lukas turned around and headed for the door, slamming it behind him. He needed to go for a walk and clear his head or else he knew he was going to say or do something he may later regret. 

 

Lukas wasn't even outside for more than two minutes when his phone began to ring. He knew without looking at it that it was Monika. He just ignored it. He knew he wasn't ready to deal with her. How could he be? She had just humiliated him on national television. Ten minutes after, he was still getting call after call from her. He'd had enough. 

 

"What do you want?" His voice spits venom

 

"I didn't mean for it to happen like this..." She whispered softly, the unmistakable sound of tears in her voice. "I was going to tell you everything when you got back. When I found out that they were running the story I knew I had to step in. I knew they were going to try and blame the two of you. I couldn't have that happen..."

              

"You left me without so much a word...."

 

"I know and I am sorry. I wasn't going to be finished moving out until tomorrow and you would have been home and I could have sat down and told you properly..."

 

"Louis? Where is my son?" 

 

Monika sighed. "With Heidi. I don't want him pulled out of his home with all this tabloid fotter going on. He will have you and Heidi soon. When you leave for away games, I will have Heidi bring him to me. We can split it that way until everything is official."

 

So she didn't take her son. Good. 

 

"Who is it, Monika?" Lukas was leaning against the wall, tears threatening to burst open the dam. 

 

Monika hesitated for a minute before she finally sighed. 

 

"I can't tell you that." 

 

Lukas was absolutely furious. "What do you mean you can't?! I have a right to know..."

 

"Lukas, I understand..."

 

Lukas growled. "You understand nothing! I gave you everything..."

 

There was a sigh followed by a muttered, "I know. Sometimes... Sometimes you just know when something is real and powerful even when it's so wrong."

 

"Do I know them?" Lukas ignored previous comments. 

 

"Yes."

 

"It's not Sa..." Lukas began with a smirk. He knew there would be no way in the world that his wife would leave him for Sarah. Okay... Maybe she would but Sarah would never manage anything close to that to Bastian. 

 

"I got to go," Monika said quickly, cutting her now ex-husband off. "I'll come get Louis in a few days once you're on the road. We'll talk later."

 

Lukas growled again, this time throwing his iPhone, effectively shattering it. He found a lot of steps going to a local school and dropped himself down on them, drawing his knees to his breast and put his head down on his knees. He stayed there for some time. Absolutely still. Afraid to move or do anything. It was only once a set of strong arms wrapped around him that he allowed the flood gates to open. No words need be spoken. Just the unmistakable sound of a broken man unleashing the pain. 

 

After what seemed like forever, Lukas became silent. His body was still trembling, but there were no more sounds. No more sobs. Curse that woman for making him feel like this right now. This was intended to be the greatest time in his life other than the birth of his son and she had to break it. Figures. 

 

"Feeling a little better?" It was Bastian, who broke the silence 

 

Lukas nodded without looking up, "I will be. I'm not really a quitter. If she wants to leave me for another woman then fine. Let her go. But I can't allow this to destroy me even if it feels like it will. That has got to fade eventually, right?"

 

Bastian sighed, remember his own break-up with long time girlfriend Daniela. He had been destroyed after that ordeal. Lukas pulled him through that - barely. 

 

"You remember Daniela," Bastian stated, "I mean I took that break up like a death and I am doing remarkably well if I do say so myself."

 

Lukas rolled his eyes and stared at the blonde midfielder, stifling a grin. "If you say so. You handled yourself well. Spent what? Two weeks straight drunk?"

 

"Hey!! I was a heartbroken man! I'm allowed to wallow for weeks." Bastian exclaimed pushing Lukas lightly. "That's what we need to do. Get you so drunk you forget your name."

 

"No. I just need sleep," Lukas sighed. "You better keep in better touch with me. I am going to need you."

 

Bastian smiled as he helped his best friend stand up and squeezed him. 

 

"I promise to call every hour, on the hour. You won't even sleep because I'll call so much."

 

"Oh, wonderful," Lukas muttered as the two men began their walk back to the hotel. "Do me a favor would you? Remind me that when I file for divorce to also file for a restraining order for you."

 

Bastian laughed and tightened his grip on Lukas' shoulders. "But you can't do that! Think of the sea of broken hearts.."

 

Lukas smirked mischievously. "Heart? You have a heart?"

 

Bastian gave him a look of mock hurt, then pretended to grip onto his friend like his life depended on it causing Lukas to almost drop him. "No.. Reason... To... Go... On..."

 

Lukas hit Bastians cheek laughing. "Oh shut up you lug."

 

Bastian straightened himself out, but then grabbed Lukas in a headlock. "That's Mr. Lug to you, Prinz Poldi!"

 

Right there in the middle of the street of Berlin the two of them wrestled. There were a few fans who quickly snapped up videos and photos of the two friends, but the men didn't seem to care. A few minutes and a few noogies later, the boys set out to walk slightly more civilized, their arms round each other once more. Lukas was laughing so hard that he was practically leaning on Bastian. He needed this more than he realized. Despite his life falling apart, he felt safe. 

              

"Thanks... for being there." 

 

Bastian grinned at his friend and kissed the side of Lukas' head as his own silent you're welcome. No other words were needed between the two friends as they walked back to their hotel room. 

 

* * *

 


	3. Chapter Two: Where There is a Flame Someone's Bound to Get Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thing with affairs... it usually causes a domino affect. What happens when the next one to fall is Bastian himself? Will Lukas be there to catch him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Chapter Two - Where There is a Flame Someone's Bound to Get Hurt  
> Author: chibiihealz   
> Rating: PG-13 (for now, may change/language)  
> Warnings: Fluff, language  
> Pairing: Schweinski (Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski) **new pairings coming soon!**  
> Language: English  
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, they're not mine.None of this is real, even though I kinda wish it was!  
> Authors Notes:I totally expect angry fans and that's okay. Remember everything has its purpose. It will all make sense. Thank you for the love, the notes and reviews! I appreciate it! I will try to get updates out regularly (every day/every other day) however, this is the real world... wont always happen but I will get 'em as fast as I can...

**Chapter two**   
**Where There Is A Flame…Someone’s Bound to Get Hurt**

* * *

  
_Where there is desire_   
_There is gonna be a flame_   
_Where there is a flame_   
_Someone's bound to get burned_   
_\- “Try” by Pink_

**Munich.**   
**Two Days Later.**

Home. The place almost seemed like it was anything but with how little he had been there as of late. Bastian walked into the door and threw his baggage to the side, not wanting to be bothered by them at all at the moment. He was finally going to get something he needed desperately - alone time with Sarah. The young couple had attempted to do so as much as possible in the last month or so but it was mostly impossible. Sarah understood that. Like she always did. This wasn't her first World Cup with him. She was brought in to the chaos back in 2008 when they played in the Euro Cup. That's when the globe fell in love with her. She was the perfect image of supportive girlfriend. He had seen her just hours ago at the parade where she stood beside him proudly. With everything going on for Lukas, he was even more grateful to have her in his life. Perhaps now he could consider more for them? Was he ready for that step? He had always been a hopeless romantic. He was always so certain that it was the life he wanted. Even with Daniela, he planned on being married and with a family by now. It hadn't happened as of yet, but why? Sarah wanted it as badly as he did. Seven years she had stood beside him. Why couldn't he shake a feeling within him that screamed something wasn't right? He sometimes felt as though the lone mortal that he does feel right around was Lukas but that was because he was his best friend... Right? Yeah, that had to be it. Nothing else. Bastian shook his head. He wasn't attracted to other men! Never have been. Everything he was feeling and thinking was a result of the fact that he would miss his best friend. That was his story and he was sticking to it.

He ventured into the living room and discovered something was off. Sarah's luggage from Brazil sat there, which was expected, however, there were a few boxes there as well. The knick knacks she kept around the room were gone. Her picture shows no longer sat on the ledge. Terror spread through him. She was just reorganizing... Right?

"Bastian..." Her voice was soft, quiet yet somewhat surprised to see the midfielder in the living room. Bastian spun around and stared at his girlfriend, unsure of what to say or think or do. "I was not expecting you back so soon."

"I... I, uh wanted to come home earlier than originally planned to surprise you," he gave her a warm smile and crossed the room towards her. She smiled at him with tears in her eyes. "I wasn't able to give you much of me the last month..."

She looked up at him with a teary smile and shook her head. He was truly an amazing man. The greatest man she could have ever asked for. She knew how lucky she was to have him in her life. He was perfect for her in every way.

"It is alright, Basti..." She whispered, suppressing her tears. Bastian's eyes grew with worry. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her but was surprised when she pulled away from him. "Basti..."

Bastian saw the look on her face and he tried to remain calm. It wasn't until he noticed Monika enter the room sheepishly that he saw the entire extent of the state of affairs. His heart was broken. Shattered into a million pieces and It showed all over his face. Sarah had never hated herself more than at that instant.

"Sarah... No..." Tears were in his eyes and the world began to spin around him. This wasn't really happening.

"Basti.. I am so sorry..." She stepped towards him, but Bastian quickly pulled out and looked at her with a mix of anger and torment. "I didn't plan on this."

"You're the other woman in Monika's life?!" Bastian shouted, looking at the two of them exasperated. "You have got to be fucking kidding me. Sarah... How..."

Sarah shrugged, wiping away tears from her eyes. She looked at the floor, shrugging off Monika as she attempted to soothe the blonde.

"It just..." She took a deep breath, avoiding the disheveled man who had fallen to his knees in the middle of the living room floor. "I couldn't fight it any longer. I love you, Basti, so much..."

His eyes flashed daggers at her, "what, you just love her more?"

Sarah nodded sadly, "I wish it wasn't this complicated."

"When did this all start?" Bastian asked quietly. "Monika wasn't even in Brazil..."

Again Sarah was silent. Trying desperately to control the tears, but breaking your own heart was just as hard as breaking another. Monika sighed sadly and stepped forth. She hated this situation more than anything. Bastian had grown to be a brother to her and Sarah... Well Sarah was everything. It was easier with her and Lukas because they had been having problems for a few years. She often wondered if they only married because of Louis. If that's the only reason they were even together. This case, unfortunately, was the opposite. Bastian and Sarah's relationship was one of the reasons she and Lukas had so many issues. She was so jealous of the love between them and always reprimanded Lukas for it. This just wasn't supposed to happen. Not to Bastian and Sarah.

"It started back at the Euro's in 2008," Monika broke the silence, getting a choked sob from Sarah in response as guilt ate at her. Bastian’s head shot upward as he stared at the blondes in confusion and unbelief. "You and Lukas were the best of friends and Sarah and I spent so much time together. It was all innocent at first. I was so overwhelmed with Louis and trying to support Lukas. Some of the other wags treated me more like a nuisance than anything but not Sarah. She tried to be there whenever she could. It was the night before the finals. You and Lukas were passed out in your room. Sarah came and kept me company knowing you had gone to bed early. We were just hanging out while Louis slept. Heidi eventually told us to go take a breather and we did. It was nice to get a little break. We went to one of the local clubs and just let our hair down. We went back to the hotel early considering the night life there and we were hanging out on the balcony. I had let Heidi go back to her room so it was just the three of us. We took in a tad too much to drink and we kissed. I didn't even fully understand it. Neither one of us did. It simply happened."

"I don't...." Bastian whispered, tears pouring down his face, "almost our entire relationship..."

Bastian and Sarah's eyes met and they both choked out a sob. Monika was standing beside where Sarah sat, her arms wrapped around herself holding back her own weeping. Everything about this was so wrong.

"I tried to fight it," Sarah choked out, looking up at Monika, "we both did."

Monika nodded, "when Lukas left Bayern Munich it was almost a blessing for us. We stopped it then."

"Then the World Cup..."

"It was always a cycle of on and off," Sarah tried explaining, "then six months ago we just couldn't take it anymore. We needed to decide what we were doing. Either it needed to end or we had to stop fighting."

"Did you even..." Bastian couldn't finish the sentence.

"Oh god yes!" Sarah exclaimed sliding off the sofa and onto the floor in front of Bastian. "I love you to a greater extent than I can ever explain. You're perfect in every way and I couldn't ask for any better..."

Bastian looked into Sarah's eyes, his own dancing with confusion. "Then..."

Sarah sighed and looked at the floor, "when I am around her I feel the one thing no one has ever made me feel..."

"Whole..." Bastian choked out, he seemed to have a better understanding now while he became even more confused.

Monika and Sarah shared a look with one another. They knew at some level the men would someday understand the feelings that they had for each other and the fight it took to try to avoid it. Even if not fully now - they would eventually.

"Yes, whole." Monika sat on the couch closer to the two old lovers.

Bastian jumped to his feet and distanced himself from the women. He walked over to the sliding door leading to the balcony. He leaned his head against it and looked out onto Munich. He loved this apartment. He and Sarah had been so excited when they found this place. It was where they would begin their lives together and someday.. Start a family.

"You don't have to be with someone just because you feel whole," Bastian whispered, struggling to internalize his emotions, which was proving to be difficult. "You stated it yourself that things were perfect."

Sarah gave him a kindly face and stood up. She walked up behind him and put her hand along his shoulder.

"Things were perfect," her voice was low. "Too perfect I think. I love you and I love being with you..."

Bastian grabbed her sleeve and whirled around, drawing her into his arms and held onto her as tightly as he could. He buried his head into her neck as a fresh batch of tears found the surface.

"Then stay. Stay with me," his voice was desperate. "We can get married and have a family like we always talked about.."

Sarah stared at the ceiling, swallowing a sob, then closed her eyes, letting a few tears fall from her eyes in silence. She held onto the distressed midfielder wishing she could take away his pain.

"Oh Basti... As much as I would love that," she took a deep breath, "I would never be able to give you all of me. You deserve someone who can do that. You deserve someone who will make you their world. I love being with you, Hun, but I can't help but love being with Monika just a bit more."

Bastian tightened his hold on her. He detested this. He was not a desperate person. Ever. He was a real fighter. Someone who never gave up no matter what the obstacle or how much he was beaten down. His World Cup final performance was proof of that. He wasn't about to let the woman he loved more than anything walk out on him. Not for someone else. His best friend's wife at that.

"Sarah..."

This would be his last chance. He gathered her face in his hands and he kissed her with every act of passion he could summon. He poured his entire heart and soul into her. For a brief moment, she kissed him back, but seconds later she pulled away from him with tears pouring down her face.

"I am so sorry," Sarah whispered as she backed up from him. "I will be staying in a hotel tonight. I will be shipping a truck shortly to collect everything to get my things to London. I didn't desire to hurt you like this."

Bastian nearly leaped towards her as she worked her way to the doorway. They both knew he would never hurt her that this was merely an act of a desperate man in love who was about to lose everything he held dear.

"Sarah... I love you... Please..."

Sarah didn't dare look at him. She just couldn't. If she did she just might give in. She knew the risk she was taking. What she and Bastian had was safe. Safe and free from the hell that was sure to come after her and Monika. It would likely last for life and she would always be treated like a Queen. But it lacked passion. It lacked the excitement she didn't realize she was craving. It didn't have the same complete feeling that she had when she was with Monika. That was something she couldn't dismiss. Even if it cost her everything. It took all of Sarah's strength to pull her hand out of Bastian's and not run into his arms. It took her everything she had to walk out the door.

"Goodbye, Basti."

* * *

  
**London.**

The house was very quiet. Too quiet, perhaps. Lukas laid his bags down at the door and looked around him. Everything was different now. The small things that made this house complete was gone. There was no longer anything of Monika's. It didn't even look like a man and his son lived here. It just looked incomplete.

Lukas ventured further into the grand foyer and looked around. He paused, unsure of where to begin. Ordinarily, he would come in and kiss his wife, then find Louis who was no doubt near his mother and spend the remainder of the day with him. Making up for some lost time. Hell, who was he kidding? It hadn't been like that in a long time. Not for the last year or so. Arriving home to Louis' happy face and eagerness to play though - that had never converted.

Louis. Lukas smiled and began to head down the narrow corridor that lead into the designer kitchen and entry way into the backyard. Monika had mentioned that Louis was here with Heidi, right? He couldn't wait to see his boy. Did he even know what was going on? Likely not. Lukas turned a corner and stopped in his tracks. He could see Louis playing with his soccer ball. Happily kicking practicing his skills. So serperated from what was going on around him. Louis was no doubt still super excited about what he saw at the Finals. Despite recent events, Lukas was still driving a high - which was likely why he was handling matters as well as he was. Lukas decided to concentrate on that feeling and his son - whatever else was moving along in his life would have to wait until after.

Lukas jogged to the sliding door, tore them open then hurried over to Louis, scooping him up in his arms and swung him.

"Daddy!" Louis squealed. "You're home!"

Lukas beamed as he put the little boy down again. Lukas reached into the small duffle bag he had brought with him to the yard and pulled out the gold medal he got for winning the World Cup.

"Yes, buddy, I'm home," Lukas put the medal over his son's head and kissed his forehead. "This is now rightfully yours."

Louis' eyes beamed along with his mile wide grin. "Really daddy?! Play football with me?"

Lukas ruffled the little boys hair, smiling at the fact that he was wearing a minature version of his own Arsenal kit. Everything felt like it was going to be okay. That much he was sure of. He had known for a long time that his spousal relationship was over and if anything, Monika merely did what he didn't possess the backbone to do.

"Of course, think you can score on me?"

Louis put his hands on his lips and gave his dad that look.

"I almost scored on you at the World Cup, daddy." Louis said in a voice that was full of sass making Lukas laugh. "I will not only score but I will take the cup from you!"

With that, Louis kicked the ball away from beside his father and took off down the large yard. Lukas smiled and found a sense of internal serenity. As long as he had his son, nothing could touch him.

Lukas took off after his son, giving Louis every opportunity to take the ball and score on him. He had heard his phone ring a few times, once it was Monika's number and twice it was Sarah's, which he found odd but chose to ignore it. Once the subtle sound of the Portuguese love song he used in a video attached to the famous selfie from celebrations echoed throughout the backyard. Lukas froze and his blood ran cold. He recognized at once, without a shadow of a uncertainty that something was amiss. These absences from home always resulted in Bastian and Sarah locking themselves up for at least a daytime. There was no reason he should be calling during his "Sarah time".

"Give me a second there bud, your old man needs some water and I think Onkel Basti is calling."

Lukas said before trotting over to his small duffle bag. Lukas grabbed his new phone (after destroying the last one a few days before) and cursed when he noticed he missed the call. He swiped the screen and went to call him back when it rang again.

"Basti..." Lukas answered with fear in his articulation. Quiet. Lukas probbed him again but was met with only sniffles. Bastian had been crying. "What's wrong? What happened?"

There was another series of sniffles, "I have a week or so vacation. Being a champion warrants me them apparently."

Lukas tilted his head to the side in confusion. Of course he expected that. Management for arsenal had also extended them a few days break, only being required to attend the final session prior to the match. He was beating around the bush. Something must be terribly wrong.

"That's good, then, isn’t it?" Lukas asked cautiously. "Plenty of time with Sarah."

At the very mention of her name, Bastian fell apart. Lukas felt his own heart break. There was no way Sarah would even consider leaving him. Was there?

"Sarah left me."

"No..." Lukas whispered, his widening as all the pieces fell together, "there's no way."

Bastian chuckled in disbelief, "apparently so."

Lukas pulled out the nearby chair from his wooden patio set and slowly forced himself onto the chair. Louis climbed into his lap.

"Tell Onkle Basti, I miss him!"

Bastian chuckled, "tell him I miss him. Tell him if his daddy lets it, I'll come see h for a few days. I need to get out of this place."

It was never even a discussion they had to have.

"Louie buddy," Lukas said cheerfully to his son so his son remained unaware of anything going on. "Onkle Basti is coming I stay with us for a few days. That sounds awesome, doesn't it?"

The little boy leaped from his father's arms and began running around the yard like he was celebrating a goal, cheering loudly.

"Thank you."

"Just get your ass here."

That was all that needed to be said between the pair. Lukas put his phone down and put his hand on his head. How had they both ended up like this? The thought that there was another member of the team that was going to lose their girl made his blood run cold. That was until reality came crashing down on him. Then his blood began to boil.

He unlocked his phone and called Sarah. He was in no mood to deal with his ex but Sarah... Oh, he could deal with her.

"Poldi..." Her voice was strained as though she had been crying herself.

Nope, Lukas was having none of it.

"Don't you ever call me that again, you understand me?!"

The sound of Sarah's gasps filled the speaker.

"How could you do this to him Sarah?" Lukas yelled in a whisper as he motioned to Heidi that he was taking the call inside. "With my wife nonetheless!"

"So he told you, then," she whispered, "look Lukas we are both..."

"What? Sorry!?" He cried, knowing he was out of earshot of Louis, "you're a bunch of things but sorry isn't one of them. Monika I expected this from..."

"Hey!" Monika could be heard screaming in the backdrop.

"Well ok not really the lesbian afair but the leaving," Lukas stated, "but you Sarah. I spent 30 seconds on the phone with him and he sounds absolutely distraught. A broken man! Thankfully Pep is giving DFB players a few days to rest before having to move on their summer circuit and he's able to fly down here. How could you do this to him right now? This was supposed to be the happiest time of his life he just..."

"Won the World Cup, I know Lukas," Sarah finished sadly. "I was going to wait a week or two before doing anything but... I got a huge contract in London and I need to be there Friday. I want to be able to live my dreams too, Lukas. It was just... Bad timing."

Lukas laughed, "bad timing? How long has this been going on?"

There was quiet for a moment before Sarah finally spoke.

"On and off since the 2008 Euro..."

"You're kidding me, right?" Lukas was in disbelief. "You two are unreal. Absolutely unreal. God, Sarah, my wife? Really? It had to be my wife?"

"Blame me," Monika sigh could be heard through the speaker. Obviously this call was playing through the vehicle's speaker system. "I was the one who moved in on her. I have always been attracted to women. I coaxed her into the affair. I'm the home wrecker. Not her."

"You both are," Lukas snarled in reply. "You're both disgusting. I'm sure Bastian was ever so forgiving as well. You never deserved him..."

"You're correct," Sarah replied shocking Lukas, "I don't deserve him. I left him because I knew no matter what I could never give him the type of love and the relationship he deserves. This wasn't an easy thing for me to do, Lukas. Even if Monika and I aren't officially a couple, I left for more reasons than just what meets the eye."

"I'm filing tomorrow morning," Lukas dead panned as his eyes found Louis. "I want to share custody."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Monika said simply. "When you are in the city, he can stick around with you. When you're not, I can get him. Even if it's me dropping him off in the morning and taking him before a game. We will work around your games and training."

Lukas closed his eyes and nodded, "thank you."

"I admire how well you two are handling things," Sarah said lightly.

"I think we both knew it was a matter of time." Said Lukas.

"We simply weren't meant for the long haul, but we tried the best we could for Louis' sake."

"We will keep in touch," Lukas said

"Lukas! Wait!" Sarah shouted before Lukas could hang up

Lukas growled, "what do you want?"

Sarah flinched, but knew she deserved it, "take charge of him, please?"

"Like you even need to ask. I'm not like you. I would never desert him."

With that Lukas ended the call and sighed in defeat. This was worse than he could have imagined it being. A whole lot worse. He could accept the death of his marriage because deep down he knew It was over. He was dying inside and he likely would be for a long time, but he had time to prepare for the worst sort to speak. Bastian had no warning. No indication at all. Hell Sarah had been at the parade just hours before. Things had always been amazing between them. Almost no fights. She was his biggest supporter off the pitch and immediately it was entirely broken. This is going to destroy him.

There was no way Lukas was going to allow that to happen. Perhaps his next act was rash. Maybe even extreme, but it had to be done. This was going to cause a rift in everything if he could pull it off but did he care? Not a bloody chance in hell. The girls did this to them and now it was his turn to shake things up. He quickly picked up his phone and dialed a number he knew all to well.

"Hello champ!" The voice of a man filled the speaker with enthusiasm.

"Ali, I need your help."

Lukas' voice was serious. He meant business. It didn't go unnoticed.

"Anything for you, what are you thinking?"

Lukas grinned, "Bundesliga."

**\-----**


	4. Chapter Three: Tried So Hard and Got So Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bastian is now in London - how will the two friends deal with their respective breakups? What does Lukas have up his sleeve?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: My Sacrifice
> 
> Author: chibiihealz  
> Rating: PG-13 (for now, may change)  
> Warnings: Fluff  
> Pairing: Schweinski (Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski)  
> Language: English  
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, they're not mine.Nothing has ever happened.  
> Authors Notes: A few things... I know Lukas speaks Polish to his parents but Oma and Opa are what I have been using forever and it's habit. Plus, they are in Germany... so just go with it :p. Nothing too major in this chapter. Some cute moments and we learn just what Lukas has up his sleeve. THANK YOU SO FREAKING MUCH for the awesome response! I love the fact that you guys are enjoying this! It's real motivation to keep writing!

Chapter 3  
Tried so Hard and Got so Far…

  
 _I tried so hard_  
 _And got so far_  
 _But in the end_  
 _It doesn't even matter_  
 _\- Linkin Park_

 

It was about four in the morning when Bastian finally landed in London. He had passed unnoticed through the crowds, something he had been thankful for. He slipped into a rental car and with the assistance of his GPS, he found his way to Lukas' place with little difficulties. He looked at the house with a small smile. There was a light glow coming from the backyard. He entered the code for the gate and drove up to the house silently. Bastian turned the car off and gathered his bag before making his way into the backyard. Certainly enough, Lukas was spread out on the pool chair, his custom hat covering his face as he slumbered. Bastian smirked and threw his bag on the floor, causing enough noise to startle the sleeping man awake and to his feet.

In a sleepy daze, Lukas stared at Bastian for a second before registering the fact that his best friend was standing in front of him. Once it did register, Lukas leaped forward and pulled his friend into his arms. The two stood there, captured in an embrace. Holding onto one another with all they had left, which wasn't a whole lot at the moment.

"Basti... Good to have you here. You must be exhausted, no?" Lukas asked as he snapped off the embrace and led his best friend into the household

"I am, really," Bastian replied with a yawn. "I could use some whiskey if you have any."

Lukas smirked and led him towards the famed man cave and over to the bar.

"Nothing better to help a man find rest. Or then they allege," Lukas said with a smirk as he poured a shot, which Bastian chugged. "Desire to head to bed now or talk a bit?"

Bastian yawned, "Both."

Lukas laughed, "Come with me to my room. We can talk in there until one of us passes out. Louis gets up with Heidi so it's unlikely he'll be waking you up before you're ready to wake up."

Bastian looked at his friend in appreciation. He followed Lukas through the house, making every effort to be silent and soon found himself in Lukas' room. Lukas quickly found the remote while Bastian adjusted the pillows so that it was more comfortable for the pair to sit against. The two went up onto the bed and stretched out. Lukas quickly found the movie channels and led off a search.

"Any ideas?" Lukas as quickly

Bastian gave him a look, "same thing as I stated a week ago - get Netflix."

Lukas grinned at the memory of the two of them arguing in the hotel room over what movie to observe simply because the selection was scarce and repetitive. By the third week of competition the boys had already torn through the majority of the movie selection.

"Well, it just so happens..." Lukas got up quickly and grabbed a second remote for his AppleTV. With a quick motion the small box powered up and he promptly found the Netflix app. "That I invested in it. Louis apparently loves it when he gets his TV time."

Bastian chuckled, "so you finally listened to me. What a guy. Can't believe it took you this long to get with the times."

Lukas rolled his eyes and began his search through the comedy section.

"Keep it up and I'll make you watch the Notebook." Lukas mumbled to himself

Unfortunately, Bastian overheard and was suddenly overcome with sorrow. His eyes found the cover and his breath became unsteady as he fought the emotion. A few deep breaths later and he found his composure. This didn't go unnoticed by Lukas, who was kicking himself in the ass for not thinking before he speaks.

"Sarah loved the Notebook..." Bastian managed to whisper  
"Man... I'm sorry," Lukas pleased. "Foot in mouth disease. You know I got it bad and there's no cure!"

That made Bastian smile ever so slightly. He followed the Netflix surfing Lukas was doing before you came up with a brilliant idea.

"Do you have a dice?" Bastian said with a grin  
"I have one on my phone... Why?" Lukas was genuinely curious as to what his best friend would need a dice for.  
"Get it."

Lukas looked at his friend with question in his eyes but quickly powered up the app on his phone with the dice.

"Alright, I used to do this with..." He paused at her name and took a deep breath. "Her... All the time. Roll the dice once. That's the category we will pick. Please go ahead. Roll."

Lukas rolled. It was a four. Bastian took remote from Lukas and quickly found the children's and family movie section which resulted in complaining whine from Lukas.

"I demand a re-roll!!"

Bastian rolled his eyes. "Roll again."

This time it was a six. Bastian scrolled down to the ages eight to ten sub categories and motioned for Lukas to roll once more. Five. The film would be Jumanji. Lukas beamed.

"I like your idea," Lukas nodded as he got a little more comfortable, "should listen to you more often."

There was silence again. The boys watched the movie in relative silence for the first bit. That was until Bastian broke the ice.

 

"Sarah and Monika..." His voice was low

"I know," Lukas responded, understanding Bastian's thoughts.

"How did we not see it?" Bastian looked at his friend briefly, catching the shrug of response.

"I have no idea," Lukas sighed heavily. "We never questioned the closeness. I always figured it was because we were best friends."

Bastian smirked as he thought about everything, including the obvious affection between the two ladies he witnessed in the past.

"It was so perfect," Bastian said as he allowed himself to sink further into the bed. "I always believed the four of us were just a little unit."

"A family," Lukas summarized, getting a nod for Bastian. "I get it. I knew I would lose Monika one day or another. Hell, I always expected her to end up with Micha or something."

Bastian laughed loudly, "Micha? Oh I don't know about that. I don't think Torsten would appreciate that one bit."

"Micha and Torsten, really?" Lukas laughed. "There's no way. I always put my money on Phillip and Timo."

"Philmo..." Bastian thought out loud, "doesn't sound as good as Schweinski."

Lukas threw a small pillow at his best friend, "that's because we are just that awesome. It's the ski that makes it epic."

Bastian reached behind him and without missing a beat, hit Lukas in the face with the pillow. Lukas looked stunned and Bastian started laughing. Lukas beamed at the heap of his best friend, seemingly so happy - if even for a second or two. Lukas grabbed a pillow, swinging to return the attack, however, Bastian grabbed the pillow and flung it to the side and started poking at Lukas' sides. Lukas squeaked out in surprise and rolled himself off his bed. Bastian considered his choices. He could easily tackle Lukas and start a war or.. Or he could simply be a shit.

Bastian smirked at Lukas with a mischievous grin and grabbed the pillow off the floor. He fluffed it up and Lukas closed his eyes to prepare for the hit. Only it never came. Lukas opened his left eye and quickly rolled his eyes at the scene before him. Bastian had taken it upon himself to spread out on his bed - effectively leaving next to no space on it.

"Really?" Lukas stood up with a mock annoyed look on his face. "I invite you into my house and you simply take over my bed."

Bastian nodded with a smile. "The floor looks comfortable enough. I think I am just going to sleep like this."

Lukas rolled his eyes; he was glad that his friend hadn't lost his sense of humor in all the drama surrounding them. With a wicked gleam in his eyes, Lukas tore off his T-shirt and tossed it aside.

"I am not sleeping on the floor and frankly, I am tired. So," Lukas grabbed an extra throw blanket out of one of the cabinets just outside the room and found a spot beside Bastian, laying his head in that space along the shoulder by the chest, smiling internally as he felt Bastian laugh under him. "I am just going to have to sleep on you. Good night Basti."

Lukas was rather satisfied with himself. He was expecting to be thrown off the bed or something along those lines. They had slept like this before in the past. More so in the past and not for a while in the last few years. The last few years would result in him hitting the floor with a thump.

Bastian glanced down at his friend and smiled gently. He considered doing just what Lukas expected, however, he decided against it. Instead, he wrapped his arm around Lukas, letting his hand dangle off his hip and closed his eyes. After the day he experienced... This was just what he needed. Lukas couldn’t help but grin, he had missed when they had been this close.

"Good night, Poldi."

* * *

 

It was roughly nine in the morning when the sun flooded Lukas' room, blanketing the two friends who had slept in the exact position they had fallen asleep in. The sun first caught Bastian's eyes who groaned in protest at the intrusion. He raised his free arm and rubbed his eyes. Once his vision found a way to work again, he took in his surroundings. He recognized he wasn't at home and was briefly confused. Lukas shifted beside him with a groan, signally he was waking up. Bastian looked down and the results of the previous day began to play in his head. He had somehow believed for a moment that it had all been a cruel joke. That, obviously, was not the case.

"Schweini..." Lukas groaned, stretching out. "Schweini let me sleep!"

Bastian laughed lightly and slipped away from Lukas' body, missing the pout Lukas gave him from the lack of contact. This reaction surprised Lukas. He had slept like that with Bastian before. Why would he suddenly miss his presence? Was it just because it had been so long since he and Monika had been close like that? Lukas decided that was probably the case.

Bastian quickly stretched out and grabbed his duffle bag and began to take out a change of clothes. He had needed a shower so badly. Showers always had this therapeutic effect on him. No words were spoken between the men. Words weren't needed. Not until Lukas had his coffee at least.

Ten minutes later, Lukas had almost succomed to the seduction of sleep once more when his phone began to play the theme for Mission Impossible signalling it was likely his agent Nassim calling in regards to his inquiry the night before with his associate Ali. It was Bastian, who grabbed the phone off the night stand. Realizing the number, he quickly answered the call with a grin.

"Prinz Poldi's phone," Bastian answered with a smirk, holding the phone in one hand and the towel around his hips with the other.

"Is that you Bastian?" Nassim voice exclaimed. "I should have known you would be spending your vacation with the lug I call a client. Specially with the news breaking this morning..."

Bastian groaned. He was hoping to have some time to come to terms with everything before he had to face the media and the whole Monika/Sarah bit.

"Bild has gotten hold of the story," Bastian sighed, getting Lukas' attention who began to pull himself out of the bed. "Should have known it wouldn't take long."

"Oh, I am insensitive, I apologize, buddy," the man coughed in embarrassment. "My apologies. I am gathering this is a new development?"

"I only found out last night." Bastian dead panned. "I gather you're looking for your client?"

"Please," Nassim understood clearly that Bastian was done this conversation.

Without a word Bastian handed Lukas his cell phone and turned towards the master bathroom once again to finish changing. This time he left the door open a touch in order to listen in on Lukas' conversation. Were the rumors of Lukas going to Milan true?

"Nassim, I do apologize for disrupting your family time. Ali informed me that is why he was managing your calls," Lukas said, dropping his feet over the side of his bed. "I hope all is well."

"Of course. Congratulations on the World Cup, Champ," Nassim replied. "How are you holding up? I may have approached the subject with ill timing when I spoke to Bastian."

Lukas sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "I am getting along as good as can be expected I guess. Did Ali discuss matters with you?"

"He did," his resolution was played with the sound of shuffling papers. "It just so happens once news broke regarding a possible transfer to Milan that I had some other clubs approach me to see if you would bite. I have two Bundesliga teams asking about you."

This made Lukas perk up. Could it really be that easy? No, of course not. Asking about a player and actually getting into the squad are different things. Most of the times, nothing came from inquiries like that.

"Oh?"

"Well, Cologne want their home town boy back. Particularly after the celebration," there was a sound of a smile in Nassim's voice. "They were promoted from 2. Bundesliga. I'm sure you knew that though."

"Of course," Lukas replied simply nodding a greeting at Bastian as he walked came out of the bathroom fully dressed looking confused.

He motioned to Lukas, basically asking what the conversation was about, but Lukas simply waved him off. Bastian rolled his eyes and shook his head, grabbing his own phone. He had numerous texts from various team mates of past and present and some other friends and family. News had definitely broken about Sarah. He groaned and threw his phone back into the bag, focusing on the conversation Lukas was having.

"The other may or may not surprise you," Nassim said cheerfully, "Bayern Munich."

This surprised Lukas and it registered on his expression. After passing on them like he held five years ago, he was astounded that they would ever even look at him once more.

"With the loss of Kroos to Real Mandrid and with Lewandowski leaving they are looking for not only a face people know but a hell of a striker." Nassim continued, "they're looking to peruse you hard right now."

Lukas took a deep breath and locked eyes with Bastian. This was about a transfer - but the look on Lukas' face told Bastian that it wasn't who he originally believed. The only question was, where? The expression of surprise in his eyes suggested Bayern Münich, however, Bastian refused to conceive that he could in fact bet with his best friend on the same team outside of international play again. He couldn't get his hopes up like that.

"Take that interest," Lukas replied with his signature smile. "Both of them, but push..."

"Bayern more," Nassim concluded with a grin. This could turn out to be a lucrative deal for both of them. "I will be in touch."

Lukas hung up the phone and rested his elbows on his knees and looked at Bastian, who was sitting across from him. It was obvious that Bastian wanted to be filled in on whatever was going on. Lukas, though, had found his way back on his high from the weekend. Their time in Brazil had been unbelievable. Not only due to the fact that they won the World Cup, but because he got to be with his best friend on a regular basis. Something he had been missing since leaving Bayern Munich in the first place. So many of his good friends were there. Sadly, leaving Arsenal would mean leaving a handful of other friends, but he adored the group in Munich. Lukas leaped from where he had been sitting and rubbed Bastian's head with a mischievous glow in his eyes. He was going to have some fun with this.

"Took you long enough in that shower!" Lukas jumped around his room in a hyper overload, gathering what he required for his own shower. "I was starting to think you were moving into my shower or something!"

Bastian just stared at Lukas - obviously not amused with the games Lukas was playing.

"No way," Bastian shook his head cutting Lukas off from the washroom. "You don't get to do this to me. Who are you perusing?"

Lukas wrestled Bastian out of the way and Lukas hurried into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him, laughing loudly, taunting Bastian. Bastian had begun banging on the door rather loudly, unaware that the bedroom door had opened a moment ago. Louis slowly approached Bastian, still in his football pyjamas, looking out with wonder.

"Onkle Basti," he whispered making Bastian stop in his tracks. "Did you lock daddy up in there?"

Bastian shot a glare at the door before kneeling down in front of Louis.

"Of course not, pal," Bastian answered, ruffling the blondes hair, "your daddy and I were talking and your daddy got a phone call from Nassim. You remember him don't you?"

Louis smiled and nodded happily. "Yes. He's the man who tells daddy to change his jersey."

Bastian smiled at the boys innocence and way of thinking. "Something like that. Well, he might be giving your daddy a New Jersey to wear, but your daddy won't tell me what."

Louis smiled, hearing the shower had shut off and knocked on the doorway.

"Daddy!!" Louis called out

Lukas opened the door a little morsel, just enough to show his face. A wacky one at that, making Louis laugh. Bastian couldn't help but catch the pair with admiration. A pang of jealousy went through him as his mind cruelly reminded him that Sarah left, leaving him with no idea as to when he would ever be a father.

"Yes buddy?" Lukas asked before making yet another silly face at his son

"Daddy, you're silly," Louis laughed again. "I want pancakes, please."

Bastian nudged the boy lightly, drawing his attention.

"How about some chocolate chip ones? With loads of syrup?"

Louis beamed and jumped and down, "with butter too? The melty kind?"

"Of course!" Bastian exclaimed, taking the boy's hand. "Let's go get started with that and let daddy finish getting ready."

 

Lukas now had the door fully open and was standing in the doorway with a grim look on his face at the thought of the choice of ingredients for the food. It's not something he would have chosen for his son, but he supposed that was the job of an uncle. Spoil them rotten. His face softened as he saw the pair walk off gleefully. There was something that warmed his heart watching Louis and Bastian together. He had seen them on the pitch after the celebration. Like himself and Bastian, the pair was so natural together. Like they were part of the same family.

Lukas slipped on his shirt - well, Bastian would often tease him that the Adidas shirt was better described as painted on, and made his way into the kitchen. The two of them were in the middle of rummaging through the cupboards getting the supplies they needed for the pancakes. He noticed Heidi slipping out the front doorway, signifying it was likely that they were out of syrup, milk Or juice. It didn't take long for either of the two to become covered in flour. This always happened when they set out to make pancakes. Monika always found it to be highly aggravating while Lukas found it more endearing than anything. Family. This is what Bastian had been speaking about. With everyone else aside, that's what the three of them were. The thought made Lukas grin from ear to ear.

"Bayern Munich," Lukas said as he entered the room, causing Bastian to freeze and spin around and stare at him with a look that was a mixture of surprised and absolutely happy

"What did you say?" Asked Bastian, his mind unsure of what he actually heard.

Lukas grinned and walked over to the island counter where the pair had been playing around. He leaned his elbows against it and gave Bastian a smirk.

"You asked who Nassim is pursuing for the upcoming season," Lukas repeated grabbing a bit of the powder mixture and threw it in Bastian's face as he repeated himself. "Bayern Munich. They want me to come back."

"Daddy, Onkle Basti..." Louis said as he began to process what his father and Uncle had been discussing. "Would wear same jerseys and Onkle Basti would be here more?!"

The excitement on the small boy's face was contagious. He was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

Lukas leaned over the counter so he was closer to his son and rubbed his powder covered blonde hair.

"Nothing is official yet, buddy, but it looks like that's exactly how it is going to be. Only Onkle Bastian won't be here much," the boy looked at his dad confusion. "You and I would be in Munich a whole lot more with Onkle Basti. I was thinking that during the off season, when daddy isn't playing, we could stay in Cologne like we used too. Be closer to Oma and Opa."

Louis started jumping up and down screaming with excitement, then began to run around the room. Lukas and Bastian looked at each other with an expression that said it all. Despite all the chaos and drama in their lives at the moment, it was clear that they always held each other's back and things were going to be alright.

Sadly, Lukas and Bastian both knew, deep down, that while they were feeling a high from the prospect of Lukas' transfer and the residual from the World Cup... This happiness wouldn't last. The roller coaster of emotions they were on was bound to come dashing back down.

\---


	5. Chapter Four: Apologize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys spend more cute moments together :) The boys move forward with the end of their relationships. Bastian stands up for not only himself but for Lukas and Louis against the girls. What will happen with their ex's? What's going on with Louis? What causes Bastian to finally snap?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: My Sacrifice  
> Author: chibiihealz   
> Rating: PG (for now, may change)  
> Warnings: Fluff, Language  
> Pairing: Schweinski (Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski)  
> Language: English  
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, they're not mine.Nothing has ever happened.

**Chapter Four**

 

_What was left when that fire was gone?_

_I thought it felt right but that right was wrong_

_All caught up in the eye of the storm_

_And trying to figure out what it's like moving on_

_And I don't even know what kind of things I said_

_My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead_

_So I'm picking up the pieces, now where to begin_

_The hardest part of ending is starting again_

-        Waiting for the End. Linkin Park

 

 

Problem with being a pro football player in Europe? Your life is on display for everyone to see. Sure, it has its perks, but other times, it can be aggravating. For Lukas and Bastian, it was proving to be a living hell. Not only had news broke regarding Sarah and Bastian's breakup, the reasons had been as well. To the girls credit, they had attempted to conceal it. Monika hadn't been expecting a photographer to be hiding in the hallway in the hotel that her room was on. One picture had thrown the media and their fans into a frenzy.   
  


Lukas and Bastian had rather enjoyed their day, spending it with Louis. Mostly playing soccer in the back yard, but had even escaped to a park that Louis enjoyed playing at with his friends. Thankfully, Lukas' rental was in a gated community so they were free from photographers. The residences gossiped and didn't even bother to hide the fact they were doing it, however, they did leave the trio alone for the most part. 

 

With Louis in bed, the boys were stretched out in the living room finally checking out just how bad things were. Lukas was on his laptop, stressing over the insanity that had taken over social media while Bastian answered numerous calls and text messages. 

 

"This is insane," Lukas groaned in frustration, slamming the lid of his laptop closed. "There's so much hate right now..."

 

"I want to say they deserve it," Bastian mused, "but I can't. Not the homophobic stuff they're getting. It's disgusting."

 

Lukas nodded in agreement, "They're just WAGs, imagine if it was a high profile player and people wonder why only Hitzlsperger did."

 

"That was a brave thing he did," Bastian stated. "He got a lot of heat and hatred which really is unfortunate. Great man."

 

"I don't think I could come out like that if I was gay," Lukas said simply. 

 

"I could." Bastian retorted. "Let them hate me. I don't give a damn. We should be free to love who we damn well please."

 

Lukas raised his eyebrow at his friend, "something you aren't telling me buddy?"

 

Bastian rolled his eyes. "No, I've never as so much even kissed a guy. Never been attracted to them."

 

That was a lie. Bastian wasn't about to share that piece of information with Lukas. Especially not the fact that when they were younger, Bastian had a massive crush that he didn't understand on Lukas. It seemingly disappeared now, but he somehow believed Lukas wouldn't be so understanding about it. 

 

Lukas looked down. Should he tell Bastian about the crush he had on his best friend a few years back? Or was it one of those things better left unsaid. He didn't love him like that anymore, so what was the point in risking their friendship? At least he thought he didn't feel anything anymore. Friendship. Brotherhood. That's all. Right?

 

Bastian grabbed the remote and turned on the television. The news had been on. The television was on maybe thirty seconds before it showed what was going on at the hotel the girls were staying at. Protestors had gathered outside the Four Seasons Hotel with signs condemning the ladies of their lifestyle choices. The sight of it made Lukas sick to his stomach. He had been raised Catholic and was raised to believe homosexuality was a sin, but as he grew up, he came to his own conclusion regarding it. Bastian was more open minded about everything than Lukas was. It's one of the ways they balanced each other out. 

 

"Speaking of Lukas Podolski," the reporter said as the show returned to the studio; his picture appeared beside the woman. It was the official portrait for Arsenal. "Has the heartbreak and devastation from his wife's betrayal chasing him out of town? Early reports are suggesting that not only is Podolski considering Milan but he is also heavily pursuing Bayern Munich..."

 

Almost on cue, Lukas' phone rang. It was Monika. 

 

"Tell me you're kidding," she squealed into the phone. "Bayern?! Sarah and I are trying to build a life together and now you're taking off to Munich without even considering whether or not..."

 

"Oh, shut up," Lukas snapped, causing Bastian to look up at him baffled. It was rare for Lukas to talk to anyone like that. He didn't have to question who his friend was talking to. "I didn't consider you and Sarah? Of course I didn't. Why would I? It's not like you and she considered Bastian and I did you?"

 

"That's why we tried..." She argued

 

"Save it," Lukas cut her off. "I don't want to hear it. I miss my hometown. I miss Germany. I want to go back. It's that simple. I'll spend the season in Munich and off season in cologne."

 

There were muffled voices then a sigh. From what Lukas could tell, Sarah was actually siding with him. 

 

"Fine," was all Monika said. "Sarah hadn't sent the truck yet. She can work out with Bastian how long she can keep her things there. Her and I will find a place in Cologne. She can travel out here for work as required. Let me know when you hear down thing concrete would you?"

 

"Yup," was his response. "I have the papers beside me. I'll be turning them in Monday morning. I imagine you will want to contact a lawyer?"

 

There was a groan from Monika. "Can't we just do this civilized?"

 

"We are," Lukas said simply. "I want to protect myself and make sure Louis gets what is best for him. I have witnessed enough hell when Micha got divorced. I would like to avoid that if possible. I will even pay your fees if you're concerned about that."

 

Monika went silent, obviously surprised by the gesture. Bastian gave Lukas a sad smile. That gesture didn't surprise him in the least. That's how Lukas was. Despite the fact that Monika had an affair on him and has caused a public humiliation in the process, he still loved her. She was the mother of his child and for Lukas, that was enough to do everything he could to help her. He had a good heart. Bastian realized at that moment that despite the fact that he and Sarah weren't married, they had a legal partnership. Meaning they were going to have to split assets accordingly. He sighed and grabbed his phone. He was going to have to deal with this. He sent her a quick text asking how she wanted to approach the issue and put his phone back on the table. 

 

"Thank... Thank you, Lukas." Monika stammered out. "I appreciate it. Greatly. I really do."

 

"You still have access to all the accounts," he whispered in an attempt to keep his emotions in check. "Just don't do anything crazy, alright?"

 

The sound of tears was apparent in her voice. "I wouldn't dream of it. I'm sorry Lukas."

 

"It's whatever," his voice was on the verge of breaking. 

 

"How's Louis?" 

 

Lukas sighed and ran his hand through his hair. 

 

"He's good. He's loving having Basti here. They made pancakes this morning."

 

Monika laughed. "Made them? Or wore it?"

 

"Half and half," Lukas smirked at his best friend who was rolling his eyes.  

 

* * *

 

 

Bastian heard the ding of his phone go off and quickly looked up at it. Sarah. 

 

_I don't know where to go from here_

 

Bastian looked at his best friend and sighed. He had always looked up to Lukas on  a moral standpoint. He knew Lukas would put aside his eon emotions and anger and do what he believed was right for Monika. He made a vow to care for her the rest of his life and he knew he would keep right by that. Bastian had no obligations to Sarah on a legal aspect. Germany didn't recognize common law. It was either you were legally married or it's a regular break up. He could walk away pretty much unscathed, but could he live with that?  

 

_You can keep the place in Munich, or sell it. I don't want it. As for Financials, I'll call my accountant and make sure you get the earnings, in full, that you have made over the years as well as a lump sum from me. I'll get him to figure out what you would be entitled too had we been married._

 

* * *

  


"I will make the call tomorrow," Monika said simply. "Talk to you soon? I would like to talk to Louis tomorrow if that's ok?"

 

"Come see him," Lukas said simply. "The door is open anytime. I don't want this affecting him more than it needs to."

 

"Could we take him for a few hours?"

 

"Of course." 

* * *

 

 

Bastian's phone went off again. 

 

_I couldn't ask for that. It doesn't feel right. Half of that?_

 

Bastian sighed. He knew Sarah would never agree to his original terms. She was never about the money, unlike some of the other WAGs he had come across in the past. 

 

_If that's what you want, of course. Send me your personal account information and I'll see to it that it's taken care of. But the Munich apartment is yours. I won't concede to that_

It only took her a moment to respond. 

 

_Very well. Thank you Bastian. You're a good man. I don't deserve your kindness_

 

Bastian shook his head and wrote out a reply. He had to know. It was the only way he could walk away with a clear conscious. 

 

_Does she make you happy?_

 

The reply was nearly instantaneous. 

 

_Very much so. This truly feels like it's where I belong_

 

He knew she would be honest, brutally honest. It didn't stop the pain though. It was a sense of closure, sure, but it doesn't kill the feelings. Only time could do that.

 

_Then that's all I can ask. I just want you to be happy. That's all that matters to me_

 

_Thank you, Bastian. You will find someone who will make you feel how I do. Sooner rather than later. Trust me on that_

 

That response baffled him. What was she talking about?

 

* * *

 

"How does ten sound?" Monika asked softly. "Does that work?"

 

Lukas nodded, even though he knew Monika couldn't see him. "Sounds perfect. See you then."

 

"Bye Lukas," Monika replied sweetly. "Take care of yourself, alright?"

 

"Always," he replied sadly. The reality of the situation was beginning to become clearer. "You as well. Good night."

 

Without waiting for a response, he hung up and laid his head in his hands. This was just all too much. He threw himself back on the couch and tossed his phone into a nearby laundry basket. He was wise not to just throw it aimlessly. 

 

* * *

 

 

Bastian was still staring aimlessly. What was she talking about? In his mind, he couldn't even consider being with anyone else. She still owned his heart and would likely keep it for some time. 

 

_Unlikely. I don't see myself falling for anyone anytime soon_

 

Her answer was instant. She was so sure of herself.

 

_Don't be so sure_

 

Bastian was done. Women were confusing. He laid his phone on the coffee table and laid down on the sofa, his head beside Lukas'. The two just stayed in this position, staring at the ceiling. 

 

"Do you understand women?" Bastian asked with a smirk

 

Lukas laughed and shook his head, "Oh god no. I thought I did and she ran off with your woman."

 

Bastian laughed at the irony of the situation, "Aren't we quite the pair? Even got to see the demise of our relationships at the same time."

 

"She's picking Louis up at ten tomorrow morning," said Lukas matter of factly. "This is all actually happening isn't it?"

 

Bastian turned his head to face his friend. Lukas did the same thing. Their noses touched. Their lips lingering over each other's forehead. Bastian rubbed their noses together, closing his eyes. 

 

"Yeah, I guess it is," his voice was a mere whisper.

 

With each bit of breath as Bastian spoke sent chills through Lukas. He didn't care why or any of that. He was simply enjoying the moment. They both needed this, desperately. 

 

Lukas brushed his lips against Bastian’s forehead and let his vulnerability be exposed. The boys were now fully on their sides, their noses now overlapping. 

 

"Stay with me," Lukas' voice broke as he spoke. "I need you now more than ever."

 

Bastian smiled lightly, still feeling his friend's lips against his forehead. He brushed his own lips against Lukas' forehead and kept them there as he spoke. 

 

"Always," he muttered. "We will get through this. Together."

 

No other words, were spoken between them for quite some time. The two had eventually fallen asleep. Heidi walked into the house around one in the morning and couldn't help but smile when she saw the two men in that same position as earlier. She quickly pulled out her cell phone and snapped the picture before sending it a text to Monika. 

 

_I give it less than 3 months_

 

She grabbed the throw blankets off the back of the sofa and covered the two friends. She beamed when she noticed Bastian had his hand over his head, holding Lukas'. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and quickly made her way towards her room. 

 

_Lukas is stubborn. Bastian will be less than a month. He’s already very much in love with Lukas. You’ve seen those pictures from the pitch. Lukas at least 6_

 

Heidi slid into her room, shutting the door and flipping the light on. 

 

_Lukas used Basti as a pillow last night. 20 bucks says three. For both._

 

_You’re on, Canuck._

 

* * *

 

**_6am._ **

 

Bastian groaned. His arm was killing him. He was awake, but he refused to open his eyes. He could tell it was early. His sore arm was above his head for some reason. At least that explained why it hurt so damn much. His hand through, was holding onto another. He opened his eyes, slowly. Lukas was fast asleep in front of him. Of course. They had fallen asleep like this. A smile spread across his face. Had he fallen asleep like this with any of his other team mates it would have been very strange but this was Poldi. _His_ Poldi. That somehow made it all okay. 

 

Bastian slid his arm out from over his head, letting go of Lukas' hand and carefully sat up. He stretched out his sore muscles and just sat there for a moment, staring out of the large windows looking out into the front yard. He had been so lost in thought that he didn't even notice Lukas had woken up and was now sitting beside him. 

 

"Did we fall asleep on the couch?" Lukas asked, his voice still laced with sleep. 

 

Bastian nodded. "Yeah, we did."

 

"It's a nice morning," Lukas noted as he sat beside Bastian. "Louis will be up soon. Up for a jog? We can pick up Louis' favorite breakfast sand which from that little deli just down the street a bit."

 

Bastian looked down at his clothes. He was wearing a pair of track pants and one of Lukas' painted on shirts that he had gotten for him. He glanced over at Lukas, who was dressed in pretty much the same thing. 

 

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," Bastian agreed, standing up stretching out. "Ready to be beaten?"

 

Lukas laughed as he stood up and slapped Bastian on the back of his shoulder. 

 

"Keep dreaming old man," Lukas teased as he disarmed the alarm and opened the door, pulling his runners on as he walked. 

 

He noticed Bastian staring down at the shoe in his hand. Lukas gave him a knowing look. Since Adidas did all of their athletic wear as part of their endorsements, Bastain always made a habit of having his customized. Like his football shoes, the left shoe had Sarah 's name etched into them, while the right one said the chosen one. Lukas had gotten Louis' name on the left shoe with cologne written on the right. 

 

"Guess I'm going to need new shoes huh?" 

 

"You could always just get one of those cool patches to cover it in the meantime." Lukas suggested as they walked to the gate. "Didn't bring any of the old ones? Borrow a pair of mine. You wear 44.5 don't you?"

 

Bastian nodded. "I do, but I politely decline. I don't want your freaky foot fungus."

 

With that, Bastian took off. Lukas rolled his eyes and quickly took off after Bastian laughing. It didn't take him long to catch up with him. Once they were neck and neck with one another, it became more of a competition than a friendly jog. Lukas beat Bastian by a hair and of course, he gloated. 

 

"So much for being the chosen one, old man," Lukas teased, running around Bastian with his hands up in celebration. "Want me to get you a walker?"

 

Bastian took advantage of the fact that while Lukas was being a cocky sob, his guard was down. Bastian grabbed his neck and wrestled him into a headlock. 

 

"Awe man, come on!" Lukas whined as he tried struggling out of the headlock. "I am getting your horrid pit juice on me. This is disgusting!"

 

Bastian laughed and tightened his grip on Lukas. "Say it. Who's still the chosen one?"

 

"Not you," Lukas shot back, "I saw that game. You kept falling everywhere and coming off and leaving the team short handed over a little baby cut? Old man, I am telling you!"

 

"Oh, that's it!" Bastian immediately began to use his spare hand and opted to give Lukas noogies. 

 

It was still early in the morning, and by the looks of it, other then a few store owners and old men there was no one to really pay witness to the pair's antics on the street. Lukas managed to take advantage of the fact that only one arm was holding him in the lock and pulled out of it with ease. Lukas looked mortified as Bastian continued to laugh. 

 

"I could spend the next year in the shower and not get that pit juice off me," Lukas muttered as he opened the door to the little cafe and bakery. "I am going to need intense therapy the rest of my life now. Thanks man."

 

Bastian winked at Lukas with a grin, "Anytime man. Glad I could help."

 

The boys quickly ordered their food and coffee and opted to walk back to the house out of concern of spilling Lukas' precious coffee - which was pretty much empty by the time they returned to the house. As they opened the gate, both Lukas' and Bastian's text tones went off - signalling they probably just received a group text from a team mate. Bastian was the one to reveal the mystery. He read the message and stood there, more or less in shock. He couldn't believe what he was reading. Lukas caught notice of this and looked at him, puzzled before standing beside him to read the message. 

 

_It has been an honor to play with you two, Schweinski. I am going to miss the antics you two display on and off the pitch on a daily basis. I look to you to lead this team now, Basti. I am retiring from international play. I feel as though now is the right time to do so. I will remain with FC Bayern Münich. Look forward to seeing you out there again, Poldi._

_\- Phillip_

 

"Phillip retired from the DFB?" Lukas was stunned. "I expected Miro but Phil? Geez."

 

* * *

_I'd take another chance,_

_Take a fall, take a shot for you_

_I need you like a heart needs a beat,_

_But it's nothin' new, yeah!_

_I loved you with a fire red,_

_Now it's turnin' blue_

_And you say..._

_Sorry, like an angel_

_Heaven let me think was you_

_But I'm afraid..._

_It's too late to apologize._

_\- Apologize. One Republic._

 

"Daddy!" Louis squealed as he leaped off the stool and stopped to stare at Bastian when he recognized the bag in his hand. "You got me my favorite? Thank you Onkle Basti!"

 

Bastian laughed heartily and Lukas just looked at his son with *that* look. He shook his head and without a word, went to the fridge to get himself a glass of milk. Bastian handed Louis the bag and ruffled up his hair. 

 

"Anything for you, little man."

 

"I'm not little!" Louis squealed as he took his sand which out of its bag. "I'm six! That's a big boy!"

 

"Oh really?" Bastian asked, amused as he slid onto the stool beside him. "Already a better football player than your daddy already I heard?"

 

Louis took a big bite of his breakfast and nodded happily. "Yup! He's got nothing on me."

 

Bastian burst into another fit of laughter and Lukas just leaned against the kitchen counter shaking his head in disbelief. 

 

"He's definitely your child," Heidi noted as she entered the room once again and slid past Lukas. "He can talk better scrap than you. He's been spending too much time with this one already here."

 

Heidi motioned towards Bastian and it was Lukas' turn to laugh while Bastian pretended to be offended. 

 

"You say that like I'm a bad influence on him or something." 

 

"What's an infoance?" Louis asked with curiosity. 

 

"Influence, buddy," Bastian responded. "It's when you learn how to act from certain people. Sometimes you learn good things and other times you learn very bad things."

 

"When you learn good thing that's a good infoance and when you learn bad thing it's bad?" Louis asked for confirmation. 

 

"In-flu-ence, and yes buddy." Lukas answered, "Onkle Basti is bad. Don't listen to him."

 

"Onkle Basti is the bestest!" Louis exclaimed, hugging Bastian. "Daddy no teasing! Teasing is no nice! That means you bad influence!"

 

That was it. Bastian was done. He nearly fell off the stool laughing. This kid was amazing. His dad stared at him with a mix of bewilderment and annoyance. To think he was only six scared Lukas. He was going to be interesting as he got older. Bastian gave Louis a high five and kept laughing. Lukas simply moped for getting bested by a child - his son nonetheless. 

 

The rest of the morning went on as any morning. Bastian helped Louis get ready for the day out with his mom and together, him and Louis caused mischief. Including flushing the toilet while Lukas was in the shower. That resulted in words that Louis should have never heard in his life.

 

At promptly ten, the unmistakable sound of the front door opening echoed throughout the house. The boys, however, were oblivious to it. Bastian and Louis were piled on Lukas, tickling him furiously, looking for a surrender from the striker - which he naturally refused to give even though he was beginning to hurt from laughing so much. He was practically crying as a result. Louis was quickly learning how to be ruthless in the act of tickling his father. Monika, Heidi and Sarah all stood in the doorway of the living room watching them with smiles on their faces. They were going to enjoy the precious moment while it lasted. The ladies were well aware of the awkwardness that would soon follow the realization of their arrival. 

 

It was Louis who became aware of their presence. 

 

"MOMMY!!!" Lukas screeched as he leaped off his daddy and ran full force at his mommy. "Tante Sarah! You here too?"

 

"Oh baby, I missed you so much." Monika said with tears in her eyes as she held on tightly to her son. 

 

Sarah stood tightly to Monika's side, greeting the small boy. They were both avoiding eye contact with their ex's if all was possible. 

 

The men noticed and they both had the same dagger through the heart kind of feeling. Bastian nearly fell apart right then and there. He was still kneeling on the ground just keeping his eyes glued to the floor. Lukas looked a mix between broken hearted and livid with the scene in front of him. They melded together perfectly in their own little family. _His_ family. He could stomach the sight anymore, nor could he handle the sight of his best friend. Not like this. 

 

"Heidi, would you mind taking Louis to the car and making sure he's ready to go?" Lukas asked through gritted teeth, staring Sarah down. 

 

"Mommy, are we going somewhere?" The boy was excited, oblivious to what was going on. 

 

"Sarah and I are taking you to the London Zoo today to see the animals!" Monika said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. "Why don't you go say bye to daddy? You'll see him tomorrow in the morning."

 

Louis looked confused. "Daddy isn't coming? Why not?"

 

Monika and Lukas shared a look. "He has to go practice today, sweetie. Your mommy and you have lots to talk about tonight."

 

He looked at his mom, studying her face. He knew something was wrong and that something was changing around him. The innocence of it all was being torn from him. Louis climbed off his mom and ran into his daddy's arms and started crying. This broke Lukas and brought Bastian out of his trance. He quickly got to his feet and watched on, just in case he was needed. This wasn't his moment, though. This was a father and son moment. 

 

"Mommy being gone, daddy. Now I go with mommy and you stay here," the boy sobbed. "You and mommy no happy together anymore! You going to leave us!!"

 

Tears immediately found Lukas' eyes as well as the other adults in the room. Sarah's eyes met with Bastian and for the moment there was no heart break but sheer anger. Sarah always knew that Bastian loved Louis like his own son. She knew the level of hatred he was probably feeling for her at that moment. Frankly, she couldn't blame him. Lukas held on tightly to his son, rubbing his back trying to soothe him. How on earth did he know about break ups? 

 

"No, buddy, I am not leaving you. I would never leave you." Lukas shifted Louis so that he was sitting on the front of his hip so he could look in his eyes. "You and I are together forever. Understand that? The only times you won't see daddy is when he has to be on the pitch. Like always. That won't ever change."

 

"Why you and mommy not happy anymore?" Louis asked through his sobs. 

 

Lukas shot Monika another look of sheer daggers. "Sometimes that happens with mommies and daddies, but that doesn't mean we don't love you. You will see lots and lots of both of us. I promise. Alright pal?"

 

Louis nodded sadly, seemingly understanding for the moment at least. There would be many more moments like this. He knew that without a doubt. 

 

"Promise you no leave me forever?" Louis asked gripping Lukas' neck. "I love you, daddy."

 

Tears were now streaming down Lukas' face and he tried with all his strength to keep those emotions in check. He kissed Louis' cheek and held him tightly. 

 

"I love you, too, buddy. I need to see you win the World Cup remember?" Lukas' asked, getting the boys' attention again. "I can't leave! We need to hold that cup together two more times! At least!"

 

"Basti no leave ever either?" Louis asked quietly. 

 

Bastian's hard face softened and he walked over to the boy, hugging both him and his father. 

 

"You kidding me, pal?" Bastian asked with all the excitement they shared earlier. "Who else would help me torment your daddy so much? I need my partner in crime!"

 

Louis nodded, giving his daddy another hug and kiss on the cheek before turning to Bastian and kissing him on the cheek and giving him a hug as well. He climbed off his dad and without a word he sadly followed Heidi out the front door. There was absolute silence until the distinct sound of the car door opening could be heard. 

 

"I hope you're fucking pleased with yourself," Lukas snarled through the tears he had been holding back. "Is that what you wanted!? Because congratulations. You did an excellent job!"

 

Monika flinched, but it was Sarah who spoke up. "You know this isn't what we wanted..."

 

"You shut it!" Bastian snapped, causing the other three adults to look at him startled. "You stand there, beside Monika like you're one big happy family..."

 

"We ARE a family," Sarah defended

 

"You don't get to stand in Lukas' house and act like that!" Bastian shouted. "Acting like that is only going to cause more confusion and distress for the poor boy! That happy little family of yours? It destroyed not one, but two relationships, one family and a little boy! So do NOT stand there and act all righteous because you don't get too. You two caused this! I don't want to hear your sorry or that you never meant for this to happen because it's nothing but absolute bullshit. You're not sorry. You get to be happy while the rest of us, including *their* son, is miserable. So take your appologies and everything and shove it because I'm done listening to them."

 

Silence. There was nothing that anyone knew to say. Bastian had summed up what both men had been thinking. That was how their minds worked. Bastian wondered how much of that was just his own thoughts and how much of them he shared with Lukas. Bastian stood there with that same stern look on his face, showing the girls he had no intentions of backing down. Lukas shared the same face. There would be a better time for civil conversation, however, it was clear that now was not it.

 

"I think what needs to be said has been said," Lukas said bluntly. "I'll see you tomorrow when my son and Heidi return. I trust you know your way out."

 

Monika nodded and gathered Sarah's hand in her own before skittering out the door. Once the door clicked, Lukas turned around and gave Bastian a clear 'what the fuck was that’ look. 

 

"Where the fuck did that come from?" 

 

* * *

 

 


	6. Chapter Five: We Are Unbreakable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of fluff in their time off. What visitors will they get? Just how far will things go once the alcohol starts going around?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author: chibiihealz   
> Rating: PG-13 (for now, may change)  
> Warnings: Fluff, Language  
> Pairing: Schweinski (Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski) with appearances by: Torsten/Micha  
> Language: English  
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, they're not mine.Nothing has ever happened.

**Chapter Five**  
We Are Unbreakable  
  


_These scars on my heart I own them_  
Dark days when my will was stolen  
I can bring it back  
Yeah I know it, I know it  
And I'm startingto feel again  
\- We Are Unbreakable by Hedley  
  


It was about three in the afternoon when the strait of the front door opening then closing filled the home. Lukas had finally returned to the house following his trip to city hall where he filed for divorce with the assistance of his attorney who attended with the border issues since they married in Poland. Bastian spent the day on the phone with his accountant and had finally brought that chapter of his life to an end. It was officially over between him and Sarah. Within the next forty eight hours, their finances would be properly divided in accordance to their conversation the other night. Now - Bastian could focus on his video games. Lukas heard the clear sound of the FIFA video game playing from the man cave. He grinned and jogged through the house and into the space. Without so much a word, he scooped up the second controller and joined in, knowing Bastian had started a new game just so they could play against each other.

Two matches down, they were tied. Still not a word was spoken. That was until Bastian's stomach broke the quiet.

"Even your gut is telling you that you suck, man," Lukas teased putting his controller down and pulled out his phone. "The usual?"

"You know it," Bastian replied, stretching out while Lukas ordered their pizza. "I let you win that one."

Lukas rolled his eyes and dropped his phone down on the coffee table in-between the two  gaming chairs.

"I let you win that one," Bastian said. "Let's start again."

 

Another match down. A tie. Lukas heard the door bell and raced to answer it, his stomach growling as he did so. Bastian went into the kitchen and drew out two plates, a beer for himself and a bottle of water for Lukas, setting them up on the island.

 

"Movie break?" Bastian asked as the pair worked together to serve out the pizza.

"Like always," Lukas agreed, sticking to the time honored traditions of their ways. "What we thinking tonight? Another round of dice?"

 

"Yeah, I think so," Bastian carried the plates to the living room while Lukas followed with the drinks. "We have a while until the company gets here."

Lukas lifted his head and looked at him curiously. "Company?"

Bastian beamed, "Micha and Torsten. They're in London something and when we talked I mentioned we were here and the rest is history."

"Seriously?!" Lukas perked up. "Oh man, that's awesome. I miss mommy and dad."

 

Bastian smiled at the nickname they had passed on to their old captain and his midfield partner. When they got into the squad in 2004, Bastian and Lukas had really been just that - children. It was Micha who took the pair under his wings and ran them through the transition and taught them a lot about what they know about international play.  


With Bastian's dice method, the film of the moment was destined to be the Tim Burton cult classic "A Nightmare Before Christmas". A movie the boys had watched many times together.

"You know, I love this film,"  said Lukas, taking bits if his water. "I enjoy the music, but this song... Manson does an incredible job of it. I wish they would stick it into the film."

Bastian nodded, "Well, yeah, but it loses that... Essence... There's no character. Just Manson is being kick ass. Not that it's a bad thing, but it just doesn't fit the movie itself."

"I dissent," Lukas smirked as he sat backward, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Bastian. "But when do we ever agree on anything?"

Bastian stretched out his legs into the footstool in front of them, as did Lukas and slapped Lukas' leg playfully.

"Listen to me more and this wouldn't be an issue."

 

Lukas rolled his eyes and the pair sat in silence for the remainder of the film. By the ending credits, Bastian had shifted to the recession of the couch and stretched out with his legs on the moved ottoman. Lukas had positioned himself so he was sitting along the cushion beside Bastian, but leaning back on him like a pillow while Bastian's arm rested over his shoulder.

"Aww, how cute is this?"  


The boys jumped up and practically tackled their former teammates.

"Heidi let us in," Torsten stated, handing Bastian a case of beer. "She was picking up some clothes and heading back to Monika's hotel."

 

"Here I figured you just broke in," Lukas teased. "How are you guys? Come on. Let's get into the gaming room. You guys are gonna love the new chairs I got."

"He's a kid in the candy store with this stuff still, isn't he?" Michael said with a laugh.

"Some things never change," Bastian said simply as they came in the room. "Though these are really awesome chairs."

Michael and Torsten each took to a chair and raved about them - which made Lukas very pleased. He was almost giddy as he dug out the other controllers.

"How are you guys holding in?" Torsten asked, causing the younger pair to groan

"Here comes the mommy talk," Bastian teased

"We are shitty, mom, if you must know," Lukas joined in, inducing laughter from Michael. "Our women have been doing the sexy lesbian thing for years now and never let us in on it."

Bastian spit out his beer at that remark. The entire room erupted into wild laughter.

"Did you seriously just say that, dude?" Bastian choked out

"Oh come on, like you haven't thought like that even once," Lukas said turning to Michael. "Just like Torsten. The woman in this work up."

Bastian rolled his eyes. "Says the one who uses me like a pillow constantly."

"He's got a point," Torsten joined in. "So, man points to Lukas for his comment and huge subtraction for being the pillow user!"

"Not my fault he's getting chubby in his old age." Lukas said, turning on the game without missing a beat.

"And I believe he's made those points back!" Micheal exclaimed getting a high five.

"You're still the woman," Bastian said, sticking his tongue out. "But yea. We are okay now. I know that I am at least. I got my feelings off my chest today. Made financial arrangements with Nathan, my accountant. The end has finally come. Just gotta go through the motions now. The season starts soon for me. That will be perfect for taking my mind off everything."

Torsten nodded. "You got off easy though, in a way. No messy divorce. No complicated battle in court over children and child support and all that."

"Wait, you and Petra broke up?!" Lukas exclaimed spinning in his chair. "When?!"

"When I left to play for Toronto, great city by the way, absolutely loved it," Torsten responded. "It was very clean for the most part. The kids were the tricky part but it got sorted out."

"Did you know this?" Lukas asked, looking at Bastian who nodded. "Why didn't I know this? Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"You're dumb," Bastian said simply.

"Tor, seriously though, why?" Lukas asked as the older pair shared looks.

"Well... She was a respectable woman. Amazing mother, incredible wife. She met someone and I agreed that it was fair to let her go and be with him." Torsten responded with a smile.

"She cheated?!" Bastian exclaimed. "But... There's no way."

 

Torsten stared at Michael for a moment, almost as though they were having a private conversation before turning his attention to their newly crowned champions.

"She didn't cheat," he excused. "Our marriage was open. I was free to have my hidden relationship and she held her own. It's a time honored tradition in football."

"Since when?" Lukas asked, not even bothering with the game anymore. "And why would you do that? You shared all the games with her. Wouldn't you want to share that with the person you love?"

“I did," Torsten answered, smiling at Michael.  


Bastian put the puzzle together. Quickly. He looked at the pair for a moment before his eyes widened.

"No way..." Bastian thought out loud, then began laughing. "I knew it! I fucking knew it all along!! I called it Lukas! I so called it!"

Michael and Torsten laughed. They recognized these were two squad mates who would never pass judgment on them.

"Called what?" Lukas was confused.

"Micha and Torsten, they're together! As in a couple. As in Gay." Bastian said spelling it out for Lukas, who gazed in shock.

It was three minutes before Lukas unfroze from the shock.

"Your wives... They knew?" Asked Lukas

"Yes," Michael answered. "It's common in football. It is more common than you can imagine. It's like a tradition or something."

"There's no guys..." Lukas started

"Yes there is," was Michaels response. "At least three couples. Possibly more. Not are all gay of course. The bulk of them are technically bisexual but have real relationships with teammates."

"On DFB, right now?" Bastian asked, genuinely curious.

"I know of three for sure," Michael stated, "and then there's one I am just wondering how long it's gonna take for them to realize they got something going on."  
  
"Who are couples?" Asked Lukas

Torsten gave Lukas a stern expression. "You know We can't tell you that. It's not right to out anybody."

They nodded slowly. Processing what was being distinguished to them.

"Are you two living together now?" Asked Bastian.

The two men smiled at each other and chuckled. You could practically see the love radiating off of them. It warmed Bastian's heart to see. He loved these guys like true father figures. It was wonderful to see them so happy. He glowed at the two men and gave them a beer as Torsten replied.

"We are. We aren't really trying to conceal it any longer," Torsten said opening his beer. "Just no one has made the discovery. Bild has they're hands full these days with the current squad. Gaining a World Cup - so much more interesting."

"I'm envious," Michael stated, getting a gulp of his beer. "I'm not going to lie. How does it feel?"

Bastian and Lukas beamed at one another. Lukas once again found himself out of his bubble and the giddiness was back on a high.

"It is amazing!" Lukas exclaimed. "This man is a beast. I swear."

Bastian rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Chosen one, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah king of the ego," Lukas said rolling his eyes. "I swear. I was expecting you to have to start running with an IV stand behind you or something. That's if you didn't kill the ref after you took the shot to the eye."

"Yes, we saw that," Torsten noted. "I was in the audience while Micha was working with ESPN on the game. I saw Lukas' reaction to that shot. Jogi had to keep you from running out there."

"Reminded me of that red card," Michael laughed as he thought of the instant. "The look on your face Basti when that card went up and then _both_ of you pretty much jumped on that poor ref."

The guys all laughed at the memory. Lukas loved these moments.

"As awesome as that was, and it really was, the best ever moment with you two was easily Torsten sat up a little straighter in an attempt to be a little more comedic. When he spoke again, he did so in a voice that mocked Lukas. "I just won the World Cup, but first, let me take a selfie!"

Laughter broke out again, this time considerably louder. Lukas got jabbed in the side from Torsten and Micha as Bastian snickered. He missed these guys so much. Slowly, he remembered how many get together, he missed out on because he knew how Monika felt about them. Truth be told, Sarah seemingly was the same way and god forbid asking them to go. They hated most of these guys. Most of the WAGs hated large get together. They were always okay with them at first until they spent more than a few hours with them all. It was understandable he supposed. They were rude, obnoxious and depending on the group, horrid perverts. Especially once alcohol started running round.

 

Alcohol. That was definitely running around at the minute. Torsten had downed three in the last few hours while Bastian had downed at least ten. Michael preferred to run easy and was on his second one and Lukas... Well Lukas was nursing his water. Oddly enough, he was doing the best at the game.

Bastian on the other hand...

"Jackass," Bastian said, glaring at Lukas as he downed his beer and reached for another. "Yous cheatin."

Lukas laughed at Bastian's mannerisms as he talked.

"Oh yeah, that's it," he baited. "I am telepathically taking over your head so you'll drink yourself into a stupor and fail at FIFA."

Bastian looked at him in disbelief and shock. He grabbed Michaels shirt and half shook him.

"Daaaaad," Bastian whined. "Lukas takes over my brains. Make me drunk."

Michael gently patted him on the back. "No, I'm reasonably sure that's all you, Bavarian."

"Bavarian," Bastian pondered momentarily before looking at Torsten thoughtfully. "Wonder if I was a Viking."

Laughter filled the room. Torsten ruffled the midfielder’s hair with a grin.

"You certainly played like one."

 

Bastian beamed at Torsten then spun in his chair to look at Lukas, who was in the process of playing a one on one with Michael. He practically leaped off the chair and onto Lukas' lap.

"What the hell?!" Lukas exclaimed in shock

Bastian put his forehead against Lukas' and stared into his eyes, rendering him unable to play. Michael was heard cheering behind them. Lukas looked from the corner of his eye as Michael mock celebrated and went to glare at Bastian but soon found himself unable to speak when his own baby blues fell victim to Bastian's. His heart rate sped up. His breathing became heavy and labored. He paused and swallowed hard. He didn't have a clue why it was he felt like this. There was something in Bastian's eyes that he had never actually considered before. He had seen glimmers of it a few times. In those moments that were dear to them. Only now... It was vivid. _Love._ This moment did not pass unnoticed by the twosome in the room. Michael stopped his gloating and knelt down beside his boyfriends chair.

 

"Remind you of anything?" Michael asked, reminiscing on their maiden World Cup.

"2002. It was after our win against the USA," Torsten said with a smile, leaving back in the chair. "You were so intoxicated. Did that exact thing. Kissed me something fierce. Scared the shit out of me."

"I know I did," Michael said, watching the younger pair who had not moved from their transfixed position. Bastian was now caressing Lukas' cheek. "But if I call correctly, you and Kahn had a small talk and when it was only you and me left in the locker room after training, you pretty much attacked my lips."

Bastian was slowly working his thumb down Lukas' face, admiring his hard jaw line and intense gaze. He always loved that stare.

Lukas was confused by the whole scenario. He knew his friend was drunk. They had been in similar positions before, but never quite like this and he had never felt like it did at that moment. He wasn't attracted to other men! He had never been. But why did he want to... kiss Bastian so damn much? Those flashing eyes, those pouting lips. It was all just too much for him in that moment. He felt drunk himself, despite not touching a drop. When he felt Bastian's thumb on his cheek, he had lost his mind. His conscious betrayed him as he bit his lip and lifting his head ever so slightly.

Bastian noticed that look in Lukas' eyes. It was full of love... Full of want... Even if it was laced with confusion. He didn't understand what was happening in that moment either. Was it the alcohol or was it just giving him confidence to do the things he wouldn't dare to do sober? He didn't know, but that second Lukas bit his lip and raised his chin just so slightly then that their mouths were only centimeters away from touching, Bastian melted. He shut his eyes and slowly allowed his lips to fall onto Lukas' in the most tender of ways.

Lukas' eyes widened at first. Bastian was _kissing_ him. It felt so wrong but oh so right at the same time. He wasn't gay and his mind was screaming at him to remember that. He was a devout Catholic. He was supportive in his own way of same sex relationships and while he was weary of Michael and Torsten's love, he was behind them 100%. But himself? No, no no. It was all so very wrong. But for right now... He didn't care.

Bastian left his lips just sitting there. Not moving at all. Just touching him. He ran his thumb out and cupped Lukas' cheek. He squeezed into the kiss more.

Lukas was so torn. As Bastian pressed their lips together even more, part of Lukas wanted to run screaming while the other just wanted to understand what it felt like to kiss his best ally. It was unlikely that Bastian would remember this, right? There wouldn't be any awkwardness; or would there be? Lukas shut his mind off. The desperation in Bastian's emotions was too much for Lukas. He ran his hand through the back of Bastian's hair and kissed him back. Fully and without thought.

The kiss was electric. It was unlike anything Lukas had felt before. Fireworks exploded in his head and his emotions and his body came alive in ways he didn't realize. He wasn't aroused by any means, but every inch of his mind and soul wanted more.

Bastian was willing to give more. His every ounce of passion was in this kiss. Kissing Sarah a few days ago had felt wrong in so many ways. It had felt wrong for a while, but kissing Lukas? It was like it was how it was meant to he all along. Nothing had ever felt so right. Bastian took a risk and extended his tongue along Lukas' lips, begging for entrance.

 

Torsten and Michael beamed at one another before sliding away from the chairs silently. This moment was far too precious to barge in on. This was their moment to be lost in one another. They slid away to the kitchen where they disposed of what garbage they could carry away with them quietly.

"Lukas is going to be in quite the state of confusion when this is all said and done," Michael noted. "Let me do the talking there?"

Torsten nodded wrapping his arms around Michael from behind and lay his head on his shoulder after placing a tender kiss on his neck. "It would mean more coming from you. Bastian knows what he's doing. He conceded to me back in the day that he was having dreams about Lukas."

Michael raised an eyebrow curiously. "I knew about the feelings, not about the dreams. Bastian broke down in 2006 after a training session. Stated he was in love with his best friend and didn't know what to do."

"What did you tell him them?" Torsten asked genuinely curious.

"To listen to his heart. Told him that if his heart says to make a move than to go for it."

"Did he?" Torsten asked

"No."

There was commotion in the other room and it didn't sound good.

 

That was the moment Lukas came crashing back to reality. Pulled out of his daze as he felt Bastian's tongue along his lips. His eyes shot open and he managed to pull away from the embrace. Bastian looked ashamed and almost hurt. Bastian quickly pulled away from Lukas, stumbling as he removed himself from the lap he had been sitting on.

"I am-" Bastian started as he made his way towards the door, tripping over an ottoman on the way.

Lukas leaped up from his chair and gave his friend assistance in getting up from the floor. Bastian looked to at Lukas with a face that was full of absolute rejection. This hurts Lukas. He didn't want to upset his friend, but he was just immensely confused about what the hell took place.

"Come on, Basti," Lukas' voice was soft and nurturing. "Let's get you to bed alright? You can lie down in my bed and watch Troy."

Bastian nodded slowly. He felt Torsten's arms around him and was being assisted to Lukas' room. At least his best friend didn't completely hate him. What had he been thinking doing something so careless?! He was drunk. Lukas was going to be sure that it wasn't genuine. Was it even real? Bastian wasn't sure. Perhaps it was the booze talking with the loneliness and fresh sting of Sarah's betrayal. What if it wasn't? What if everything that he had done had meant something?

The two men laid Bastian down on the bed. A feat they had done a few times in the past when the Bavarian got carried away. Michael followed behind them with a glass of water and two Advil. Once situated in the bed, Lukas hurried to put Troy on the DVD player and without so much another word to Bastian, he took off into the other room. Michael handed off water and Advil to Torsten and followed Lukas out.

"He hates me," Bastian said sadly as he took the medication and slowly drank the water.

"No, I don't believe so," Torsten said reassuringly. "He brought you into his room and put in your favorite movie. He's mixed up if anything. Not angry."

Bastian looked up at Torsten with pleading eyes. "Will this ruin everything?"

Torsten gave the younger man a sympathetic expression.

"No. You and Lukas are stronger than that," Torsten said matter of factly. "Why did you kiss him? Those feelings come back?"

Bastian's eyes widened. He had completely forgotten about that. In his drizzled mind, he had forgotten about the love and passion he held for Lukas even before Sarah got into the delineation. It was easy to dismiss them when Sarah was around. She was a great distraction and he had fallen in love with her. But had those feelings he hid all those years ago come back?

"I.. I don't know..."

It was perfectly true. He didn't know much of anything at that moment.

 

\---

_Shipwrecked by a sea so stormy_  
I'm lost but I'm never lonely  
I can see it now  
That you are my way out  
I was drifting on the ocean tide  
Out of hope when I saw your light  
You can bring me back  
Yeah I know it, I know it  
\- Hedley

 

Lukas tore through the back sliding doors and found himself pacing around the rear yard. He had just kissed his best friend. Certainly, a drunk Bastian initiated it, but he did naught to cease it and in fact, he kissed him back. He kissed another guy.

"You alright there, bud?" Michael asked as he walked onto the deck

Lukas froze and stared at his old captain. "I don't know, I don't know anything. I kissed Bastian, Micha. I fucking full out kissed my best friend!"

Michael nodded, "I know. How do you feel?"

"Confused. Everything about it felt so wrong." Lukas' pace picked up. He was having a real internal power struggle. "I'm straight, man. I've never had feelings for a guy _ever._ It's certainly not how I was raised. It's not who I am simply that it..."

"Just felt right?" Michael finished for Lukas as he sat on the steps leading to the grass

Lukas kicked the football as hard as he could, sending it crashing into the back of the net. He stood there for a moment, breathing heavily.

"No, yes... I don't know." Lukas kicked another football before becoming frustrated and sat down beside Michael. "It's all... I don't know. I think it's simply because we are lonely right now."

Michael raised an eyebrow, "is that what you believe it is?"

Lukas shrugged, "I... I don't know."

"I can't tell you how to feel, because no one knows that but you," Michael said simply. "I can't tell you that in matters like this just shut off your mind. Your mind will be your worst enemy. Maybe you guys are just lonely, but have just lonely ever made you kiss a friend like that?"

Lukas ran his hands through his hair, then leaned his elbows on his knees. "Never. When we were that close... I can't describe it. It wasn't like anything I ever felt with Monika and when we kissed..."

"Did it feel weird?"

"Yes and no. Yes in the sense that I was kissing my best friend. No in the sense that it just seemed so right," Lukas looked at Micheal and shook his head. "But it all felt so wrong. I can't do that sort of stuff with a man!"

Michael completely understood. He was a catholic like Lukas was. He understood the struggle the boy was going through. He had been in that exact same situation once.

"You know, when Torsten and I first started it was a whirlwind. During the 2002 World Cup we were just... So happy," Michael stated with a grin as the memories played back in his head. "It wasn't until after that it all got more substantial. Scarier for me. I ended things and I hid for so long because I thought that even though it was so right and so perfect that it was so very wrong. That it's a sin. That's why I married her. I thought the longer I ran from it that it would just go away but... It didn't. We constantly found out way back to each other."

"Bastian and I aren't like that."

"Maybe you are and maybe you aren't but shut that mind out," Micheal said poking at Lukas' head. "Shut it off and just let fate take you wherever you may."

Lukas paused for a second, conveying in his former captain's words. He gazed out into yard before he eventually interrupted the quiet.

"When you see Basti and I together, what do you see?" Lukas knew that sometimes you need an outsiders perspective to what you would usually be blind too. The outside looking in theory.

 

Michael sighed and offered the player he often referred to as a son a smile.

"Need a fatherly perspective, huh?" Michael teased, playfully shoving him

Lukas rolled his eyes and glared, "I'm being serious!"

Michael rubbed Lukas' hair playfully. "I know, I know. What do I see now? I watch two young guys who have been mad about one another for a long time. Despite the fact that one of you became more serious and calculated and one remained the jokester, the fact that you're even able to be how you've always been together saying something. Off the pitch, away from the pressure you two are very clearly crazy about each other. Now, whether the love between you guys is like brothers or lovers... Well, I think both of you know where you stand."

Lukas took a moment to think about what Michael had just said. He knew that Bastian and himself were more friends. A lot more. But to what extent? Brothers? Even more than that?

"Poldi, my advice is simple," Michael said, wrapping an arm round his shoulder. "Don't think. Just let time do what it feels it should and above all else, follow your heart."

 

\---

_I follow my heart through it all_  
Holding on to you  
Together we'll never fall  
'cause we are unbreakable  
\- Hedley

 

**Later that night.**

 

Bastian was fast asleep by the time Lukas came into the room. Michael and Torsten had stayed a few more hours with Lukas to keep him company. Lukas glanced at the clock on his night stand. 1:05am. He was exhausted. He peeked over at the bed where Bastian laid. He was on his back with one arm dangling off the bed and the other on his chest. Lukas smirked and stripped down to his underwear. He walked over to the television and shut it off. He sat on the bed and stared out the window at the moon. The faint glow it poured into the room was eerily peaceful. He glanced beside him at his best friend and couldn't help but grin. He climbed under the blankets and at first laid on his side. Moments passed and he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep like this. Bastian's heat radiating under the blankets called to him like a seductive siren song. Lukas tried to fight the pull, but when Bastian stretched out and laid his arm out over the top of the pillows, Lukas caved. Even asleep, Bastian was attuned to his opinions and was welcoming him into those arms. Lukas took a deep breath and slowly turned onto his other side and slipped into Bastian's arms, resting his head on his favorite spot on Bastian's chest. Bastian instinctively wrapped his arm around Lukas, shielding him from the world. Lukas just smiled. It wasn't long before sleep pulled him in, which Lukas was grateful for. He didn't have a chance to hear his mind shout its complaints. He was able to give into what his heart wanted. All his heart wanted was to be as close to Bastian as possible.

 

\---

**Next Morning.**

 

There was no sun pouring into the bedroom this morning. Instead, Bastian was awoken to the distinctive sound of thunder and the peaceful serenity of a rainfall. He woke up with a mild hangover, which was expected. He also woke up on his back with Lukas nestled into his arms. Bastian was in a temporary stars of bliss. Sadly, that feeling was short lived.

Memories of the previous evening came flooding back. He gasped and cringed. He can't believe he would do something like kiss Lukas like that. It was most careless. The memory kept repeating - stopping the instant his lips touched Lukas' and repeating. He didn't understand why Lukas would be nevertheless be willing to sleep with him like this. That was when the memory played in total. Bastian's eyes widened as he remembered Lukas kissing him back, just pulling back when he had tried to French kiss him. The Bavarian was at a loss for words. He really had no clue what was going on. Hadn't he buried these feelings all those years ago?

Lukas' arm around Bastian tightened as he began to stir. Bastian couldn't suppress the smile that spread across his face. There was no telling how things would be once he woke up so for now - he was going to enjoy this.

Lukas wanted to be anything but awake. Being awake meant he would finally be pulled off from the warmth of Bastian's arms and be forced to dole out with reality. This little bubble was so much better than anything out there. He fastened his grip around Bastian, needing the warmth just a little longer.

"Schweini..."

Instinctively, Bastian kissed the top of Lukas' head.

"Mornin' Luki," Bastian whispered into his hair

"I don't want to get up," Poldi said sleepily covering his head with the blanket.

"When does Louis get home?"

"Eleven."

Bastian smiled and wrapped his second arm around Lukas and leaned his head against Lukas'.

Bastian glanced beside them at the clock, "it's eight now. Movie?"

Lukas smiled against Bastian's chest as he heard the television turn on. He adjusted the blanket so just his face peaked out enough to see the movie Bastian chose to turn on. The Dark Knight, which was one of their favorites. Both boys reluctantly climbed out of the bed to use the washroom and Lukas smuggled a bag of chips into the bed.

"No living on them anymore," Bastian said with a smirk as he got comfortable on the bed. Lukas sat against him with the crown of his head against Bastian's chin.

The film was mostly passed in quiet. The men simply enjoyed the company present and the motion picture.

 

Half way through the film, Lukas' phone rang. Bastian reached over and grabbed Lukas' phone from the side board. It was Ali. Lukas quickly swiped his phone and took the call as Bastian paused the movie.

"Good morning, champ!" Ali said in his usual upbeat tone. "The chief wanted me to update you on what's going on over here with possible transfers and all that."

Lukas sat up, pulling away from Bastian and swung his feet over the edge of the bed. "He calls me with good news. You usually don't deliver good news."

Ali laughed, "I have both good news and bad news. The good news is that Bayern is salivating at the possibility of having you and Schweini back together. They are putting up a very lucrative trade that you will surely love."

Lukas’ heart dropped. He already knew the bad news without being told it. Arsenal was going to fight back.

"Bad news, arsenal, naturally, wants to keep you," Ali said, causing Lukas to run his hand through his hair. Bastian came up behind him and enfolded his arms round him, laying a soft kiss on his shoulder. "They offered a better deal, however, I declined it on the spot. They're being stubborn when it comes to transfer fees. Granted, they will allow it, but it might happen later rather than sooner. But take my word, you will be transferred by the summer deadline."

"And I'm expected back to practice..."

"Monday morning, 6am."

Lukas groaned and let himself lean back into Bastian's arms. "Thanks Ali. Keep in touch."

 

Lukas laid his phone on the night stand with a little more force than he realized. Not that he cared very much. He was sorely disappointed. He would have to train and potentially play for a team he wanted off of. He wanted to be back home.

"Rejected?" Bastian asked, his voice low as he reposed his head on Lukas' shoulder

Lukas shook his head, "No. No, of course not. Bayern wants me bad. Arsenal is being a wall."

Bastian nodded, holding Lukas closer. "Does he think..."

 

Lukas nodded and kissed Bastian's hand, interrupting him mid sentence. "He knows I'll be on my way to you by the summer deadline at the end of August."

Bastian pouted, he couldn't help it. He knew that this meant Lukas and he would likely spend a few weeks apart. He didn't like it at all, simply if it was what was required to be done and as long as he ended up in Bayern Munich then it was worth it.

Lukas turned his head so that he was facing Bastian. The look in their eyes mirrored one another. They didn't want to be separated. Lukas couldn't help but stare at Bastian's lips, wondering if they still tasted as good as they had. He slowly went towards him - it was in that moment, Bastian's phone went off. Numerous times, too.

Bastian cursed and grabbed his phone. Manuel Was spamming his phone with the message to turn on the news. Bayern Munich was holding a news conference. Bastian immediately grabbed the remote and turned the news on.

The headline was enough to shock both men.

**Pep Guardiola out; Torsten Frings in.**

 

"I smell a scandal." said Bastian with a grin.

 

That was all either man could say as they watched their good friend, the man they jokingly called mom take the spot as Manager of FC Bayern Münich.

 

\----

_Sorry I know - slightly unrealistic and I know Torsten is coaching for the youth squad at Werder Bremen. I am from Toronto and I loved Torsten in Germany, but fell for him even more when he was playing for TFC. I got to meet him. Sweet guy. Adore him. I also adore Micha. I had to give them more permanent spots in the story. Plus, I dislike Pep._


	7. Chapter Six: Choose Your Battles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go from good to horrible in a matter of days for Schweinski. Simple words can seemingly destroy everything. Sometimes once they're said, they can never be taken back and that pain can never be erased. What's done is done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: My Sacrifice  
> Author: chibiihealz   
> Rating: M  
> Warnings: Fluff, sexual acts, language  
> Pairing: Schweinski (Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski) *MAIN* / Sarah Brandner & Monika Podolski / Michael Ballack and Torsten Frings  
> Language: English  
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, they're not mine.Nothing has ever happened.  
> WARNING: I had to change the rating to Mature!!! Don't read THAT part if you don't want too... simple skip.

**Chapter Six.  
Choose Your Battles**

 

_Why you tryna make me your enemy_  
All you really need is a little peace  
I just wanna be your lover  
Oh, this is not a competition  
So baby why the ammunition  
I don't wanna be the last one standing  
\- Katy Perry “Choose Your Battles”

 

Following the breaking of the news regarding management changes at Bayern Münich, things got a little crazy for the boys. Bastian was flooded with calls from various media outlets looking for a statement. Most of which he warded off. Him and Lukas did their best to just distract themselves by spending time with Louis. Each night the two men would fall into a peaceful slumber as they always did. Together, wrapped up in each other's arms. There had been no further kisses since that night.

It was Sunday. Bastian was expected to be on a plane at eleven to head back to Munich and the craziness there while Lukas was expected along the pitch Monday morning. After a tearful goodbye from his son, Lukas found comfort in Bastian's arms. It wasn't long before the two of them lost themselves in a heated kiss.

Lukas was pressed up against the door leading outside, his hands locked in Bastian's hair while Bastian's hands caressed Lukas' face and roamed his back and sides. The boys have been on cloud nine yet at the same time, confusion was evident. Bastian was welcoming of this change after suppressing his feelings for so long while he was with Sarah, and even before that when he knew it was just wrong. Lukas on the other hand, knew it was wrong in so many ways. He loved his best friend, sure, but to this level? He couldn't possibly. What would his family think? What would happen if the media found out. Kissing Bastian was as natural for him as was being on the pitch. But it was *wrong*. He wasn't gay. He wasn't like Monika. He was a man of morals and good catholic values. He couldn't do this. No, he couldn't be a victim to his emotions.

Lukas reluctantly pulled away from the kiss and push passed Bastian, not daring to look at a now confused Bastian. Bastian didn't dare turn around either. He had known at some point this was going to happen.  He has been careful not to push Lukas beyond regular, tongue free kisses. What the hell had happened?

"Luki..." Bastian whispered, leaning his head against the door.

"We can't be doing this stuff," Lukas said simply.

Bastian spun around with a bewildered expression on his face. "This _stuff_?"

 

Lukas ran a hand through his hair and kicked his football duffel bag as he made his way into the living room. He still refused to look at his best friend, knowing what look would be on his face if he did.

"I'm not Gay, Bastian," Bastian flinched at the tone of Lukas' voice and the fact that he used his entire name. "We aren't Micha and Torsten. I have a son. With a woman..."

Bastian followed Lukas into the living room, "don't you think I've noticed that? You think I'm gay or something? I'm not! I have never had feelings for any man, but you! You think I understand any of it because I don't?"

Lukas' voice dropped. "It's improper. The feelings, the cuddling like we do... Especially the kissing. None of this is right or rational. It just has to stop. It's just wrong. So very wrong."

Bastian was at a loss for words. Where had this come from? Things had been fine and now… this.

"I haven't seen you fight it once," Bastian remarked. "You know that whatever this is feels natural..."

"No!" Lukas shouted, whirling around to confront his friend with a look on his face Bastian couldn't describe. Almost a mix between hurt, self hate and confusion. " _Nothing_ about this is natural."

Bastian shook his head in disbelief, "So the last few days have been a mistake? Is that it?"

Lukas paused and swallowed hard. He should have anticipated that question. Should have seen it coming, really. He could have prepared for it mentally. There was no way he could do this easily. It was going to be hell for him and he knew he would regret it.

"Having you here? Spending time with you? No. The sleeping together, the cuddling and the kissing..."Lukas said, fighting back the tears he knew were starting to come. There was no backing out now. "Yes."

Bastian felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him. He had expected a lot of things, but there was nothing that could have prepared him for that. The pain of Sarah breaking his heart paled in comparison to what he was feeling at the minute.

"You don't mean that." Bastian said, his voice breaking. His whole world threatening to close in on him at any moment. "Think it's wrong, all right. Say you are disgusted and don't want to do anything like it again but do not say you regret it."

Lukas scoffed at that. "It's wrong. I am sickened with myself and no, I will never speak of it again because it will never ever take place again."

Bastian sighed in relief. In a way, he could have that. He expected it, but could never live with Lukas regretting it.

"And yes, I do regret it," Lukas finished, looking Bastian dead in the eyes. "I'm sorry, but I do."

Bastian couldn't stand there any longer. Without some other word, he twisted around and steered into the bedroom the boys had shared over the last few days. He gathered up his bags and headed towards the door. He couldn't stick around at that place any longer. He couldn't... No, he wouldn't fall apart in front of Lukas. Lukas noticed Bastian on the threshold with his bag and looked panicked. He knew Bastian didn't have to leave for his flight for quite a few more hours, so what was he doing? He couldn't leave like this.

"Basti..." Lukas whispered, immediately regretting everything he said to Bastian. He hadn't meant any of it.

Bastian stopped in his tracks and whirled round, absolute anguish in his expression. "Don't. Just don't. You made it very clear. I could have handled your rejection. I expected it to happen. Hell, Lukas I don't even know what _I_ want from this. But fuck, I cannot live with you regretting it."

"Your plane..."

"I have somewhere I need to go anyway," Bastian said as he flung his bag over his shoulder and walked out the door towards his rental car. He threw the bag into the front seat beside him and stopped before he got in. He clinched his fists and spun round. "Call off your interest in Bayern Munich. There's no point in us playing together if you regret so much of what has made us _us_ these past few years. Good luck with everything, Luki. I'll see you in September."

With that, Bastian got into the car and Lukas watched his best... Or was it his former best friend now? No. There's no way. Bastian is just hurt. He would never throw away their friendship like this would he? Or was it him that caused the end? Lukas sunk down onto the steps and let the tears come. He grabbed his phone and sent a quick text. He needed someone and he needed them now.

  
_Are  you still in London?_

A few seconds passed before his message went answered.

_Yeah, Torsten wanted to deal with things on his own in Munich. I'm covering something's here before heading to Munich. Why? What's wrong?_

Lukas tried to regulate his breathing as he wrote his response.

_I told Basti I regretted everything. He's gone now_

The reply came immediately.

_I'll be there in fifteen minutes_

 

Lukas was about to send a text message to Bastian, begging him to come back and talk things out. Save their friendship. Before he could set about it, the phone dinged. It was from Bastian. Lukas quickly opened it up. His heart stopped and a choked sob broke through. He had destroyed everything.

_  
I could have lived with you and me forgetting this past week had never passed and just gone back to being the way we have always been. It would have hurt, but I could have lived with it. But knowing you regret it… I cannot live with that. I can’t and I am sorry. The past ten years have been the best of my lifetime. I will forever cherish them. Goodbye Lukas._

 

* * *

 

_I've tried to pick off your red flags_  
But dancing on broken glass  
Your mind games hit like grenades  
We're cursed just like the Kennedys  
But you somehow get me on my knees,  
Defeated, now retreating  
\- Katy Perry.

 

Bastian sped through the streets of London lost in a haze of tears and emotions. He never guessed he would be without Lukas. How could Lukas be so brutal? He regretted the moments that he knew made them both feel like they were on cloud nine. Moments he will treasure for the remainder of his lifetime. He knew he loved Lukas. There was certainly no denying that. Only how could their friendship ever be the same now? Bastian was stopped at a light when he quickly sent his final goodbye to Lukas. He just couldn't do it anymore. He simply couldn't pretend. Not anymore.

He threw his phone aside and continued on down the street. He had been in London enough times to know where the hotel he was looking for was. He pulled into the parking lot and immediately went in search of the person he was looking for. It didn't take long at all, thankfully. The woman at the desk appeared to claim compassion on him. He got into the elevator and found himself falling apart. The elevator got to the sixteenth floor and he took off down the hall. He went to the door and practically slammed the door down. Within seconds, Monika answered the door. She took one look at Bastian and her heart broke for him. He really looked like hell. Like he had been run into by a truck repeatedly.

"Sarah!" She shouted with a sensation of urgency as she preceded him into the room.

She had been grateful that at that moment Heidi had taken Louis to the park with one of his friends whose father played at Arsenal as well. Monika sat Bastian on the couch  and hurried into the kitchenette for a glass of water. Sarah came into the kitchenette with a smile as she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, oblivious that her ex was in the living room.

"Not now," Monika said in a hushed tone as she hurried back to the living room.

Sarah's eyes widened at the sight of Bastian. This wasn't because of their separation. It wouldn't have affected him like this still and he sure as hell wouldn't come here to them. Especially in their exchange a few days ago. Monika handed Bastian the glass and pressed him to drink some as she and Sarah sat on the coffee table across from him.

"Sorry..." Bastian's voice was just a whisper. "I didn't know where else to go."

Monika shook her head and took the glass from the midfielder. "It's no worries, Bastian. What is wrong? What happened?"

Bastian was like a zombie. He was stuck in auto pilot. His glazed eyes were void of any emotion. It was as though any essence of his psyche had been torn from him.

"Lukas..." He whispered slowly, no tears falling from the emotionless eyes. "It's over."

Sarah looked puzzled. "Over? Your friendship?"

He nodded and the girl's eyes widened in disbelief. This wasn't possible. Those two were partners in crime! Stuck in his hip for life. The best of friends. It was Monika who broke the shocked silence.

"What happened?"

Bastian shook his head. "Perfect. It was perfect. We were... Happy. We would sleep in each other's arms, cuddle watching movies.... We *kissed*."

The girls nodded, none of this coming as a surprise. Monika, knowing Lukas as well as she did, understood clearly what had happened. Lukas was a man of morals. He was devoted to his faith. Starting a divorce was more than enough when it came to operating against his faith. This was something that was beyond wrong. It was the purest form of sin in his eyes.

"He let his emotions run wild. He gave into his heart without much thought. Then, at some point, his mind took over and his sense of faith overcame him," Monika explained. "He did it more than once with our premarital sex like."

Bastian looked at her disgustedly. Monika chuckled slightly, happy that Bastian was still somewhat capable of feeling, emotion, even if most were dead at the moment.

"How do you think Louis got here?" She inquired with a grin

"Cabbage patch," Bastian replied, not missing a beat.

Both girls laughed at that. Monika rolled her eyes, "I don't understand though. When it comes to the LGBT community, Lukas is incredibly tolerable. I don't.."

"Regret." Was all Bastian could say as he seemingly stared off into distance.

Monika's eyes widened in disbelief while Sarah slid off the table and wrapped her arms about her ex beau.

"He said he regretted it?" Sarah asked in a soothing voice.

Bastian nodded and in that instant, the numbness faded and all emotion hit him. Hard. He broke down, laying his head on Monika's lap. Monika sat there, rubbing his head slowly as Sarah rubbed his back. The girls were simply trying to offer the broken man some support. Once he was calmed down enough, Sarah took cues from Monika and quickly retrieved Monika's cell phone from the bed. She went to send a text message when she noticed she had one waiting from none other than Michael Ballack.

_I’m on my way to Poldi. You take care of Schweini. I'll call tonight to discuss matters_

Monika wasn't surprised by this. Lukas hadn't attempted to reach her about this. She knew the only person he would trust enough was Micha. She wondered exactly how much he knew. Probably all of it really. Content with not having to lecture her soon to be ex-husband, she focused back on the man who was sobbing into her lap.

 

* * *

  
_Choose your battles, babe_  
Then you'll win the war  
Stop digging your own grave  
When there's so much to live for  
Choose your battles, babe  
Cause I'm not fighting anymore  
I am not fighting anymore  


"I made a huge mistake," Lukas said the second Michael appeared beside his car. "I told him I regretted everything that took place the past few days. He walked out on me.  He was devastated and told me goodbye. I ruined everything."

Michael wrapped his arms about the obviously upset striker. "Let's go inside, shall we?"

Always the picture of poise and grace, Michael led Lukas inside and into the living room. He left the room for a moment and returned with two bottles of water. He gave one to Lukas and sat down beside him on the couch.

"What happened?"

Lukas sighed and flung off his aha hat. "You know what happened the other night, I mean you were here."

Michael nodded with a grin on his face. "I recall quite well. I too recall walking in here and you two were cuddling."

Lukas nodded slowly. "Right. That's how we have been all this week. The cuddling. Even sharing my bed. I haven't slept with my actual pillow once. It's always been him and it was outstanding. We just hadn't kissed since that night. Until today and I don't know- I lost it. I was lost in it at first. It was amazing, but..."

"You started thinking," Michael analyzed. "Which led to you shutting down almost everything."

"Right and I told him everything he expected to hear. That I was grossed out and never desired to do anything of the kind again. It was fine until I went to far," Lukas explained, the self hatred apparent. "I told him I regretted everything that went on this week."

Michael paused, taking a sip of water. He was coming into the idiosyncrasies of his old captain role once again. It was almost second nature to him now.

"How much of it did you mean?"

Lukas was now resting along his back, gazing at the ceiling with misty eyes. "Frankly? Not one word, I... I don't know why I did it all. I was so horrible to him. I deserve what he said."

"Which was?" Michael asked in a tone that made Lukas wonder if he was a friend or a psychiatrist.

"To call off my pursuit in transferring to Bayern."

Michael laughed despite himself. Lukas sat up on his elbows and gave Michael a death glare.

"Okay," Michael said with a sympathetic look. "Are you in love with him?"

Lukas pondered that for a moment. He loved Bastian. He always has. To what extent, though? The lines between best friends and lovers that he couldn't really tell and he told Michael that.

"Do you want to be with him?" This was the tricky question and Michael knew it. Lukas was silent with his back along the sofa once again. He gazed away into distance with his brain processing a million things at one time. Michael was ever so patient in waiting for this response. Quietly texting Torsten about the latest developments, reminiscing on how the younger pair was repeating history.

"I want him in my life," Lukas admitted. "But do I want to be lovers... I do but I don't. I just don't know what I want. I love the closeness we've always shared. The cuddling, especially and the kissing... It's not as weird or awkward as I expected."

"You're concerned about the sexual nature of the relationship." Michael dead panned, making Lukas blush.

If there was one thing Lukas loved about his former captain, it's his no bullshit attitude. He will say what's on his mind around those close to him without second thought.

"Yeah..." His response was just a whisper.

Michael smiled slightly. "In all honesty, by the time your relationship gets to that point you don't really think about it. You stop thinking about it and simply embrace it."

"What do I do?" Lukas whispered.

"All things considered, leave him be for a few days," Michael explained. "Give him three or four days to stew. If you haven't heard from him, then text him or email him. After that, wait until you get to Munich to talk to him."

"Still remember I should peruse them?" Lukas asked, getting a 'are you stupid' look from Michael. "I think you're right."

"Of course I'm right! I'm always right." Michael teased. "Use this time to really consider what you want. You should weigh all the options. Let this be the time you do your thinking. Decide in the time you have if it's all worth it."

"I don't believe I can ever look at anyone and say I'm gay."

"You're not gay, Poldi." Micheal stated honestly, not looking up from his phone. "You still prefer women. You just find this particular guy attractive and feel a connection with him. That would be like saying Monika or Sarah are gay. It's like saying I'm gay when I'm not."

Lukas pondered that thought for a moment. Michael was right, as he normally is. Gay was out of the question because he still found many women attracted. How could he have missed the shades of gray? Could he accept saying to people that he was bi-sexual? That was less taboo wasn't it? Is that what he was?

"Yeah, time," Lukas whispered. "I'll take time and think about things. Thanks Micha."

 

* * *

 

_If you wanna go, then go_  
If you wanna stay, then stay  
'Cause I don't wanna fight no more, baby  
I am not fighting anymore

Bastian had finally quieted down after an hour or so. Sarah determined that the emotional turmoil of the mess with Lukas and what she did to him simply did him in. It would make sense wouldn't it?

Bastian was lying along one of the beds when Sarah walked into the room to check up on him. He was awake this time, staring at the ceiling with the twinkling in his eyes Sarah  had come to adore. She smiled gently and sat down on the bed beside him. The two sat in silence for a few minutes before either one of them had the nerve to say anything without Monika around.

"How did you know that Monika was worth all the risk?" Bastian asked, not removing his eyes off the ceiling.

Sarah sighed with a grin as she thought of the time she and Monika spent together. "She made me feel like I could do anything. Conquer anything. Beside her, the fall back from your fans and the media backlash if the truth ever came out and my parents' reaction suddenly didn't matter. All that did matter was having her beside me. I realized that I would fight heaven and hell to have her in my life."

Bastian looked over at his ex, studying her. She was a beautiful as ever. Nothing had changed other than a glow that drew it clear she was happy.

"I should message him..." Bastian started as Sarah shook her head.

"No. You guys need a few days to cool down and figure things out," Sarah said with a small smile. "Lukas more than you. When he thinks on the fly, it's generally not a good thing unless it's on the pitch. He needs to think things through. He really didn't mean what he said. But give him time."

Bastian let out a sigh in defeat. There wasn't much more he could do. Resting here with Sarah sitting beside him was soothing. Somebody knew what he was going through and that meant a great deal to him.           

"Thank you, Sarah," Bastian said with a sincere grin.

Sarah absolutely beamed. She didn't expect him to him to say much to him at all, let alone *thank* him. She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently.

"It will totally work out. I promise," she stated, "I have known you and Lukas for what seems like forever. I've known for just as long as there was something between you two."

"I hope you're right."

She gave him a wink. "I normally am."

 

* * *

 

A moan escaped Lukas' lips as he gripped onto the bed for dear life. He was coming undone in ways he couldn't imagine. The sensation was so vivid. The hands gripping his ass squeezed just a little tighter as his full length was adopted into the mysterious mouth.

 

"Oh god..." Lukas groaned loudly

He could feel himself nearing closer to the edge. He clawed at the short hair going down on him. It was all going to be too much for him. The hands gripping his ass released and one found his manhood with a strong grasp. The movement of the hand and mouth, assorted with the oscillations of the deep moans from the master of seduction sent Lukas to a level of joy that he has never known. The mouth pulled away for just a second before plunging down on him again, slowing down the tempo again. He moaned in frustration as that soothing chuckle filled his senses. He'd know that voice anywhere. It just sounded different. Deeper. Seductive. It was so fucking hot and delicious!

A new sensation found him as two slick fingers began to ply along the one place that had gone unventured sexually. He gasped, but didn't dare try to pull away. It was alarming yet so unbelievable. He bit down on his lip and moaned again. The moans began coming along a near constant basis. The twirling sensation at his entrance was tantalizing and he wanted *more*. With his length, fully submerged, he felt a single finger slip into him, slowly moving in circular motions not to hurt him. He was totally losing his mind. The pace of the mouth and hand combination on his dick along with the finger rubbing his unexplored gspot quickened. He knew this time he would find his release. He felt another finger slip into him and he just about lost it altogether.

"Mmmm... Cum for me, Luki..."

With a loud moan of Basti's name, Lukas' orgasm exploded from him.

Lukas shot up from his slumber, drenched in sweat and panting. He was alone in his bed - which at that moment he was grateful for. The sticky presence of semen was ever so present on his underwear. A wet dream. A wet dream about receiving a blowjob and being fingered *anally* by Bastian and he loved it. So fucking much. Lukas' heart pounded in his chest at the revelation.

 

It had been three days, three agonizing days since he last spoke with him. He had spent the last few days racking his mind trying to come to some conclusion as to what he wanted. It was apparent his subconscious knew better than he did. He glanced over at his clock. It was early still. His post training nap had been a short one. He grabbed his phone and quickly dialed Bastian's number. His heart just sank.

  
_The number you are calling is not in service...._

Tears found Lukas' eyes. This really was the end of their friendship, wasn't it? Would he have really changed his number just to avoid him?  There's just no way. There couldn't  be. Facebook. He could message him on Facebook. Lukas clicked on the Facebook app and immediately his heart stopped. Bild's Facebook page posted an article he could have never prepared himself for.

**_Schweinsteiger's Broken Heart. Bayern Munich's Beloved Midfielder Making a a Jump to Manchester in Attempt to Escape the Loss of Sarah?_ **

 

Lukas could do nothing to stop the sob that escaped him. He threw his phone down and curled up on his bed, no longer caring about the sticky mess and completely unaware that when he threw his phone down his hand slid down the screen enough to scroll down to another article.

**_Schweinsteiger Denies Move to Manchester. Champion Midfielder to Stay With FC Bayern Münich._ **

 

* * *

 

I _am presently running from the angry Schweinski mob. Yes I know I know. This chapter is cruel in so many ways, but hey, it has its pluses to it. It needed some drama between the boys. If the dream sucked (no pun intended) I am sorry. I have never written anything like that before, so I apologize!_


	8. Chapter Seven: We Could Have Had it All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of the fall out. Will the boys talk again? Who has a rather intense fantasy followed by an epiphany?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Chapter Seven: We Could Have Had It All  
> Author: chibiihealz  
> Rating: M  
> Warnings: sexual acts, language  
> Pairing: Schweinski (Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski) *MAIN* / Sarah Brandner & Monika Podolski / Michael Ballack and Torsten Frings / Thomas Muller and Manuel Neuer (Mentions) / Phillip Lahm and Timo Hildebrand (Mention) / Mario Gotze and Marco Reus (mention)  
> Language: English  
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, they're not mine.Nothing has ever happened.

**Chapter Seven  
We Could Have Had It All**

  
_There's a fire starting in my heart_  
Reaching a fever pitch  
And it's bringing me out the dark  
The scars of your love remind me of us  
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all  
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless  
I can't help feeling  
We could have had it all  
\- Rolling in the deep

 

The tension was extremely high. They were coming nearer and closer to penalty charges. 19 minutes into extra time and Lukas had watched as his best friend took a punch to the face, then sat with him as he got his face stapled. Jogi asking him if he needed to be sub. He would have deserved it for sure. The Argentineans were gunning for Bastian. It wasn't any surprise. He was legendary on the pitch. Easily the greatest midfielder in the world at the moment. He had taken his licks the entire tournament. Today was just cruel. They wanted him out of the way.Lukas had a sense of pride as his best friend jogged back into the pitch. He truly was _the chosen one._

There were about eight minutes left in the game. Klose, who walked off the pitch for the final time in the 88th minute was sitting beside him. No words needed to be spoken. They watched that ball as though their lives depended on it. Their lives didn't, but their dreams did. For Miro Klose, this was his second time in a World Cup final match. The first was in 2002 when they lost to Brazil. Language could not convey what they were experiencing.

After a beautiful pass from Schürrle, Götze took the ball to the chest and with a beautiful display he used up his opportunity. Lukas and Klose were on the edge of their seats... GOAL!!!!!! The world blew up around them. The players on the pitch all found the 22 year old Golden Boy. All but one. Bastian Schweinsteiger, the true warrior of football, ran off from the group and towards the sidelines. Lukas ran at his best ally and without a though, leap into his arms, wrapping his legs about his waist, beaming....

 

Bastian sat on the pitch by the team's bench, his elbows resting on his knees, the memory of the World Cup final playing in his head. It was easily one of the greatest moments he had in his life. He was still extremely proud and elated from the experience and couldn't wait to do it all again at the Euro's in two years. As energized as he was, he knew it wouldn't be the same. Not without Luki there to share it with. He knew Lukas would make the team, there was no question of that. Only he recognized that they would only ever be teammates again.

 

Bastian's head hadn't been in the game recently. He is so extremely absent. His mind on another planet and he knew it showed. Torsten knew what was going on yet in true Torsten behavior, he was coming down on him pretty hard. Went as far as to say that he was acting like he was too good to be there. Like he couldn't live up to his claim as the chosen one. Bastian knew it was too keep up appearances. Ordinarily it would have simply drifted off him. He's been doing this for a long time. He had grown used to managers yelling at him for one thing or another. But this... It irked him in a way he couldn't explain.

 

"Alright," a severe voice said from behind him. "I believe you and I need to talk."

It was Philipp Lahm. His friend. His captain. Bastian looked at the shorter player with pleading eyes. He couldn't take any more lectures.

"Fips, please..."

Philipp sat beside him, drawing his knees towards his chest and resting his elbows on them.

"I'm not here to berate you or anything of the sort," he explained gently. "I'm not on captain duty. Just here as a friend. I'm a little worried about you."

Bastian rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I'm fine."

Philipp nodded, "I'm sure you think you are but come on Schweini, you have been out on vacation along the pitch."

"I'm going through a lot right now."

"Don't pin this all on the Sarah breakup lesbian scandal," Philipp said with a firmness to his voice. "I guessed that's what it was at first, then Lukas stopped with the million selfies a day and from what Mesut told me, he's acting like crap."

"So?" Bastian tried to conceal his worry for Lukas.

Philipp gave him a look that questioned Bastian's sanity.

"Oh get off it, Schweini. You two are so obviously in love, it isn't funny," he explained with a grin on his face while Bastian looked panicked.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Timo," was all Philipp said, causing Bastian to look at him with confused eyes. "Timo and I have been together since '05."

Bastian's jaw nearly dropped before pulling back into a smirk.

"I always pegged you for a Manuel type," Bastian teased ever so slightly.

Philipp laughed, happy his team mate didn't freak out over sexual preference.

 

"Oh no no no," he enunciated with a sense of urgency. "Thomas would eat me alive if I tried that. Love him, he's amazing but he's intense."

Bastian's head shot to the side, staring at him. First Michael and Torsten, then Philipp and Timo now Thomas and Manuel? Thomas and Manuel shocked him. Floored him even. Philipp and Timo, not so much looking at how close they always were. And so again, the more he considered about their interactions the more he saw how realistic it actually was.

"Do they know about you and Timo?"

Philipp nodded, "yeah, they do. Anyone who shares that lifestyle on the team is on the in of who's with who. Just one other squad member is coupled up."

"Mario," Bastian said without hesitation. "Him and Marco. They remind me so much of Lukas and I."

"Not as out there as you two," Philipp laughed. "You two were so eccentric right from the start. The was all so serious; that's how it's always been then in 2004 these two hyper active _kids_ with ridiculous hair come onto the scene and act like anything but the norm for the Germans."

Bastian playfully shoved the shorter man. "Our hair wasn't that bad... As for Lukas, right from day one him and I just clicked."

"Yes, I recall," Philipp mused. "You and Him teamed up for warm up and by the end of it you two were just bouncing off one another. Love at first sight. Even if you two didn't realize it. Took you two long enough. Only a decade."

Bastian rolled his eyes. "Some good it is. We aren't even talking."

"You will. Have you considered calling him?"

Bastian shook his head, "No. I figured he would have by now."

Philipp nodded, then called back something that had occurred the other day. "Remember when you dropped your phone in the water? You called the provider and they shut down your service completely?"

"Yeah. So?"

"What if he called then? He probably thought your phone number was changed," Philipp explained. "We all did. In Lukas' mind he's probably thinking you don't want to speak to him ever again. Your phone was down for three days. Anything is possible."

Bastian considered this. There was a chance Lukas did call, but what if he didn't? Did he actually want to be the one to offer the olive branch first? Whenever he and Sarah would fight, he denied to ever be the one to admit he was wrong or try to determine the trouble. He was famous for his arrogance at times. It was moments like this where pride took over, as did his arrogance because they often worked hand in hand. Could he really risk being rejected? Or was possibly losing Lukas for good worth it?

"Even if you don't want to sit down and talk or even say more than ten words to him, just text him and tell him you don't hate him. That you just need time. It will definitely help you. A lot. He will respect that space."

He nodded in silent agreement. He pushed Philipp lightly and gave him a soft smile. "You're correct, as always."

"That's why they made me captain!" Phillip laughed, his ego in full flare.

"So you're retiring from the DFB, huh?" Bastian asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"Yeah, it was time. Time to let a new generation be lead to greatness once more. You're gonna be a great captain," Philipp said softly, making it clear the whole thing had been a difficult decision. "You can be the team's first beast captain."

Bastian threw his head back and laughed loudly, "if I get it. Jogi could think long term with a captain."

Philipp shook his head. "No one in that locker room has the leadership skills you practice. Or the heart you do. You made headlines in a big way this World Cup for all the right reasons. Even in the locker room and on the pitch, you're a born leader."

"Thanks, Fips," Bastian said quietly, obviously taken back by Philipp's words. "I'm just glad you're sticking around here for a while."

"Of course I am!" He shouted. "I'm not ready to walk away from the game yet. I will miss you guys terribly. A lot."

Bastian wrapped his arm round the smaller player's shoulder. "I will look to it that all the guys come see you and annoy you."

Philipp rolled his eyes. "I'll come by the practice when you guys prep for your game in September. Make fun of you fools. Maybe ring you guys through the ringer a few times and laugh because I don't have to do it!"

"Jerk." Bastian mumbled with a smile on his face. "Torsten is benching me for another few weeks."

Phillip didn't look surprised at this news. "You did get a massive beating in that final game. I was surprised you could walk after a few of those hits."

"I couldn't really," Bastian admitted. "I was forcing myself to move. I tried holding onto the adrenaline of the situation. I had to see that game through though. I just couldn't give up! That's what they wanted."

"And with you gone, our midfield would have been lacking a bit," Philipp concluded. "I understand, don't worry. Was it worth the annoyance and the staples?"

Bastian beamed remembering the celebrations following the triumph. "Of course. I definitely would do it all over again. World champions man."         

"How do you plan on spending the extra few weeks off?" Philipp asked

Bastian shrugged. "Normally Sarah and I would go and hit some exotic location."

"London is always an option," Philipp suggested. "A skiing trip is another idea, but that runs the risk of injury, which you're trying to avoid by not playing football right now. I know! Micha is doing a special on the preparations for the Women's World Cup in Toronto. He leaves tomorrow I think and will be extended for two weeks - Torsten was whining about it. Why don't you go with him?"

Bastian pondered this. It wasn't such a bad idea. He got along great with Micha and it would be good to get away with someone who understood what he was going through.

"I think I will," Bastian said with a grin. "Thanks Fips."

 

* * *

 

 

Lukas was like a zombie. Heck - at this point a zombie probably functioned better than he did. He was on auto pilot and was barely getting by. He had just wrapped up another game and while he scored a goal, his performance was substandard and he had gotten a red card. He just got to the locker room and instantly, he kicked a nearby bin of soiled jerseys, sending them flying. He wasn't mad at anyone other than himself. He couldn't believe he had let himself come to this. He was absolutely ashamed. He sighed heavily and sat down at his spot. He seized his phone to check it and remark on his mishap on social media. What he saw as he awoke his phone made his heart stop. There was a missed call and a voicemail from Basti. So he didn’t change his number! Lukas cursed himself silently for ever assuming the worst in everything – as always. He quickly swiped and waited for the voicemail to connect. He entered his password and waited. He was truly terrified. The message could be mean. It could be that Bastian decided 100% he was done with him. But what if it was something good? He just had to know.

"Luki..." Lukas' heart soared at the sound of his nickname. Bastian's voice was distorted. He was having problems saying what was ever on his mind. There was a lot of shuffling around as well. Was he just nervous? "I, uh... I wanted to let you know that The Physio staff have me to leave for four more weeks. I am travelling to join Micha in Toronto for two of them. I just didn't want to go without telling you... So, um... text me. All right? I miss you, Luki. Bye."

Lukas couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. He was beyond happy that Bastian didn't hate him and missed him! Nothing was going to bring him down at this point - not even the lecture he knew was coming from his coach. He was feeling like on top of the world. He opened up his messages and typed Bastian a quick message.

_*i wasn't expecting that message. Thank you. I'm glad that you don't hate me. Have fun in Canada, eh? *_

He put the phone on the shelf of his locker and continued to get changed. He threw off his jersey, then worked on his shoes and shin pads. He had just slid Out of his shorts, staying in his boxers when the phone dinged. He glanced at it again. Basti's name flashed on the screen.

_*i could never hate you, Luki. No more red cards while I'm away. *_

 

Lukas smiled and laughed. Maybe things would turn out okay after all.

_*ill try not to. Silence these next two weeks or...? *_

The response only took a few seconds.

*just text for now. Work up to calls?*

This made Lukas a little sad. He missed Bastian's voice... And that laughter. He would deal, however, something is better than nothing.

_*that sounds great. Airport? *_

Lukas put the phone on the shelf and walked over to the stack of towels and grabbed one. He slipped out of his boxers and wrapped the towel round his hips. His phone went off.

_*yeah. Lounge waiting. Micha is talking too Torsten on FaceTime or something. It's really kinda weird. *_

Lukas smirked slightly. He could only imagine.

_*just kinda? They are being all lovey dovey? *_

The response is instant.

_*yes! But I'm more jealous than angry*_

That confused Lukas.

*why confused? *

*think about it. G2G ok? Talk to you later. *

*be safe*

 

Lukas pondered what Bastian had meant but decided to hold off on figuring it out until he was in the shower. Something about having the water cascade over him helped renew his thought process. He frees himself of his towel and stepped into the shower. He leaned his head against the wall and let his mind go. He had originally meant for his brain to focus on his issues with Bastian, however, they did anything but that. When he closed his eyes, his mind was taken over by images. Images of Bastian and him in the Bayern Munich team showers.

 

* * *

 

 _It's alright_  
You'll be fine  
Baby, I'm in control  
Take the pain  
Take the pleasure  
I'm the master of both  
\- For Your Entertainment

 

_*day dream*_

 

The locker room was otherwise empty. Lukas had just completed a session with the Physio and Bastian had likely gone outside to mix with fans and wait for him. He quickly stripped himself of his clothes and climbed into the shower. He leaned his head against the wall and let the water fall over himself. He had been thus lost in thought that he didn't hear anyone come in. By the time he sensed someone's presence it was too late. One strong arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him tight against a naked, solid manhood with the other hand gripped his now swollen penis. A fury of kisses travelled up his neck to his ear as the hand around his manhood began to move at a steady pace. A moan escaped Lukas' lips. His head was reeling.

  
"Basti..."

"Mine." Bastian whispered, nipping at Lukas' neck

Lukas moaned loudly with a sexy smirk, "Mmmm.. Always."

Bastian growled in a sexy, animalistic grunt sending shivers down Lukas' spine. Bastian pulled on Lukas' ear as he accelerated his pace before turning Lukas around and pushing him lightly against the rampart. He fell to his knees and rested the palms of his hands against the wall on either side of Lukas and took took him into his mouth. Lukas moaned happily and closed his eyes, steadying himself. Without stopping, Bastian glanced up at Lukas and locked eyes with him. He contained a hand off the wall and guided Lukas' legs further apart. Bastian slowly found Lukas' entrance and started kneading it. He wanted to bury himself in his lover, but knew the preparations were necessary. It just needed a few minutes to relax him enough to slide two fingers in ever so slowly. Lukas was already losing his mind. He leaned against the wall completely, leaving his hips forward to make more comfortable access to Bastian and attacked Bastian's head with his hands, pulling on what hair he could, pulling on his ears and often forcing him farther down on him - thankful for Bastian's lack of a gag reflex. The compounding of the blow job and the insane fingering, Lukas' orgasm was intense. He was left trembling as Bastian licked up each bead of seed. Lukas wanted more... He needed more. He gave Bastian a seductive look and bit his lips. His lover knew what he asked.

Bastian returned to his feet and attacked Lukas' lips. The kiss was full of longing, passion, intensity. Their hands clawing at every possible inch of skin they could. Lukas broke the kiss with a nip at Bastian's lips, having him to grumble with that possessive growl he loved so much. He spun around and braced himself against the wall. They had done this so many times that they had it down to a science but it was never boring. Bastian spit on his hand and covered his dick with it for a natural lubricant and began rubbing the tip of his dick against his entrance. This was partially to tease Lukas, partially to prepare him. Lukas was getting impatient. He was ready and wanted it badly. He waited for Bastian to tease him by lightly pressing into him and quickly reached behind him to grip his lover and pressed himself down onto Bastian. Bastian responded with a deep groan. He wouldn't tease anymore - not right away at least. The sensation was incredible for both of them. Bastian began to move at a slow pace, savoring each slick movement, his hands holding tightly to Lukas' hips. Lukas was still partly standing. He forced himself up slightly and Bastian grabbed his lover and forced him against him, thrusting deeply into him every bit he answered. Lukas growled this time and quickly found Bastian's lips. The movements were stilled with Bastian filling Lukas completely. Their tongues battled for dominance in a passionate exchange. The amount of love in their kisses was enough to make their world spin. In a matter of seconds, their sexual endeavors became less about lust and more about the connection.

Bastian wanted to be closer to his lover. He pulled away, getting a whine from Lukas in return, which he quickly silenced with his lips. The water was still pouring down on them as Bastian guided Lukas to the floor. He kept his eyes locked with Lukas' as he spread his legs, relubricated his dick with spit and slid into Him. Lukas instinctively pulled is legs to his chest as Bastian began to move. Bastian leaned through Lukas' legs and kissed him passionately as he picked up the pace. With the kiss broken, Bastian leaned his head against Lukas' and locked eye contact once more. His pace picked up and he was now slamming into his lover - something that rode them both wild. He was so close now. His orgasm threatened to break at any moment and judging by the pulsating against his stomach, so was Lukas. Bastian pulled himself up, not missing a beat and grabbed Lukas' manhood in his hands again. Bastian fought back his release as hard as he could - he was going to cum with his lover. He was so determined. His pace on Lukas' dick was quick, Lukas' moans were getting more and more acute. Lukas pushed Bastian's hand away and locked eyes with him once more.

"Cum... For... Me..." Lukas grunted through moans.

Bastian gripped Lukas' hips roughly and pounded into him. The men were both moaning like they were losing control. Lukas screamed out Bastian's name as cum shot all over him. Bastian exploded along with him, emptying himself into Lukas.

 

* * *

 

_*reality*_

 

"Fuck.. Basti..." Lukas moaned out as his seed mixed in with the water and found the drain.

Lukas leaned against the wall, lost in the aftermath of his high. This was the first time he ever willingly came from a fantasy involving Bastian. It was all very intense, very intimidating but he knew that if a fantasy made him feel that way… the real thing would only be so much better. The act itself still scared him a bit, but he knew that with Bastian, it wouldn’t matter. He would be in great hands. Lukas was surprised by how much he wanted it all. He was in deeper than he ever thought. The very thought made him smile. It was all a lot clearer now. He kicked himself mentally for not getting to the realization earlier. He was missing out on everything. They could have had it all. The fog of doubt was gone and he had never known anything as clearly as he knew this.

He wanted to be with Bastian.

 

* * *

 

 


	9. Chapter Eight: We Found Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Bastian's birthday! Lukas and Sarah both have surprises for him. One threatens to destroy the other. Uh oh!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: My Sacrifice  
> Author: chibiihealz  
> Rating: M  
> Warnings: Fluff, language  
> Pairing: Schweinski (Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski) *MAIN* / Sarah Brandner & Monika Podolski / Michael Ballack and Torsten Frings  
> Language: English  
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, they're not mine.Nothing has ever happened.

**Chapter Eight.  
We Found Love**

****_London_  
  


"I don't want to get up," Sarah's soft voice pierced the tranquil quiet as her and Monika lay in bed together, "it's going to be three weeks before I see you again."

Monika rolled onto her other position so that she was facing Sarah and smiled. "It will go by quickly. It is very important for you. Lukas starts school soon and is the best choice for him."

Sarah nodded, kissing her girlfriend lightly. "Back to Kohl while Lukas is back in Munich."

"He never should have left," Monika dead panned. "Did I tell you that before Bastian left for Toronto the two of them had a brief texting conversation?"

Sarah nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! I'm happy they're talking again. They are both just far too stubborn for their own good."

"It is. I think Lukas will be better with everything once the divorce is resolved and all is good on that conclusion. It's still so weird."

Sarah began to drop behind a line of soft kisses along Monika's neck. "But oh so good. It is totally turning out how it should've."

Monika bit back a groan, "mhm. Not right now, though. Louis will be up. He's getting to be so excited that today we are moving back to Kohl. Lukas is giving me our old house there and he will find something when he can."

Sarah pulled herself back onto her pillow and began playing with her lover's hair. "That was honorable of him to do."

"It was. How are things with you and Basti? Talking at all?"

Sarah nodded with a smile, "everyday actually. We get along better now than we did when we were together. It's kind of nice."

Monika just nodded. Things were the same with Lukas and her. She loved the fact that he felt he could go to her with how he's been feeling about things.

"I had a dream about us all last night," Sarah said softly. "We were all at the 2034 World Cup. Louis was playing for DFB."

Monika beamed, this didn't surprise her at all. Her son may look a lot like her, but in many ways he was his father. Especially when it came to the love of football. "Did we win?"

Sarah looked like she was pondering, "of course we did. Got our sixth star."

"Sixth!!" Monika exclaimed. "2018, for sure."

 

Sarah nodded beaming, "Yes. Then there was a cold spell after that, sadly. From what I remember, 2022 was acquired by the Netherlands and 2026 was Portugal, finally. 2030 was Brazil. 2034 was held in Germany again."

"Louis was a big star?" Monika asked with a hopeful spirit, knowing dreams could actually just be that with no merit on the hereafter.

"Superstar forward. Won the golden ball. What gets interesting though, is who won the Golden Boot," Sarah said softly looking at Monika intensely. "Andreas Schweinsteiger."

"Tobias?" Monika asked inquiry about the father.

Sarah shook her head, "No. Bastian."

Monika looked genuinely puzzled. "In order for that to happen, he would need to be born in early 2015. He would be 19 in 2034..."

Monika went silent again. She thought about it for a moment. Was it even possible? Of course it was. It wasn't like she wasn't in a relationship with Bastian a few months ago. Would that change everything? Would Bastian demand to come back together with her and get married? Monika's blood was now going cold. It took all her strength to ask the impossible.

"Are you pregnant?"

Sarah blinked a few times in confusion. This was something she didn't even consider being possible. A child wasn't something she wanted at the moment. She was happy being in Louis' life but her own?

"I... I don't think so," Sarah said softly. "My period, sometimes acts up..."

Monika sat up and looked at her girlfriend perplexed. "You're late?"

"I usually am," Sarah grinned. "Dreams are nothing to go on. You know that..."

  
Monika pushed her blankets aside and leaped out of bed and began scurrying around for clothes. "No, but all the same. Wouldn't you want to know?"

Sarah studied her companion. She suddenly got really frightened. "If I was... It wouldn't change us would it?"

Monika froze in place. She had been terrified of the same thing, yet here was her girlfriend frightened that she would be left. Monika tossed on a pair of jeans and sat down on the bed, wrapping her arms a around her naked girlfriend's body.

"Never baby," Monika whispered softly. "The five of you, Louis and all of us, we are a family. A strange, nontraditional family, but a family all the same. If you are pregnant, then we will have six members and you know Bastian will be elated."

Tears were now streaming down her face. She was so scared. She had never truly considered a family and now things were so out of whack, nothing made sense.

 

"Where would we live?"

Monika smiled softly, "we could consider Munich if Lukas would ever let go of colone for a while or the boys would travel a lot to see us and the kids."

Sarah nodded into Monika's neck, "would you help me? I don't believe I could do this on my own."

Monika tightened her hold on the blonde in her arms. "Of course I would. I always wanted to have another baby. This will be our baby as well as theirs. Family remember?"

There was a knock on the door, followed by Heidi sticking her head into the door. The curvy Canadian-born girl slid into the room with a look of concern on her face. The women turned to face Heidi.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Heidi said softly with a grin. "I heard Sarah crying on my way to wake Louis and I wanted to make sure everything was ok."

Sarah's features softened. She was always fond of the young woman and was thankful she was travelling to Germany permanently to remain with Monika and Louis and to attend school.

"We already have six members," Sarah whispered to Monika motioning to the newly red headed woman.

Monika smiled, "Yes. Thank you, Heidi. Are you able to do me a favor? I will wake up Louis and get him ready. I demand the utmost discreetness with this task."

Heidi looked concerned, but quickly nodded. This wasn't the first time a conversation has got down like this.

"Of course," was her answer. "Judging by the view before me, Sarah thinks she may be pregnant?"

Sarah nodded, "Yes, would you mind-?"

Heidi quickly shook her head, "of course not. I will go to the pharmacy down the street. I'll purchase one of each test. I will be back in a few minutes."

 

Monika looked at the girl with appreciation. Tasks like this weren't a part of the job, but she was beyond thankful to have her. The press could be ruthless with wags and while they knew who Heidi was, they generally left her alone. "Thank you so much, Heidi."

"Never a problem, Monika," Heidi nodded. "Would you like anything else?"

Sarah just froze. A weird sensation filled her body. She suddenly leaped from the bed and ran into the bathroom to throw up. Heidi and Monika shared a look.

 

"I'll get some Gingerale and some prenatal vitamins as well," Heidi said receiving a nod of agreement from Monika before exiting the room

 

* * *

  
_It's like you're screaming, and no one can hear_  
You almost feel ashamed  
That someone could be that important  
That without them, you feel like nothing  
No one will ever understand how much it hurts  
You feel hopeless; like nothing can save you  
And when it's over, and it's gone  
You almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back  
So that you could have the good  
\- Rihanna  
  
 ** _August 1_ st  
Toronto, Canada.**

 

Bastian stood by the window of his hotel room, looking out at the city. It was a beautiful spot with a captivating skyline. He especially loved the illuminated lights of the CN Tower, it was a wonderful touch. He had gotten back to the hotel just a while ago after taking in a Toronto Football Club game and causing a stir with a few locals. He had been recognized by a pair of sisters - both wearing Bayern Munich jerseys when they approached him. Other than that - he was largely unbothered. A welcomed change from back home.

He reached into his pocket and glanced at his phone. Zilch. No calls or texts from Lukas. In a way, he was glad Lukas was respecting the space, but on the other end, he hoped that Lukas would fight for him. Particularly today. It was, after all, his birthday. Turning thirty years old and starting the day off alone. How life has changed! He put his phone in his pocket and decided to venture out into the city. Michael was out at a meeting and wouldn't be back for a few hours. While the food at the Shangri-la was amazing, he needed a change of pace.

He had been in Toronto for a week now and had come to truly like the city. It would be a safe spot to come for Vacation. Perhaps next summer he could come for a personal trip and explore it.

He walked out into the crisp summer air... If you could call it summer. Toronto had been under a relatively cool summer, not that he was complaining. He walked the streets as a Rihanna song played from his beats headphones. The song, _We Found Love_ seemed to pop up Everytime he hit the shuffle button on his iPhone. Even his phone was taunting him. He grumbled to himself, losing himself in the song as he walked into the Tim Horton's. He and Michael had been here numerous times this week and he had acquired a love for the coffee and pretzel bagels with mustard butter. He promptly paid, and so steered back to the hotel. From there, once he ate and enjoyed his coffee, he would plan out the rest of his day. As he walked out of the coffee store, his phone dinged. He pulled out of it quickly. There was a text from Tobias.

 

_*happy birthday "my bunny". You and Lukas are too much. Just get married already.  Twitter.*_

                                                                                                                  

Bastian looked perplexed. He promptly spread up his sporadically used twitter app and found Lukas' profile. He stopped walking in the middle on University Ave and just stared for a minute. He was completely speechless. Lukas had used that nickname during their week together. It was him basically calling him babe. A pet name. Now he was openly using it on social media. That is such a huge statement. Sure, most people, like Tobias would take it as a joke but he knew better. Was Lukas using this as a way to say he was sorry or that he didn't mean what he said? Whatever it was, it made Bastian feel just a little bit better.

He pocketed his phone and rushed back to the hotel. He would call Lukas once he had some food in his system and a chance, although briefly, to think about it all.

The hotel room, as expected, was empty. Bastian sat down on the sofa set up in the suite and opened the wrapping of the bagel. He looked at twitter again. Smiling at all the birthday wishes he made from fans and fellow teammates and friends alike. His heart, though, it would beat hard like a drum and race like a sports car on the autobahn. Maybe, just maybe Lukas did want to be with him. No, Bastian quickly scolded himself. Lukas made it clear what he wanted... Or didn't want. This was him just being him. He put the last bite of his bagel in his mouth and tossed his phone down before drinking down a large gulp of his coffee.

There was a knock on the door, which surprised Bastian. He glanced at the clock on the wall - there was no way Michael was back, and he would have knocked. His brother was in New York with Bayern Munich; his parents wouldn't dream of flying overseas. They didn't for the World Cup - they sure as hell wouldn't for his birthday. Sarah was on a shoot and Monika was heading to Cologne with Louis since Lukas was adamant about joining Bayern. Did FIFA finally come in and enforce the break everyone seemed to dismiss? Possibly. But who would visit?

"Room service!"

The mysterious voice rang out in the worst attempt at a Canadian accent ever. He would recognize that voice anywhere. Only it couldn't be. There was just no way. Bastian approached the door slowly as another wave of knocks and cheery room service calls rang out. Without looking at the peephole, he opened the door. His heart nearly stopped beating.

"Luki..." Bastian forced a whisper of shock

Lukas looked nervous and utterly terrified. But why?

"Hello, my rabbit, happy birthday." he stated with a nervous smile.

 

There was an awkward silence and tension so think you could hack it with a knife. The rut of their last exchange, obviously still lingered round them. Bastian, who was at a loss for words, moved to the side and let Lukas in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?" Bastian asked quietly as he shut the door.

The door clicked and Bastian turned around. Lukas had his back to him, only his body registered that he was anxious about something. Bastian reached out to touch his shoulder when out of no where, Lukas spun around.

"Fuck it." Lukas mumbled

What happened next took Bastian by utter surprise. Lukas walked over to him and in a swift but gently movement, cupped Bastian's cheeks with his hands and kissed him gently yet with so much passion it made Bastian's  head spin. It took him a moment to register what was going on before he wrapped his arms around Lukas and deepened the kiss.

That was about all it took. Lukas' heart leaped at the feeling he wasn't being turned down. That was his greatest fear coming to Toronto like this. Bastian wanted answers. He demanded them, only they could await. Right now this was all he cared about.

 

The two men allowed their brains to shut off and lose themselves. The two men moved through the suite, sharing the occasional light laugh as one tripped or hit something. Before long, though, they found themselves in Bastian's room, lying so that Lukas was under Bastian, who was beside him, but propped over his upper body by his elbows. Lukas' hands roamed everywhere they possibly could on Bastian's upper body. Lukas groaned in defeat with the shirt. He wanted to feel more.

It was that groan, though, that brought Bastian crashing back down to solid ground. He broke the kiss quickly and sat up, confused and almost lost. Lukas had expected this reaction. Just before they came in here. Lukas sighed sadly and sat up so he could sit beside Bastian. The concern of rejection sitting heavy with him once more.

"Basti..." Lukas whispered tenderly, resting his chin on Bastian's shoulder, turning his torso and then he was confronting his friend.

Bastian leaped up and spun around to look at Lukas, a mixture of anger, confusion and pain dancing in his eyes.

"How dare you come here and pull this stunt!" Bastian shouted, Lukas knew then that Bastian's walls were up and were going to be hard to knock down. "The first time breaking my heart wasn't enough?"

Lukas shook his head and turned himself so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, his arms resting on his thighs.

"No, of course not," his voice was serene and soothing. "I regretted..."

 

"What happened, yes I fucking know," Bastian snapped. "Thank you for reminding me."

Lukas shot him a poisonous look, "Saying it! I regretted saying I regret it. I didn't. I don't. I never did. I was just confused and lost and attempting to do the right thing and I went about it entirely amiss. I hated what I did to you."

Bastian looked at Lukas. His body was now trembling ever so lightly. He was truly upset now. Bastian had only seen that look on Lukas' face once before and that was after a missing a crucial penalty shot. He looked utterly defeated. Bastian felt himself soften up a bit.

"I am here because I want to be with you," Lukas finally said after a few minutes of quiet.

Bastian sighed and sat down beside him. He was now more confused than before.

"There's no one id rather spend my birthday with," Bastian admitted, "but why the kiss? I mean I accept that you don't want..."

Lukas sighed in frustration at the Bavarian. Sometimes he was simply a bit slow. Lukas peeled off the bed and knelt down in front of Bastian, in between his legs and looked upward at him with a crooked smile before setting his hand on the back of Bastian's neck and drawing him downward into a sweet kiss. He stopped the kiss quickly and lay his head against Bastian's forehead.

"I mean I want to be with you. Like this..." he whispered, kissing him again, his heart fluttering before breaking it again to continue speaking. "I was scared and I didn't understand what was going on. And so when I lost you it all started to make sense to me. I don't know what I'm doing in all of this. I'm frightened and I'm lost, but I know that with you, we can cipher it out. Together."

Lukas kept his eyes firmly locked with Bastian's. The tension quickly filled the room. Bastian didn't know how to process Lukas' confession. Not after everything that happened anyway. With every minute that fell out and with every second that Bastian sat there like a zombie, Lukas became more unnerved. What appeared to be hours later, Lukas felt tears prick at his eyes. He couldn't cry - not when he deserved this. But he couldn't stay or else he would fall apart. He drew away from Bastian, who didn't react and began to maneuver for the door. He had just entered the hallway when he heard a voice from the bedroom behind him.

"Do you mean that?" There was a distinct sound of fear in Bastian's voice. This clinched Lukas' heart. "You're not going to take it back are you?"

Lukas spun around and looked at Bastian. Bastian was looking up at Lukas with a daze, teary face. He knew he had crushed Bastian, Monika made sure he knew it, but he never imagined just how bad. Bastian was looking at him with the innocence of a child who had been scolded.

"I mean it," Lukas replied, cautiously walking towards the other man. "I don't know what to do or how any of this works, but all I know is I am tired of being just your best friend. Ten years is a long time to hide your feelings. I'm just exhausted. I just want you..."

               Bastian closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around Lukas, holding on for dear life. Lukas returned the hug and together they stood, enclosed in a blissful state with one another. Bastian had just gotten quite possibly the greatest birthday gift he could have ever imagined getting. He didn’t know how it was going to work anymore than Lukas did but it didn’t matter.

* * *

 

_Yellow diamonds in the light_  
Now we’re standing side by side  
As your shadow crosses mine  
What it takes to come alive  
[…]  
We Found Love in a hopeless place…  
\- Rihanna  
  


               The night had fallen. Lukas and Bastian returned to the hotel absolutely exhausted after their day of exploring the city. Michael had been busy all day and still had not returned by the time the boys got back. They had spent the day just reconnecting as friends – there was no indication that the two of them were moving towards beginning a relationship. They had explored various parts of the city and agreed that if they could, they would drag Michael out of the CN Tower for the adventure walk they were going on tomorrow. It was about ten thirty when the two set up themselves in Bastian’s room watching a film.

               This time it was Bastian using Lukas as a pillow as they watched Bend it like Beckham, which Bastian picked out of a handful of sport movies the hotel had available for rent. It was at a part when the coach made a comment about the English players losing to the Germans in penalties when both boys burst out laughing.

               “They have only beaten us once since this movie came out, haven’t they?” Lukas asked with a smirk

               “2008,” Bastian replied

               “Friendly, I remember,” Lukas smirked, “I got to watch your ugly ass from the bench.”

               “My ugly ass?” Bastian laughed shifting himself so he was on his elbows, looking at Lukas with a wicked smile. “My ass is quite nice if I do say so myself. Not as nice as yours though.”

               Lukas rolled his eyes, “Maybe if you joined me in the gym once in a while you wouldn’t be such a chub.”

               Bastian raised an eyebrow and put his arm on the other side of Lukas’ torso and pulled himself up closer to Lukas’ face and nuzzled his nose with his own, “I think you should just shut up.”

               Bastian kissed Lukas, softly at first, but it rapidly turned into something more intense. Bastian, remembering the protest Lukas had earlier that day, made quick work of his shirt, tossing it to the side. Lukas looked at him appreciatively and grabbed him by the rear of the neck, tearing him into another kiss. Bastian adjusted himself so he was completely covering Lukas. The two were lost in their own world, so much so that they didn’t hear Michael come in. Michael was stunned as he walked into Bastian’s room to find Bastian in the situation that he was in. He knew that Bastian wasn’t the type to run out and pluck up a random one night stand. He often poked fun at the younger man for being such a hopeless romantic. It left him wondering if he had gone out and found himself a young man to distract himself from the blow of two heartaches. Michael was no stranger to this and he knew just how serious this could be on numerous points. Bastian would regret this and it would probably cause a setback to a relationship that probably wouldn’t pull through it. Michael, however, constituted a mental note to forever taunt Bastian about the disastrous hook up that nearly was.

               Michael snuck into the bathroom and grabbed a plastic cup that had been sitting there with Bastian’s toothbrush in it. He threw the toothbrush in the sink and quickly filled it with water. He slipped back into the room and without a second thought, projected it onto Bastian. The sudden contact with cold water startled Bastian enough to fall off the bed with a loud thud. Michael originally looked pleased with himself – until he realized who was sitting along the bed in shock.

               “Micha, du hurensohn!” Bastain shouted at his former captain who had found himself in a fit of laughter.

               “You seemed a little hot there, birthday boy,” Michael said without missing a heartbeat, “Thought I would chill you down.”

               “Most people _knock,_ ” Lukas sneered, helping Bastian off the floor. Once Bastian was up, he wrapped his arm around him protectively.

               Michael smirked at the situation despite being shocked, “Well, honestly, I did not expect to see you there Poldi. I figured Basti over here had fallen into an extreme case of the birthday blues or something and decided to go find a Canuck to shag.”

               Bastian looked offended, “Verpiss dich!”

               Lukas glared at Michael, “I came to work things out with him.”

               “So I can see,” Michael replied, “I actually came in here to see if the birthday boy wanted to join me at pub about ten minutes from here but apparently he had other plans.”

               Bastian’s ears perked up, come to think of it, Lukas and he hadn’t eaten anything since their late lunch, “Turn down beer on my birthday? Never. Luki, you wanna go babe?”

               Michael raised an eyebrow, “I want details on how all this came about. Get some clothes on and lets rock and roll. I’m starving.”

               Bastian glanced down at his sweatpants and frowned, “I probably should clean myself up before we go. Shower first?”

               “I showered when we came back, remember?” Lukas said as he caught his bag that the boys had got up sooner in the day, “I’ll get ready while you pretty yourself.”

               Bastian rolled his eyes and turned towards the bathroom, “You love it.”

               “None of your bloody scarves!” Lukas called out, getting a laugh from Michael in the other room.

               It took Lukas all about two minutes to throw on a pair of dark wash jeans, a white shirt with a dark blue Adidas zipper hoodie left open and with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of white Adidas sneakers. When Lukas exited the bedroom, Michael was sitting on the couch in a pair of dark wash jeans and a black button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

               “An hour you think?” Michael asked Lukas as the other man sat down beside him

               Lukas laughed, “Maybe two. You know how the ladies are.”

               Michael smirked, “How did this all come about? You came to Toronto and Bam, all is well?”

               “Not really,” Lukas responded, “It was more like I showed up, surprised him, kissed him, he freaks out when he realizes what's going on, we have a talk about things and spent the day together. Kinda glad that FIFA overrode our coaches. Don’t have to be back with the team until August 11th. Hopefully by then Torsten has my contract all sorted and done with.”

               Michael nodded, “Anxious to start back to Bayern, huh?”

               Lukas beamed, “I am. I miss being in Germany all the time.”

               “Don’t miss me,” Bastian said as he walked out of the room in a pair of black pants, white T-shirt, thin black cardigan left open with the sleeves rolled up and of course, a black scarf. “I understand how it is.”

               Lukas’ jaw nearly dropped. This was a standard look for Bastian ever since he started dating Sarah, who pushed some fashion into his life. However, for some reason, Lukas felt as though he was looking at Bastian for the first time all over once more. Michael noted the change in demeanor in Lukas and grinned. He recognized that expression entirely too comfortably. The attraction was shifting into something more. The passion he had developed for Bastian as a best friend had begun to shift. Bastian had the same aspect in his eyes a few weeks ago, now it was Lukas’ turn.

               “You look like a dork,” Michael said, motioning to the men to follow, “Let’s go, shall we?”

               Bastian went to follow Michael but stopped when Lukas stood in front of him. Bastian noticed the look in Lukas’ eyes, something had changed and he had a feeling it was something good.

               “You look…” Lukas started giving Bastian a once over again

               “Sexy?” Bastian finished in a low, gruff voice, then grabbed Lukas’ hand and without a word, followed Michael out the doorway.

               The walk was filled with playful banter between Michael and Bastian. Lukas, uncharacteristically remained quiet, but sticking to Bastian’s side. Lukas found himself in a state of awe over everything, even though he wasn’t necessarily surprised by it all. He knew he wanted to be Bastian’s _boyfriend_ and all that and he figured that everything would just fall into place. He didn’t imagine he would suddenly see his best friend in the way that he was and the feelings that were finally seeping through the locked box Lukas had kept felt amazing. He had never felt like this before – so much like he was on cloud nine. He didn’t fully understand it, but he enjoyed it.

* * *

 

Shine a light through an open door  
Love and life I will divide  
Turn away 'cause I need you more  
Feel the heartbeat in my mind  
It’s the way I’m feeling I just can’t deny  
But I’ve gotta let it go  
\- Rihanna

**_Cologne, Germany  
One Week Later_ **

               Sarah found herself pacing around the living room, anxious and full of worry.  Louis was away at football camp for the day, Heidi had the day off and Monika sat on the sofa behind Sarah reading a magazine, getting somewhat annoyed with her girlfriend. Bastian and Lukas had landed in Cologne a little over two hours ago and were due at the house at anytime. Sarah had been waiting the entire week to give Bastian his birthday gift from her and she had been excited about it all but now? She is now a nervous wreck. His reaction could go either way and then there’s the whole matter of his new found _relationship_ with Lukas. The idea of that calmed her nerves a little. She was beyond happy that Lukas and Bastian had finally set up themselves in the early phases of a young relationship. They weren’t known to many people as of yet, but it warmed her heart each time they referred to the other as his beau. Somehow that made the guilt of everything she had done with Monika feel less severe.

               The sound of the front door closing and Lukas’ usual playful banter caused Sarah to stop dead. Her heart was in her throat and she felt like she might faint. Monika got up to her feet to help Sarah sit down when a wave of nausea hit her like a cargo train. She ran passed the men who were coming into the room yelling something about a strong colone and ran into the bathroom by the living room. Monika followed behind her, collecting her hair in her hands. The boys exchanged a look and walked a little down the hall. Just enough to talk to the girls, but far enough back to give Sarah the privacy she needed at that moment.

               “I am so tired of throwing up,” Sarah groaned as she stood up slowly and quickly went to brush her teeth.

               Monika exited the bathroom, shutting the door behind her and lead the boys in the living room.

               “You don’t seem at all concerned that your girlfriend, who never gets sick by the way,” Bastian noted, “just threw up. She’s been doing this a lot?”

               Monika nodded, taking her spot on the couch, “Yup. Every single day. It’s worse in the mornings or with any strong scents.”

               Bastian looked baffled by what was going on. He seemed to be a mix between annoyed and almost mad that Monika didn’t seem to care at all. He may be with Lukas now, but that didn’t change the fact that he cared about her. Lukas, however, his eyes widened in shock. He quickly found the wall and sunk down onto the floor. This wasn’t something that could be occurring right now. He was happy for Bastian but what was this going to do to them? Bastian was a man of his beliefs, much like he was. This day was not going to end well.

               “I am okay, Bastian,” Sarah said gently as she walked into the room turning Bastian’s attention to her. “Lukas is all right. I guess he’s just in shock.”

               Lukas nodded slowly and Bastian looked even more disconcerted than he already was and at that moment, that was a hard effort.

               “Sarah… what is going on?”

               “I have your birthday present for you,” Sarah slowly said as she approached Bastian

               “Everyone is acting weird,” Bastian said, nearly in a state of panic, “You can't be thinking of gifts right now.”

               “They are acting like this because of your gift,” Sarah said as she took Bastian’s hand and laid it on her stomach. It was now or never. “Basti, I’m pregnant.”


	10. Chapter Nine: Battlefield...Ever After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: It's a long chapter. Lots happens.... Basti and Luki fight... Someone is outed... Things change... I'm tired... summaries suck lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Chapter Nine: Battlefield...Ever After Part One  
> Author: chibiihealz  
> Rating: M  
> Warnings: Fluff, sexual acts, language  
> Pairing: Schweinski (Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski) *MAIN* / Sarah Brandner & Monika Podolski / Michael Ballack and Torsten Frings / Mario Gotze and Marco Reus / Manuel Neuer and Thomas Muller  
> Language: English  
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, they're not mine.Nothing has ever happened.

**Chapter Nine:  
Battlefield… Ever After**

 

 

 _It's easy to fall in love_  
But it's so hard to break somebody's heart  
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield  
\- Lea Michele

 

Lukas sat with his agent as they waited to sign the last contract for his transfer to Bayern Munich. He should have been more excited, but truth be told, he wanted to cower into a hole and vanish.

Monika and Sarah had moved - once more. This time to Munich; much upon the insistence of Bastian. _Bastian_. The name made him want to fall apart. He wasn't even certain why he was doing this transfer anymore. What would be the point? After Sarah told him that she was pregnant, everything went along from there. Foremost, he was so very happy, which made Lukas happy too, and Bastian even included him in the festivities, but it was more often than not short lived. Bastian took off for a while, leaving everyone to believe that this was all going to be a smooth transition. That was of course until Bastian came home. The image still haunts him.

_One Week Ago…_   


Lukas, Sarah and Monika were all sitting in the living room, exchanging stories about pregnancy and discussing their hopes for the future as their family was expanding when Bastian came into the room. He was dressed in a button down dress shirt and a pair of black slacks. His hair was spiked and he put on his best dress shirt. Everyone looked at him as though he had a third head.

"Sarah," Bastian said with a breathless tone as he entered the room, though there was a pain in his eyes that couldn’t be deciphered

"You seem like you're going someplace fancy," she stated with a smile. "Where you off to?"

Bastian said nothing. Instead, he got down on his knee in front of Sarah. Lukas' heart stopped, as did Monika's. Monika knew this wasn't going to happen, but she knew Lukas must have been feeling like his world was collapsing. She ran to soothe her son's father, but he got away. He grabbed his duffle bag and disappeared. He got off to Cologne to visit his parents and pretty much disappeared from the radar.

He left his phone in Munich.

 

**_Present…_ **

 

It was only when his agent, who was oblivious to what was going on, showed up at his parents place to inform him the transfer agreements had been made and he was a Bayern Munich player again.

He remained off the grid, but turned his phone that Monika had shipped dropped off. He was bombarded with texts that had been sent while it was off. Mostly from Bastian. He left them unread. His voicemail was full as well. Those could get deleted.

He had a chance to stay with Arsenal but that wasn't fair to the girls. His parents had kept him updated with everything going on. The girls set up a wonderful place not far from Bastian's. They were energized about it - or so Monika said when she came to see him with Louis. He played with Louis and carried along like nothing was awry, but he blocked out his ex-wife. Had he listened though, he would have found out that Sarah promptly turned down the proposition. It didn't matter anymore. The act itself was enough to crush Lukas.

He understood completely. He did. Him and Monika had been close when they started sleeping together. He loved her, but not enough. Not the way she deserved. When she got pregnant, it was no question about whether they would get married. It was a matter of when and where. It was what was expected of them. Nothing else mattered to their households. There was a lot his family, as well as hers and certainly Bastian's could turn a blind eye to. Having a child whose parents weren't married was out of the question. Bastian was doing the very thing he had done with Monika. He shouldn't be hurt or even surprised by this, but he was.

With the contracts signed, Lukas decided to walk around. He ventured out to the pitch where the team was working on warm ups with the intern assistant captain. He spotted Bastian on the other side of the pitch, working with the senior physiotherapist. Lukas didn't go unnoticed, though. He tossed his bag to the side in just enough time to have Thomas and Manu collide into him.

 

"Poldi!" Thomas yelled, getting Bastian's attention. "He's finally crossed to the dark side!"

"All contracts signed?" Manu asked, wrapping his arms around Lukas in a proper hug

Lukas nodded, sneaking looks at Bastian whenever he could.  "Ink is still drying, but yeah."

Mario and Marco came up to him, startling Lukas. Lukas looked at Marco in utter shock. He had heard rumors that Marco had an interest in transferring from DvB but didn't know it had finalized.

"Holy crap, Marco!" Lukas shouted wrapping his arms around the younger boy. "I guess I should welcome you to the team?"

Marco laughed, shaking his head. "I should be thanking you. I'm no longer the new guy around here. You get the hazing now."

"You wish," Manu responded with a grin. "He was already on Bayern back in the day. He's perfectly safe. You're not."

* * *

  
 _Feelings are shifting like the tide_  
And I think too much about the future  
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield  
\- Lea Michele

Bastian tried focusing on the physiotherapist giving him a look at instead of the laughter and welcoming of Bayern's newest player. Lukas had made the move after all. He didn't know why this surprised him. He knew, though he was going to have some words with his boyfriend. He had no idea why Lukas would just leave without a word like that then ignore him like he had. He was still furious.

Bastian finished up with the physiotherapist and began his venture towards the collection of team mates surrounding Lukas. It was at that very moment Torsten chose to make an appearance.

"I need all DFB players in the locker room now," Torsten said firmly already pushing the players towards the locker room. This annoyed Bastian a great deal. He gave Torsten a look that showed just that. "Podolski you stay back here a moment. Lahm I want you in there too."

Phillip nodded with a grin on his face. He may no longer be on the roster for the National Team but he was glad that they consider him to still be apart of it. Perhaps it had to do with the World Cup. The look on Torsten's face said something different. The two exchanged a look and Torsten motioned towards Bastian and Lukas and Phillip understood. There was going to be a scene and he wanted it contained. The DvB players knew of the sort-of relationship the boys shared and respected it. Heck, many of them wondered when they would eventually admit they were an item. Many Members of Bayern hadn't been revealed to their relationship and many wouldn't be supportive of the relationship if it came out in this argument Phillip jogged into the locker room, pushing Bastian along.

Lukas walked over to Torsten with a befuddled expression.

"I need this contained," Torsten replied without looking up from his papers. "Bastian has been a real wrecking ball since you took off."

"He was-" Lukas argued

"I know the whole story," Torsten cut Lukas off. "But Lukas you knew no matter what happened that walking off from your boyfriend like that would cause this."

"He's not my boyfriend," Lukas said simply. "He chose Sarah."

Torsten shot the boy a deadly glare. "He proposed for the very reason you married Monika. Don't be such a hypocrite."

* * *

  
 _Can't swallow our pride,_  
Neither of us wanna raise that flag  
If we can't surrender  
Then we both gonna lose what we had…  
Peace will come when one of us puts down the gun  
Be strong for both of us  
No, please, don't run, don't run  
Eye to eye, we face our fears unarmed on the battlefield  
\- Jordin Sparks / Lea Michele

Lukas looked annoyed now. Perhaps he handled things poorly. He didn't get a chance to say anything as Torsten pushed him into the locker room like he was feeding him to a band of hungry sharks and closed the door behind them.

Bastian was on his feet in a matter of seconds.

"What the fucking hell, Lukas?!" He cried, startling everyone in the room with the rage he was exhibiting. "You think it's okay to just fucking take off and ignore me for a goddamn week?"

Lukas wasn't going to back down here either. With Bastian now his face he was going to stand his ground. The other members of the national team shared looks. It was Manu and Phillip, who stood close to the pair in case things went out of hand. But it was clear why Torsten called them in here.

"Fifty euros say that Poldi swings first," Thomas whispered at Marco and Mario who looked at him perplexed

"Dude, you're on," it was Jérôme. "Schweini is totally going to go all out on him."

Marco rolled his eyes, but Mario frowned. He was concerned for the duo. He had heard from Phillip what had occurred lately.

"Oh, I'm fucking sorry," Lukas sneered, that intense look of anger on his expression. This was quickly becoming a battle of pride. "It's every man's dream to see his supposed fucking _boyfriend_ propose to his pregnant ex-girlfriend."

Thomas' head snapped to the scene and beamed and started jumping up and down. "I knew it! I fucking knew it all along. You owe me five hundred euro Manu!"

Manu have his lover a look of disbelief and motioned for him to sit down. Jérôme looked half surprised at the disclosures. The others were unphased since they were already aware of their new found relationship.

"You knew?!" Thomas shouted at Manu as Marco and Mario pulled him back onto the bench. "You asshole. See if you get anything tonight!"

Jérôme shot his head to Thomas. He just couldn't believe what he was hearing. Lukas and Bastian didn't surprise him and he had already known about Marco and Mario, however, this surprised him. A lot.

“You and Manu?" Jérôme asked in hushed in tones

Thomas smirked and gestured at his torso. "He likes me for my body."

"Well, it's not because of your mature attitude, that's for sure." Marco whispered, making a brief laugh amongst the four of them.

Torsten shot the four a look and shook his head. Sometimes he swore was dealing with a group of kids. He was just glad Kroos wasn't here or else this whole affair would have been much uglier.

Bastian and Lukas were completely oblivious to the fact that there were other people in the room. They were lost in their own little angry bubble.

"Oh, you mean like you did with Monika you little fucking hypocrite!" Bastian retorted.

"You and I weren't a _thing_ back then were we?" Lukas snapped. "Had we been I wouldn't have fucking married her. A lot of WAGs and players can handle this double relationship thing, I can't. I don't share for any reason."

Bastian rolled his eyes. "Always Mr. rightcheous aren't you?"

"Oh fuck you, Bastian," Lukas pushed Bastian but he simply came back into Lukas' face, angrier than before. "When's the big wedding?"

"She said _no_ you fucker!" Bastian screamed, ignoring the softened look in Lukas' eyes. "Had you not been the coward you usually are you would have seen that!"              

The guys in the room flinched. This was not going to turn out well.

"I may be a coward, but at least I made you my first choice," Lukas tried keeping his emotions at bay. "You chose Sarah. You get to live with that."

That took Bastian back a bit. The anger started to lessen in him. The team shared a look of relief. Perhaps there would be no violence after all.

"What are you going on about?" Bastian asked, all anger seemingly gone. "You're my boyfriend. She's not-"

" _Was_ your boyfriend," Lukas whispered, the tears finding his eyes, but he refused to let them go.

Bastian looked as though someone hit him with a truck. "What do you mean _was…_ Luki..."

Bastian went to put his arm on Lukas' arm, but Lukas pulled away.

"No. You don't get to call me Luki anymore. We are done, _Bastian,_ ” Lukas replied softly. "From this day forward we are team mates. That's it. I can't pretend that I can handle being your friend when all I want is to be with you."

Bastian shook his head, grabbing Lukas' shoulders and looking into his eyes, desperation was evident. "Then why are you doing this!?"

Lukas pushed away from him once more. "You made your choice. Sarah won't marry you so suddenly I matter again? Fuck that. I'm no ones second choice. I lived that lie once. I won't ever do it again. I'm done."

"So... That's... It?" Bastian whispered, not believing what was happening.

Lukas shrugged, "I think so. I'll see you tomorrow at practice. Goodbye Bastian."

With that Lukas was gone. The whole room was silent. No one could believe what had just happened. Schweinski was truly done in every way. Not only the relationship, but the friends and the Bromance. Mario seemed the most shaken up. He idolized Bastian in every way. If a love like theirs couldn't last then what chance in hell would he and Marco have? Mario leaped off the bench and wrapped his arms about the stunned midfielder. Manu and Phillip followed suit. Thomas sat in his spot, stunned silence, a rare feat. Marco tried processing it all while Jérôme felt bad for them entirely. He had no clue how to handle this other than being there for his mates, which is precisely what he would answer. Anyway, he could. He stood up and shifted himself in between Thomas and Marco, just in case his support was required. Torsten was the most level headed out of anyone as he watched history repeating itself over again.

He quickly dialed a number and waited for it to be answered. "It's worse than I thought."

Bastian felt the three pair of arms wrap round him and he tumbled into them. Manu shifted the midfield so he took most of the weight of the two considerably shorter men. They eased him to the floor and just held him. Manu glanced up and found his lovers eyes in silent pleading. Thomas returned the same look. Previous comments forgotten, tonight they would find solace together. Mario felt the soothing hands, he had come to know well on his backbone and he desired to cling to Marco for dear life. It would have to wait until later.

Jérôme watched in reverence of the dynamic of the team change. The warrior, he admired for so long was a crumpled pile on the floor and around him, lovers sought silent comfort within each other. This is part of what made the team so strong. The love and respect for one another.

 

* * *

 

 _I never meant to start a war_  
You know I never wanna hurt you  
Don't even know what we're fighting for  
Why does love always feel like ...  
a battlefield  
\- Jordin Sparks

It was six in the morning when Sarah came charging into the room, waking Lukas up. He expected a lecture or something from her, but it didn't come. She was quite upset. Very, very upset. She didn't say anything either. She just threw the printed article at him and scurried out of the room. He was perplexed as to why she was up at this hour. He sat upright and shook his head. He grabbed the paper and looked down at it. This was a total nightmare.

** Bayern Munchen Manager & Former DFB Captain: Gay Lovers! **

Underneath the title was a photograph of the pair inside Torsten's office in a heated and compromising situation. Underneath the photo the caption reads:

Torsten Frings and Michael Ballack spotted in a heated kiss inside Frings Bayern Munich office. Ballack's former manager, Michael Becker confirms the couple have been together since 2001.

"Oh my god," Lukas whispered and grabbed his phone.

There was an email from Torsten, informing the team there was to be a press conference at the arena at 8am. There was a meeting with the team to take place beforehand at 7:00am sharp instead of practice. Attendance is mandatory. Meet on the pitch. Lukas tossed the covers off him and sped into the shower. He was done in record time and grabbed the new Bayern Munich track suit he had been given the day before and quickly changed. He threw the stuff he needed into his bag and headed out into the kitchen where Sarah, Heidi and Monika sat, eating. Thither was a plate of sausage, eggs and bread sitting waiting for him. He just stared at it. Monika and Sarah looked at him with a pointed look. He gave Heidi a look that pretty much asked how dead he was and she granted him a distressing face. This was likely his last meal.

He set his suitcase down by the doorway leading to the kitchen and sat down. There were two possible ways to do this. Eat quickly as possible and slip away before they can do anything or slowly and trust they take pity.

"Don't even consider trying to sneak out," Monika stated taking a sip of her coffee.

Lukas swallowed the sausage he was consuming and lay his head downwards like a bruised kid.

"Why Lukas..." Sarah looked at him like he was an imbecile. "Of all the stupid things to do..."

"I mean no offense to either of you when I say this," Lukas started as both women shot daggers at him with their eyes. "I was someone's second choice before. I wasn't..."

Sarah threw her hands in the air, exasperated. "You are... God damnit Lukas. You have never been his second choice. You have always been number one. Even when he and I were together!"

"He started dating Sarah once I got pregnant and..." Monika started

"He was with Daniela until Christmas then..."

Sarah winced at the name Daniela. The two of them got into a few confrontations in the beginning of her relationship Bastian. Amongst them included Daniela calling her a gold digger and beard. In one instance, she even as far as to tell Sarah that he would never love her as much as he did Lukas.

"We set about going steady in August," Sarah pointed out. "Right when she found out she was pregnant and that you were going to marry her."

Lukas grumbled and growled to himself. "It's still not right what he did."

"No," Monika said, producing a facial expression that could kill from Sarah. "It wasn't. He responded and handled it totally amiss. He acted like you..."

"Hey!" Lukas protested

"Well, it's true," Heidi said, observing the conversation. "You're like the master of reaction. He must have learnt that trait from you."

Everyone looked at Heidi in surprise. Normally she was quiet and stayed out of the discussions when they were heated simply to keep her relationships with everyone neutral. She gave everyone a bashful look before popping another bite of food in her mouth and stared at the plate.

"See!?" Monika exclaimed as she motioned in Heidi's direction. "What he did was probably not the best way to handle it. But was breaking up with him really the..."

"He ended it when he proposed. He knows my values," Lukas said sternly as he got up from the table. "He was staying true to his own and I understand, but he didn't for a second think of me or my feelings. I was his fucking boyfriend for goodness sake. No one wants to see their boyfriend propose to someone else."

With that, Lukas grabbed his bag and stormed out the door. Monika and Sarah shared a look with one another while Heidi continued to gaze at her plate.

"That storm out was entirely feminine," Heidi mumbled to herself, causing the two other women to gaze at her. The girl blushed again. "What?!"

 

* * *

 

 _No blood will spill if we both get out now_  
Still, it's hard to put the fire out  
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield  
We seemed like a good idea…  
\- Lea Michele  
  
 **Arena**

 

Bastian was sitting at midfield, staring off into the distance. Not looking at anything in particular, simply gazing. He couldn't sleep when he got the text. He just showered, got dressed and decided to walk to the arena. Thankfully it had been opened to key holders and he had spent the last few hours just sitting there. Phillip, naturally, was the first to arrive at the pitch. He chose a position next to Bastian and sighed in defeat.

"It's not right, what's happening," Phillip whispered, referring to Torsten and Michael. "Someone on the team took the photo and sold it to Bild. Now there's a witch hunt out for them."

Bastian nodded. His heart broke for the pair. He knew just how bad the press could be with homosexuality. He had enough articles posted about him regarding his odd friendship with Lukas and on the pitch was even worse. An Argentinian even went as far as to take hold of his head and put it as his crotch, making a snide comment about sucking his dick just like Lukas likes it. Homophobia in football was disgraceful.

"They will be fine," Phillip mused as he gazed at the roof. "They have to be. If they can't make it then what hope is there for the rest of us?"

Bastian shrugged. "None when it comes to Lukas and I."

"Congrats, by the way," Phillip softly stated with a smile. "Children are a blessing."

"Yeah," Bastian sighed, "they are."

"You know Lukas wasn't wrong this time," Phillip suggested, knowing this was starting to be difficult since Bastian was a man of pride. "You did propose to your ex without thinking about your boyfriend. I would have pretty much reacted the same way."

Bastian considered this. He had set the blame on Lukas without considering his purpose in it entirely. He thought about how he felt when he found out Lukas was marrying Monika. He was broken down in so many ways and they weren't even together at the time.

"Fuck," he cursed to himself, laying back on the pitch. "I didn't even think about it. I just..."

"Acted like Lukas?" Phillip laughed

"Shut up," he grumbled. "I'll speak to him when I can catch a chance without the asshole who caused this mess with Micha and Torsten aren't around."

"FIPS! Schweini!" A voice Phillip knew all too well bellowed out

Phillip spun his head around and broke into a megawatt smile. Bastian watched with a smile as Phillip leaped to his feet and tore at the shaggy blonde man, springing into his arms in an embrace.

"Timo! Good to see you, man!" Bastian jumped up and jogged over to the couple.

Timo released Philipp and wrapped his arms around Bastian and practically spun the midfielder.

"You beast!" Timo exclaimed as he released Bastian. "Looks like we have some support here today. I saw pretty much the entire 2006 team outside getting ready to come in."

Bastian nodded, "not really a surprise. We aren't just club team mates. We are all family. Mess with one, you mess with us all."

Timo agreed with Bastian. "Mom and dad have always been there for us. Now it's time for us to be the rock."

It was in that moment that Lukas walked in, arm around Thomas Hitzlsperger's shoulder. Bastian knew it was innocent. It made the most sense for Hitz being there. He was the only one of the team mates he's ever played with that openly came out to being gay. But the whole scene made Bastian jealous as hell. That was _his_ Lukas. Instinct told him to grab Lukas and make that very clear to anyone who was around, but that wasn't the smartest move at the second. Not with the mess at the moment. Logic told him to preserve calm and simply let it be. His head, though, that told him to simply bring back the jealousy right back to Lukas.

Logic was just for the pitch at times. Not in matters of the heart. He knew he fucked up with everything but he would fix things. Him and Lukas were for life. There is no doubt whatsoever about that. Bastian put on his best front and walked over to the pair. He ignored Lukas and pulled Hitz into an embrace.

"Hitz! Jesus buddy!" Bastian exclaimed as he pulled away from the embrace, then wrapped his arm around his waist and walked with him towards Timo and Philipp who were watching with amusement. "How have you been?"

Hitz rolled his eyes, fully aware of the situation between Bastian and Lukas thanks to Timo's updates. He always loved Schweinski though, so he didn't entirely mind being part of the reason they drive each other insane to the point of fixing things. He noted the expression of sheer jealous rage on Lukas' face and took advantage of the situation and set his arm around Bastian's shoulder.

If looks could kill, the two of them would have struck down dead right then and there.

"Fifty Euro..."

"Seriously?!" Manu shouted as he and Thomas watched the events around them. "You just don't stop, do you?"

Thomas winked at his lover and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "You didn't want me to stop last night, did you?"

Manu tried to surpress the blush. Now was not the time. He looked at Thomas with mock irritation.

"I detest you, sometimes."

Manu walked towards where the former German goalie was standing, shaking his head.

Thomas laughed, "you love it!"

With that, Thomas ran to catch to with Marco and Mario who appeared to be rather stressed by the new events that have arisen. Thomas plopped himself between them and wrapped his arm around their shoulders.

"Why the glum faces?"

The two boys looked at him with a face that distinctly said ’you're kidding, right?’ However, in typical Thomas fashion he shrugged it away.

"Fifty euro says one of schweinski boys come out of the closet during the press conference."

"Okay, ramdeuter, that's enough," Manu said coming out of no where and grabbing his lover by the shoulder, dragging him away from the pair and anyone else who could be used as a bet. "Leave them be."

Thomas sighed in momentary defeat. He recognized at this stage he didn't stand a chance.

"I'm attempting to brighten the mood," Thomas said softly

Manu stopped mid step and turned to his boyfriend with a glum expression. He knew Thomas meant well. This was just how he handled situations. He was the team goof and one of the most off the wall people he knew, but that was why he loved him.

"I know," Manu whispered in response, looking around to see who was near them. "Babe, this is a big deal. You already know that. Look at how the media and fans are handling this. Social media is being cruel. How many of us are potentially affected by this? Careers could be destroyed..."

Thomas shook his head, "let them find out. I don't really care. If it destroys my career than it's their loss. Why should any of us suffer to be in hiding? Maybe this is what we need. I think now is a time to take a stand."

Manu shook his head, "that's admirable. Your spirit and your spirit are one of the things I love most about you. Only don't do anything crazy today, ok? Promise me?"

Thomas nodded in defeat. Manu hugged him and whispered 'ich leibe dich' in his ear before leading him to midfield where everyone had gathered for the meeting.

 

Bastian and Lukas were on either side of Hitz, arms folded and looking like two scorned children. This caught the eye of Michael and Torsten as they walked together towards the gathering of players at midfield. It was a sight that made Torsten grin despite the fact his life was in a vicious tail spin.

"I would wish to thank you all for meeting me here," Torsten started, commanding the attention of the group. "I'm well aware I'm quite late so save the smart Alec comments, Müller."

"You're late, boss!" Thomas stated in any case

The group shared a laugh as Arjen gave Thomas a playful shove.

"In a matter of minutes, we will be all commencing into the main hall where the press conference is set to take office," Torsten continued, "it would seem that the media and many of the fans are looking for me to be taken out as manager."

"What?!" That was Bastian.

"That's bullshit!" Lukas shouted

"I say we strike! Refuse to play!" Thomas advised

"Gentlemen, quiet down. I have been assured that the panel will not be replacing me," there was a unison sigh of relief amongst the group. "If you look around you, three of you are missing. Three of your fellow Bayern Munich team mates have demanded transfers and while the window to act so is rapidly approaching it is probable that they will be moved soon. Two needed to be traded simply because they couldn't dare to trust me and the other was the one who outed Micha and I."

"Then it's true then," Arjen asked

Torsten nodded, "Yes. Micha and I have been together a long time now. Part of the reason I called you all, here is to give you the chance to walk away."

Everyone turned to Arjen as though they expected him to leave after the question he asked. He raised his hands in surrender.

"I give Torsten and Micha my full support," Arjen stated. "Netherlands was the first nation to legitimize same gender wedding, remember? I just wanted to know that this was the battle we were fighting. Numerous team mates on the Netherlands as well as this squad are in same sex relationships. I wouldn't be here if I didn't extend my support."

"I never doubted you, Robben, the guys are on the edge I do believe," Torsten explained relieving a nod in agreement from Arjen. "Anyone else want to leave?"

Everyone looked around, but no one moved.

"Good," Micha spoke out. "This is going to likely get ugly. We value your support."

"Franck is gone, isn't he?" Mario asked, looking around the group

Torsten nodded, "unfortunately, yes he is. He is moving to Manchester United. Hence why I was thus late."

There were comments being hurled around the group - largely in relation to his faith. This didn't sit comfortably with their Manager.

"Enough!" Torsten shouted. "Do not preach for fairness for me and Micha when you are spreading hate right now. I have no tolerance for any of it! Gratefully, though, while we are taking a sizable fee for him we are also hoping on making a very valuable player. Things will be discussed further today."

Arjen grinned, he was already aware of what was going on. Bastian caught the grin on Arjen's face and a minuscule pinch of hope found his eyes.

"No way, really?!" Bastian was like a child in a candy shop at the moment. "That would be awesome."

"Now, now, Schweini," Torsten said amused. "Let's not make presumptions. Talks are still in the works, but we won't have him move easily, regardless of reasons."

"Frings, Ballack!" Karl Hopfner shouted from the edge of the pitch. "They're ready for you."

"It's now or never gentlemen," Torsten said with a sigh.

Torsten and Michael embraced quickly before moving around and walking side by side towards the sharks waiting for them. The boys of Bayern Munich and former mates from the DFB behind them. As they approached the exit, a voice cried out to them. Jaws dropped all around.

"Oliver fucking Kahn!" Michael shouted as he shared a man hug with the former German captain. "I was wondering when your ugly mug was going to show."

"You were the last person I expected to see," Hiltz said almost bitterly.

"I figured you guys might need some back up," he said with a grin. "I found someone at the train station too."

"MIRO!!!" That was Thomas, who tackled his  Opa as he frequently named to him as.

"Torsten!" Karl called out, impatiently. "Now!"  


* * *

  
 _Don't want to think about it_  
I'm fuckin' tired of getting sick about it  
Now stand back up and be a man about it  
And fight for something  
\- Marianas Trench

 

The group quickly quieted down and stuck with their manager/former captain/friend/former team mates into the shark pen. The place was completely packed. The second the couple got into perspective they were bombarded by yelling members of the press as easily as a blinding array of flashes from cameras. No one spoke a word. Everyone kept walking straight with their heads up and faces in battle mode. Somehow, through the shuffle, Bastian and Lukas found their way beside one another. Lukas brushed his hand against Bastian’s – to anyone who may have noticed, it would have looked like their hands touched from the motion of walking, but to Bastian it was a clear indication that things weren’t as bad as he thought. The group of men had no where to sit, instead they used up to making a U shape around the members of the press, facing Torsten, Michael and Karl. It took the press a few minutes to finally settle down enough to allow the conference to begin.

               “Members of the press, fans, players and everyone else, thank you for attending this press conference,” Karl began, an obvious bitter tone to his voice. “Before I hand things over to Torsten Frings and Michael Ballack, I would just like to make a statement on behalf of FC Bayern Munchien regarding Fring’s future with the club. The board, at this time, cannot justify removing Mr. Fring from his position with the club.”

               The press exploded, obviously the vast majority of them didn’t agree with this assessment.

               “There will be no further remark regarding the conclusion,” Karl said firmly, “I will immediately give this over to Torsten Frings.”

               Again, the media began talking all at once and at a mile a minute. It was all a lot to keep track of. Torsten handled it like a professional, like he did with everything.

               “I would like to start off by thanking FC Bayern Munichen… the fans, the board, the players… everyone involved. Your support in this matter has been nothing short of amazing and I thank you for that,” Torsten said with a slightly annoyed tone towards the press. “As for the images released to Bild last night… I thought coming here today and saying they were photoshopped or making up something else and refusing it. However, I am in a position where I am a role model and a mentor, not just to my players, but to other footballers, athletes around the world and my friends.”

               “So you are gay?” a reporter shouted out

               Torsten shot the guy a dirty look, but continued, “How can I in a right mind preach to those who mean the most to me about being honest to themselves when I cannot manage the same myself? Am I in a relationship with Michael Ballack? Well, yes I am. We have been together since 2001.”

               That was about all it took. There was an explosion of screaming from the press asking questions and making remarks, sounds of cameras going off – absolute bedlam. Michael whistled into the microphone, effectively silencing the chaos.

               “If you would try to go on some manner of sanity, we would be willing to answer any appropriate questions you may have,” Michael said glaring at the scenery in front of him.

               From the group, Bastian and Lukas shared a look. No words were needed to be spoken. It was almost as though that with that very look everything was forgotten and the pair just needed each other.

               “Who sent in the pictures? Do you know?”

               “We are aware of who sent in the photographs,” Torsten replied, getting a look of shock from the supporters they had around the room, “However, we will not be discussing that. It is irrelevant.”

               “Was it a player? Does it have to do anything with one of the three players on your roster who are rumored to be leaving?”

               “No comment in regards to whom it was,” Torsten repeated, “As for the three players who have asked to be transferred. They wish to leave under their own beliefs and reasons that I do not have the right to discuss. You will wholly receive your chance to discuss that with them in the coming days once things have been made final.”

               “Why not come out prior to being pulled out of the closet?”

               Micheal tackled this one, “Look around yourselves and you tell me. The fact that this is a big enough thing to cancel a team training session and call a conference is a huge indication as to why only a smattering of players have ever come out in football. Do we cancel practices and address the press every time a new WAG comes around? No. No one wants their personal life thrown through the dirt like this.”

               “What do you hope comes from all of this? Do you expect other gay football players to come out?”

               “I expect nothing,” Torsten replied simply, “I desire to be naught more than a factor in what I desire will eventually contribute to the acceptance of homosexuality in football. For every voice that stands up and comes out, then I would hope acceptance will grow. It took more and more men of various nationalities to play the game for their to be a level of acceptance there.”

               “Even with racism still so present in football, leaps have been made and if we can establish a shift than great. We have achieved something,” Michael went on.

               “No one else will come out,” a reporter said with a snarky note. “You honestly believe anyone else will stand up and just say ‘I’m gay’ without being trapped like you two were?”

               “I hope no one else has to be forced out,” Torsten commented, “It is something that players and staff alike should feel safe in sharing the same way any of our players are free to be with their wives or girlfriends.”

               “You recognize it won’t occur,” the same reported retorted, “it’s a pipe dream.”

               “I-“ Torsten started, but was unexpectedly interrupted.

               “I’m in a relationship with another guy!” a voice from within the players shouted, causing everyone in the room to look at them in shock. It was Thomas who stepped forth.

               Manu looked like he was going to faint and shot his lover a look that was unexplainable. Somewhere between ‘what the fuck’ and ‘are you crazy?’. The crowd became irate as Thomas walked away from the players and stood at the front of the press.

               “I am married to Lisa,” he continued, “but for the last few years I have been with a wonderful man that I love dearly and frankly, I am sick and tired of having to hide it.”

               “Is it another player?” one reporter asked as Karl set Thomas up in his seat and walked off to the side

               “No comment,” was his answer, “I am not about to sit here and play the he’s gay, he’s Bi game with you vultures. You said no one else would stand up and say something so here I am. I'm a bisexual. So what of it anyways? Does it affect my style of play? No. Does it affect the way that I score goals? Not a chance.”

               There was an explosion of cheers from the players around the press, Manu quiet possibly being the loudest. He wasn’t ready to walk up there, but the amount of pride he had for his boyfriend was astronomical. Thomas had always been a more out there, in your face type of person. He didn’t care what other people thought and was fortunate to have a family who supported him no matter what. Manu would possibly say something in time but today was not that day.

               “Aren’t you the slightest bit concerned about how it may affect your career? Sure, FC Bayern Muchen won’t fire you because of it, but what is to allege that the National Team won’t?”

               Thomas laughed, “Let them. If my sexuality is more important to them than my performance on the pitch, then it is their loss. I was the stop scorer in 2010 and second in 2014 at the World Cup.”

               “Thomas, why come out? What about your wife?”

               “Why not come out? What am I coming out of anyway? A perferbeal closet? I mean come on, really? This is silly,” he answered in his usual manner. “As for my wife, she is very much aware of my relationship with my boyfriend. My relationship with him, nor my wife is any of your business. I will not remark on either.”

               “So, you’re saying she’s a gold digger, basically?”

               Thomas stood up, fuming, “Oh shut your fucking mouth. I love my wife very much.”

               This was just getting worse for Thomas and Bastian’s heart broke for him. He knew about the real deal regarding his relationship with Lisa and Manu, having discussed it a few nights back while enjoying a drink after practice. Lisa was his best friend in every aspect, very much his sister. Lisa was romantically involved with Thomas’ cousin, Abby and the two were never able to show their feelings for each other in fear of their families and with Thomas being stuck hiding his relationship with Manu and Lisa’s brother hiding his own, the pairs married off. It was a cluster fuck and hard as hell, but it worked. He did love Lisa though, there was no refusing that. But not in the manner he loved Manu, just as she didn’t love him the same way. Bastian considered his choices. He could speak out and defend his teammate and friend or he could save him from the savage beating he was no doubt going to get. He took a deep breath and went to step forward when Lukas grabbed his hand in a panic.

               “What the hell are you doing?” Lukas whispered, trying to keep Bastian in his spot

               Bastian locked eyes with him and threw him a gentle grin. “What I need to.”

               As the media continued their assault on the young player, Bastian made his way to the table and standing at the center of it he whistled and got the attention of the room.

               “I am bi-sexual, at least I think I am,” Bastian said nervously, suddenly questioning what he was doing. His entire future on the pitch was at risk but part of him didn’t care. He had accomplished all of his goals, with the exclusion of a European Championship. “I have only ever been genuinely attracted to one man in my life and I’m not ashamed to state that I am in love with him. Take that however you want. I’m tired of watching three of my friends get hounded for something that everyone has a right to have.”

               “He loves me…” Lukas whispered to himself, or so he thought.

               “You just figure that out now, kid?” It was Oliver

               “By outing yourself, you are also outing Lukas Poldolski, you are aware of that aren’t you?”

               Lukas’ head shot towards the reporter. Of course they would know it was him, who else could it have possibly been? There was no arguing this, was there? What would this mean for Louis? Terror spread across his. Louis. He was getting enough hounding from the press thanks to his mothers and Sarah’s relationship… but his with Bastian? This was starting to impact his son's life in all the ways he never desired.

               “Am I? Because what’s too say I’m not with Thomas over there?” Bastian asked sending Thomas a wink, telling him to go with it without confirming or denying anything. He wouldn’t exactly be lying to the press with the next remark. “Lukas Podolski isn’t my boyfriend, my best friend, yes. But we are not in a relationship with each other.”

               “So you are with Thomas?”

               “Perhaps he is,” Thomas shrugged, “Maybe he’s not. Doesn’t matter either which way now does it?”

               “There’s speculation that your ex-girlfriend Sarah Brandner is expecting a child…”

               “I have no remark on that,” Bastian cut off the reporter. “This has nothing to do with her or any of the WAGS, past or present. Nor with our families.”

               “Schweini, you are anticipated to carry over as Captain of DFB in the wake of Philipp Lahm’s retirement…”

               “Am I worried about whether or not I will still get too? Like Thomas stated, my sexual preference should have nothing to do with how I perform on the pitch or my leadership skills. If they do then there isn’t much I can do.” Bastian said simply. “I have always been considered a leader, which is why I am up here right now. Leading by example. I know I will likely lose fans and possibly endorsements and that is disheartening, but there needs to be a change. It’s like what Micha said, if pictures of two men in love kissing cause this much chaos, then it's about time we stand up and put our best foot forward. As for my career – I am thirty years old. I have won seven Bundesliga titles, seven DFB-Pokal titles, a champion league title,  a World Cup and many more titles. I have accomplished everything I ever desired to accomplish. Would I wish to win a European Championship with Germany? Of course I would, however, if that is not to happen then I can live with the fact that I have a blessed career. Once I retire and fade off radar, my sexuality will no longer matter.”

\----  
 _Don't you move_  
Can't you stay where you are, just for now  
I could be your perfect disaster  
You could be my ever after  
\- Marianas Trench  


               This is the kind of questions that continued to be pressed into the four men for the next twenty minutes. No one else stepped forward, but no one else had too. Bastian, Thomas, Torsten and Michael stood together, connected and inspired hope for the future of homosexuality in football. Lukas and Manu shared a pride for their men that only they could understand at that moment. These four have truly been leaders in every aspect of the word.

               “I will be joining them,” Manu whispered to Lukas as they made their way back to the pitch, “Once I have a talk with my family.”

               Lukas nodded, “It takes courage. I would have but…”

               “Louis,” Manu finished, “I understand.”

               The second they stepped out onto the pitch, Lukas’ eyes began searching furiously. He needed Bastian, and he needed him now. He was no where to be seen. None of them were there. He ignored everyone and everything around him and began a search around the arena. He checked the offices, the main lobby, the training facilities… everywhere. He even checked the pitch again, but nothing. Then he realized he hadn’t checked the locker rooms. He tore down into the main locker room area but nothing. When he saw Manu and Thomas walking out of the visiting team locker room Lukas smiled and jogged past the pair into the room. Bastian was standing in the center of the room, talking to Torsten, Hitz and Michael. The sound of the door opening got their attention. Bastian immediately dismissed himself from the group and ran over to Lukas, wrapping his arms around him.

               “Basti…” Lukas started

               Bastian cupped Lukas’ face with his hands and locked eyes with him, “Don’t. I am sorry, Luki, so very sorry. I was attempting to do the right thing and I knew all along what it would mean for you and me. It killed me to know that if she had said yes that I would be losing you. Deep down I think I knew she would say no. I need you, Luki.”

               Lukas smiled and rubbed his nose against Bastian’s, taking in his smell. The delicious scent he had enjoyed all along. Bastian Schweinsteiger was his, now and evermore. He loved this man, he loved everything about him. Nothing and no one was ever going to change that.

               “Basti… you said…” Lukas whispered, pulling Bastian closer to him, and then their bodies were pushed against each other and he laid his forehead on Bastian’s.

               Bastian rubbed his nose against Lukas’ again and smiled, “I love you, Lukas. I always have.”

               Lukas couldn’t suppress the tears that had found his eyes. This sent Bastian into a  state of terror.

               “Luki… why are…”

               Lukas kissed him tenderly, knowing it was the sole means to quieten him. “Happy tears. I love you too, Bastian. Always will.”

* * *

 

_And there is the end of Part One. Part Two will be entitled “You’re Mine” and will begin with Chapter 10. You didn’t really think I was going to leave them apart did you? :p The rollercoaster isn’t over yet. One of them is out – how will this affect Bastian and Thomas’ careers and impact their lives and their relationships?_


	11. Part Two: Back at the Beginning; Chapter One: Falling Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a short one. Things are... shifting. I just really wanted to set the tone for the rest of the part for you.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Part Two: Back at the Beginning; Chapter One: Falling Fast  
> Author: chibiihealz  
> Rating: M  
> Warnings: Fluff, sexual acts, language  
> Pairing: Schweinski (Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski) *MAIN* / Sarah Brandner & Monika Podolski / Michael Ballack and Torsten Frings / Mario Gotze and Marco Reus / Manuel Neuer and Thomas Muller  
> Language: English  
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, they're not mine.Nothing has ever happened.

**Part Two.**  
Back at the Beginning  
Chapter One  
Falling Fast  
  


 

**_2014_ **

Have you ever just wanted a do over? A chance to change your life? Yea. That's what Bastian wanted sometimes. A chance to re-do everything. Certain things he would always want the same - like Louis. Louis was everything to him and he loved him like a son. Beside him, though - there was so much he wishes could be done differently.

It was following the MLS all star game. Lukas and Bastian were laying on the Balcony of the hotel room, watching the stars. It was the break they needed. Bastian's knee was pretty beat up and it was unclear when he would be able to play again. Their world, on top of that, was falling apart at the seams. The measure of hate directed towards himself and Thomas was unreal. He knew that had this all happened differently, everyone could have been protected. No one's life would have been turned upside down and pulled asunder. They handled it all wrong - he realized that now. Only he didn't regret it. He never would. He just couldn't. He had Lukas now, life was exactly how he wanted it to be.

There was a shooting star flashing through the night. Bastian had his arm around his lover, moments away from sleep when the star caught his eye. He closed his eyes and as he slipped into a peaceful slumber, he quickly made the wish to get the opportunity to change things.

 

* * *

 

**2004**

Bastian Schweinsteiger walked out onto the pitch with a sense of awe. He had been playing for the elite Bayern Munich since he was fifteen - his favorite team growing up. He had signed with their youth team in 1998. Now - he was being called to the German National Teams U-21 squad for their 2004 European Championship.

More frequently than not - this was the team the German Coaches looked too when they asked to call up players. His biggest dream - one of winning the FIFA World Cup was one step closer.

He had met a few of the guys on the squad before, but there were many faces he didn't quite recognize. He wasn't the only one out on the pitch. He noticed another young man standing there, looking as amazed as he was. He was about his height with buzzed brown hair and was dressed in the same track suit as he was. It was the bag sitting beside him that gave him away - Podolski.

He had heard of the name before. An FC Köhl player. The player who in 2003 has racked up 10 goals in his first 19 appearances - the best tally by an eighteen year old in the chronicle of the Bundesliga. This forward had a bright career.

 

"Lukas Podolski," Bastian said with a grin as he approached the other teen.

Lukas spun around and in the instant their eyes met they knew nothing would ever be the same. It was like a jolt of electricity surged through them. Neither of them understood it - and it left them both confused, but the chemistry was as clear as day.

Lukas stared at the young man, quickly throwing off the emotions creeping up on him. He knew that face anywhere. Bayern Munich's wonder boy.

"Bastian Schweinsteiger," Lukas responded, holding out his hand, "the wonder boy Midfielder."

"The boy with the rocket for a left foot," said Bastian as he shook Lukas' hand, somewhat surprised by the shock from the touch. "Ready for this tournament?"

That was really the beginning of it all. They pretty much became inseparable from that moment on. Instant best friends. From long nights playing video games and talking about girls for endless hours training - the two could always be found with one another. They were even called up to the National Team together on June 6th, 2004 and would follow the squad together  in the Euro Cup.

The duo was relatively unknown to the world as a pair until 2005's Confederation Cup.

 

Their goal celebration became a hot topic and it didn't take long for the world to find out that these two were different. They were a breather of fresh air to the Germans known cool exterior. Schweinski was born.

The semi finals of the confederations cup were upon them. After their heart break defeat in 2002 at the World Cup finals, Germany was still looking to make an impact; to show they still had it. They were set to face Brazil - the very team who tore their dreams of a World Cup win - a fourth star - away from them.

Adriano scored in the 21st moment. The German's felt the pain of three years ago rise up once more, but Lukas wasn't having it. Two minutes later he scored a beautiful goal. Bastian was right there in seconds to celebrate along side with him. They equalized the game.

Riding high through the first half, they came to a crashing halt when at the 43rd minute,

Ronaldinho scored. The human beings responsible for their loss three years prior had just seemingly taken their hopes away yet again. This time, it was Michael Ballack who showed no mercy. But mere moments later in penalty minutes, he scored. Once again the game was tied.

The second half was hard fought for a game winning goal. Both teams wanted it bad. Brazil wanted to keep the momentum of the World Cup alive and Germany wanted to prove their worth. The game winning goal came in the 76th minute.

To Brazil.

Despite knowing they had one game left - the battle for third place - the hearts of the players were once again broken. Especially among the youngsters. What would this signify for their future with the national team?

 

 _I'm falling fast_  
I hope this lasts  
I'm falling hard for you  
I say "Let's take a chance"  
Take it while we can  
I know you feel it too

 

Lukas and Bastian returned to their hotel room feeling utterly defeated. Lukas collapsed on the bed, still fully clothed, and embraced the pillow. Bastian threw both their bags down and headed over to where Lukas laid. Their absences had brought them nearer together and their time during the confederations cup did something different entirely. The lines they had drawn between best friends and unknown territory had become blurry. They knew they were something - however, they weren't quite sure what that was. He laid down beside Lukas and cautiously wrapped his arm around the distraught forward.  This somehow felt like déjà-vu; like this was something they had done time and time again when it wasn't. Bastian laid down beside his best friend and was almost surprised when Lukas flipped himself around and buried his head into his chest. Bastian was stunned for just a matter of moments, but quickly wrapped his arms around him again in a close hug.

The two lay in that spot for a few moments before Lukas finally broke the contact. He drew back only a bit - enough to look into Bastian's bright eyes with his own. It danced with confusion and wonder. Just a few years ago, they both had it all planned out. They would hit it big, marry a model, have stacks of kids and win the World Cup. They had talked about it more than a time or two. It was all perfectly planned. Yet somehow in that moment, none of it mattered. They both wanted it.

Curious Lukas was always leading the cautious Bastian into the lands of the unknown. It was part of what made the pair so close. Bastian had always been careful and tedious while Lukas was more of a free spirit. They brought the best out in each other. Bastian had learned how to be a little more carefree and let his joker personality soar while Lukas became a tad more grounded when he asked to be. More disciplined when it mattered.

This made sense. They weren't just friends. Everyone already knew that. There was always something _different_ about them.

The outside world didn't matter at that moment. Laying on the bed weren't two rising football legends - no. At that moment they were simply two love struck teenagers with bad hair. This is what teenagers did right? Experimented?

Lukas brought his lips to Bastian's. It was light, feathery. Like carefully dipping a toe into the ocean before plummeting into the unknown. Lukas' nerves became shot and his stomach twisted into a knot. He could lose his best friend with that action. Nevertheless, for what he could gain, it was easily worth the risk.

Bastian was taken backwards, naturally. He had always had a strong pull to Lukas and admittedly found the polish born footballer attractive. He never said anything about it. He loved women and never had any attraction to a man before until now. He had never wanted to venture down that road more than he did at that moment.

Lukas felt pain, shock his system when Bastian didn't return the kiss. He slowly peeled himself off the bed, and turned away from his best friend with the intention of getting as far away as he could. He wanted to hide. If losing such an important game wasn't enough, he had to add utter rejection to it. Not that he was completely surprised. Bastian had always been shockingly reserved. Something like a _gay_ kiss would be out of the question. Lukas cursed himself.

 

What came next he had never expected.

 

Bastian leapt off the bed and grabbed Lukas' hand. He would be damned if he was going to just let his best friend walk away - especially after that display. He pulled Lukas close to him and spun him around. Their eyes locked with such intensity. Lust and love burning brightly. _Love._  Was that what this was between them? Neither of them was quite sure, but they sure as hell wanted to find out.

Bastian crashed his lips down on Lukas' with such demand. Lukas didn't hesitate in wrapping his arms round his neck and drew him nearer. Their bodies crushed together and they just couldn't find enough. Those pesky teenager hormones exploded around them. Bastian made quick work of Lukas' shirt, his breath hitching at the site of Lukas' slender frame.

 

"Yours," Lukas mumbled between kisses, "off, now."

 

Bastian smirked and peeled off his own shirt, tossing it onto the floor. His lips attacked Lukas' again as he pushed the forward onto the bed and straddled him. They wouldn't go all the way - not tonight. But they were starting to explore whatever this was.

Their makeout session lasted quite sometime. Each exploring one another's necks, often stealing a nibble and feeling every inch of their upper bodies. It was just so simple. Neither of them were virgins, but this felt so exhilarating. Unlike anything they had ever felt before. No woman had this kind of power over them and it was unlikely that they ever would.

The two laid cuddled into one another's arms, watching Troy on DVD. Lukas was quickly becoming hungry and his stomach made that perfectly clear. Bastian chuckled at the sound of Lukas' stomach and reached beside him, gathering the room service menu in his hands.

 

"Let's see what I can order my boyfriend for dinner, shall we?" Bastian said quietly, unsure of how Lukas would take that sediment.

Lukas beamed as he sat up and locked eyes with Bastian, "Boyfriend? I didn't know you were...."

Bastian suddenly felt ashamed. And horribly embarrassed. "I'm not... I just... You... I..."

Lukas smiled and leaned forward, kissing Bastian lightly. It was exactly what he wanted. Even if he didn't understand any of it. All he knew was he wanted this boy more than any World Cup championship. That said something. The kiss stunned Bastian, which only made Lukas' smirk grow by the time he stopped the kiss.

"Your boyfriend would actually like some strawberry cheesecake," Lukas said, bringing a facial expression of absolute shock from Bastian. "But first, you have to kiss me senseless for at least the following ten minutes."

So he did.


	12. If You Say So

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lukas has got a surprise for Bastian. How will Bastian react to it?
> 
> Will it be the start of something amazing for them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Part Two: Back at the Beginning; Chapter One: If You Say So  
> Author: chibiihealz  
> Rating: M  
> Warnings: Fluff, sexual acts, language  
> Pairing: Schweinski (Bastian Schweinsteiger/Lukas Podolski) *MAIN* / Sarah Brandner & Monika Podolski / Michael Ballack and Torsten Frings / Mario Gotze and Marco Reus / Manuel Neuer and Thomas Muller  
> Language: English  
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, they're not mine.Nothing has ever happened.

**Chapter two.  
If You Say So **

 

"I miss you," Bastian said with a sigh as he slid into his car outside of the stadium.

It had been almost six weeks since he last saw Lukas. They were now a couple - although no one knew. No one could ever know. The world wasn't ready for that yet and frankly, Bastian believed it never would be. It didn't matter though. He had Lukas now. Life couldn't get any better than this.

"I miss you too," Lukas said, attempting to hide the grin plastered across his face as he watched Bastian pull out of his spot from his car. "My meeting is beginning shortly. We will talk more later. Okay?"

               There was another long sigh. Bastian hated this distance. He just wanted Lukas with him every possible minute.

"We'll talk later," Bastian said quietly. "I love you, Luki."

Lukas grinned ear to ear. This wasn't how he imagined hearing it for the first time from him, but he wasn't any less ecstatic to hear it. He was practically giddy at the revelation from his boyfriend.

"I love you more," Lukas replied softly, knowing Bastian had probably been holding his breath in anticipation.

There was a breath, a pause and then Bastian responded, "if you say so."

 

There was a pause. Really nothing else needed to be said. With silent goodbyes, they hung up their cell phones. Bastian put his down on the chair beside him and just stared off into the dark. He felt calmer. Perhaps a little too calm. He usually only felt this way when Lukas was around. Only that wasn't possible. He was five hours away in Köln. He shook his head and turned the car over. He just needed to get out of there.

Lukas watched as Bastian pulled out of the parking lot with a dumb grin on his face. He was thus preoccupied with his target that he didn't observe the passenger side door open.

"You look like such a stalker right now," Michael stated with a grin as he slid into the seat

Lukas screamed. Like a little girl. Michael started laughing hard.

"Holy fuck, Micha. You're trying to kill me."

Michael shook his head with a short laugh. "I couldn't resist."

It took Lukas a few minutes to finally catch his breath and keep from having a panic attack. All the while, Michael couldn't stop laughing. Lukas failed to see the humor in the situation.

"Why haven't you told him?" Michael asked between laughter fits. "He's going to find out if he turns on any television or turns on the radio or anything. It's big news."

 

Lukas glared at Michael, "you know, I considered going to his place before you decided to scare the shit out of me!"

Michael laughed harder now. "Aww... Did I make Prince Poldi soil himself?"

Lukas slapped Michael. Hard.

"No!" Lukas retorted rolling his eyes. "Get out of my car before I have to explain to Torsten why his best friend’s body is all over the parking lot."

Michael raised an eyebrow at the younger player. "Poldi has a backbone. I'm liking it. Alright. Well, I'm out of here. Unlike you, I have a bed to go keep warm with my lover. Perhaps you should consider the same?"

Lukas watched in annoyance as Michael left the car. He sighed and turned on the radio. Sure enough a local station was talking about his transfer from Köln to Bayern Munich. The entire football world was exploding with buzz. Ten million euro is what it cost Bayern Munich to snag him.

Lukas shut off the radio and knew he had to get to Bastian before anyone else could tell him the news. Ideally, he would have liked to surprise his boyfriend on the pitch for practice in the morning, but he knew that Bastian would find out way before then and would likely be pretty upset about it.

Lukas turned the car over and quickly made his exit from the parking lot and began on the journey to Bastian's new condo in the swankier side of Munich. He hadn't ever visited it as of yet, but could only imagine how it looked. A footballer’s pad - equipped with all the latest technologies in television and consoles. A smile crossed Lukas' face as he thought of all the sleepless nights they could share together playing games and perhaps... Well, they weren't there yet. Soon.

Very soon.

Or so Lukas hoped at least. But with Bastian you never knew where he stood on that. Only time would tell.

There was already a gathering of reporters outside the condo building, no doubt looking for a comment or interview from his "best friend". But they looked quiet. Docile, even. Had Bastian passed through them they would be anything but? Lukas shut off the car and took a quick look round. He noticed out of the corner of his eye - a back door. That must have been how Bastian escaped the chaos. That was his only way of getting in without him knowing he was coming.

Lukas shut the Audi off and slipped out of it and into the back door undetected by the press. He slipped out his Nokia Razor phone and quickly looked at the address he had made a note of a few weeks back. Apartment 720. Lukas couldn't help but grin at the apartment number. It probably wasn't intentional. Hell, he knew it was unlikely that Bastian even noticed. But he noticed. It was their international numbers combined. Call it what you wanted, but Lukas called it fate.

He heard music playing in the apartment. Usher's "Yeah!" Lukas shook his head with a grin and quickly knocked on the door before taking off down the hallway with a snicker. He figured he would have some fun with this.

The music shut off and Lukas could hear the sound of the door unfastened. Bastian looked around and shrugged, thinking that perhaps the music was too loud and he was simply hearing things. Lukas waited a minute or two, then crept up to the door and with the music playing again, he knocked again. He ran down the hall and tripped. He cursed to himself and barely managed to scramble himself to his feet and round the corner before Bastian opened the door again.

 

"The fuck..." Bastian muttered to himself before going back inside and closing the door.

Lukas waited for the music to come on, but it didn't. He pondered his next move. He was sure that Bastian was close to the door, if not standing right behind it. He would have to wait. He walked along the wall and listened carefully. Sure enough, he could hear Bastian near the door. He did everything he could to suppress his laughter. It had been a while since he had pulled any pranks on Bastian. A few minutes passed and Bastian finally gave up. Lukas counted to thirty, knocked on the door and took off down the hall again.

Bastian swung the door open, looking irritated as all hell. "You're a fucking punk, whoever you are! Do it again and I'll hang you out to dry!"

Lukas nearly died of laughter. Bastian was right where he wanted him.

It took Lukas almost ten minutes to compose himself enough to walk down the hall as though nothing had occurred. He had to stop a few times to keep the laughter at bay. He got to the door and knocked on it. This time he didn't take off. He just hoped he could keep his composure long enough to have some more fun. He could hear Bastian swearing up a blue streak as he neared the doorway.

Bastian swung the door open again looking madder than hell. He didn't even look up at who was standing in front of him at first.

"I told you I was going to rip your fucking head off you..."

"Well, now," Lukas said with a smirk. "That's no way to greet someone now is it?"

 

Bastian's head shot upward. Lukas stood just inches from him. Bastian smiled ear to ear and pulled Lukas into a hug with an infectious laugh.

"You ugly bastard," Bastian laughed, knowing it was Lukas, who played the game with him. "I can't believe you did that."

Lukas laughed, unable to control himself. Bastian rolled his eyes and followed Lukas into the flat.

"I had to," Lukas said in-between laughter. "I couldn't resist. I'm sorry."

"No you're not," Bastian said, pinning Lukas against the wall. His voice was suddenly deep. Seductive. Lukas felt himself come undone with that tone. "But I can think of a few ways you can make it up to me."

 

Lukas grabbed the back of Bastian's neck and drew him in for a passionate kiss. It was filled with need, desire, want, passion and love. The two young adults craved each other in every way. The kiss didn't break for even a moment as the two stumbled into the bedroom. They had never gone all the way and it was unlikely that tonight would be that night, but that didn't mean they wouldn't work towards that goal.

Fifteen minutes of lip lock passed before Bastian came back to earth. He suddenly stopped kissing Lukas and pulled away from him. He was laying on over Lukas, staring into his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Bastian sounded confused, knowing Lukas should be in Köln right now preparing for the coming season.

"I retired from football," Lukas dead panned looking serious as a heart attack. "I came here to be your housewife."

Bastian rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay. Want to tell me the real reason now?"

Lukas pouted slightly. "You're no fun."

Bastian smirked at the younger man. "No. I'm not. Now talk or I will refuse to kiss you again."

Lukas looked at him in mock surprise before smiling ear to ear. "You are looking at Bayern Munich's brand new striker. I got transferred. Became official today."

Bastian froze. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He drifted away from Lukas and just gazed at the ceiling without saying a word. A big smile spread across his face. Lukas rolled over onto his side and watched Bastian process the news. He knew Bastian was in shock and likely very happy with the change. He recognized, nevertheless, there was a chance he wouldn't be completely supportive of it. He knew what that team meant to Lukas, it was precisely how Munich felt to Bastian.

"You left Köln?" Bastian asked almost not believing it, "You love Köln! That's your pride and joy!"

Lukas rolled his eyes, "there are many reasons. Bayern approached me, Schweini. Frankly it was the right move. For my career, for us. Köln will always be my home."

"But when Bayern Müchen comes knocking you answer that door," Bastian finished for Lukas.

He looked over at Lukas and grinned, then tackled him. Lukas knew this meant all concerns Bastian had were now gone. The two wrestled with one another until Lukas rolled a little too much and fell off the bed, taking Bastian with him. This time it was Bastian, who broke Lukas' fall. The two youngsters burst out laughing at their predicament. Lukas caught Bastian's eyes and lost himself in them. He leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips against Bastian's. The kiss was gentle and sweet. Tender.

"I love you, Basti," Lukas whispered, rubbing their noses together. "Forever and always."

"I love you, too," Bastian whispered, kissing him softly. "Forever and always."

\------

 

With the news of Lukas' transfer spreading through the media like a raging fire, Lukas was quickly embraced by Bayern's fans with open arms. His first appearance came in a pre-season friendly with Arsenal. The media were quickly comparing Bayern's newly signed Lukas Podolski to Arsenal's rising star striker in Robin Van Persie. Both young. Both expected to do amazing things and both new or relatively new to their clubs. It became less about the teams and more about these two men.

What had gotten to Bastian the most since Lukas' transfer was that the media had absolutely nothing to say regarding the whole "schweinski" thing. He figured the media would be all over it like white on rice, but it appeared to not be the case. Maybe he should just be grateful that the media is caring more about them as footballers than their speculation regarding their relationship. Bastian had to admit, albeit privately that he liked seeing him and his boyfriend in the papers even if it was unlikely that they would ever find out the truth. Though the lack of coverage or speculation made him wonder if there would still be an issue if it came out. Perhaps time would tell.

Lukas was nervous about the game. It was a big deal to him and rightfully so. Bayern Munich were the top team in the Bundesliga and was expected to do great things. If he failed he could be sacked before he even had any real chance. That would mean he would be back to barely seeing his boyfriend and that just wouldn't suffice. That would have to be his driving force.

The youngsters were starting together and stood beside each other for the anthems, their arms around one another's shoulder. Tonight they would finally have some peace and quiet for a while. Since being in Munich, Lukas had all of twenty minutes with Bastian alone. He had been so busy with the move and press and training that it was all just really hectic. But this was a fresh beginning for them both. Lukas would go home with his boyfriend to _their_ apartment and start a new chapter of their lives together. This thought alone was enough for Lukas to momentarily lose his hard exterior he generally kept on the line and smiled for just a moment. Frankly, he hoped no one caught it.

The game was relatively quiet for the first fifteen minutes. That was until Robin proved that he was intended to be a great and with an incredible display, he charged the ball crashing past Oliver Kahn. Oliver was furious as the youngster celebrated his goal. Oliver once again yelled at his defenders for their screw up and judging by the fans' reaction to the goal - they agreed with Oliver, as they generally did. As usual, Michael Ballack stepped between Kahn and his defenders and tried to bring the team back into the game. It didn't take much time at all. Lukas refused to go down without a battle. Not when there was so much at stake! Phillip, who had just been subbed on passed the ball to Bastian, who drove it up the midfield with speed and precision. As he came towards the goalie's box, two defenders closed in on him. He spotted Lukas coming up center with an open shot and quickly passed the ball to him and with the power of his left foot - Lukas sent it crashing into the net like a canon. The goalie never had a chance.

Lukas immediately turned and found Bastian coming towards him. The two shared a celebration much like their now famous confederations cup celebration and embraced. In that moment, Schweinski was reborn in the eyes and hearts of the fans and in the pens of the media.

In the second half, less than a minute in, Bastian got a leading pass from Lukas and managed to score. The field was set ablaze. The wonderkids won the game and fixed their spot among the upcoming legends of German football. Their entire future was bright with potential and hope.

 

The locker room welcomed Lukas in its usual fashion. Lukas came back to his spot to find his sneakers superglued to the floor and once in the shower - his clothes disappeared. All of which was done by Bastian as expected. Lukas had no troubles with walking around the locker room naked so he did precisely that. With no towel and no clothes he strutted around like he owned the place. Bastian was splitting a gut laughing - that was until he contracted a full on look at Lukas' naked form.

He has definitely been working out. A lot. His arms were more defined, a six pack was starting to chisel its way into his glorious abdomen, his legs were strong and dangerous and then there was his manhood. Bastian swallowed - hard. The polish born forward was well endowed. More so than he could have expected. He was turned on and at the moment was having a really hard time hiding it. This went mostly unnoticed by his mates. Well, except for Micha. He knew he had to save the midfielder before it got out of control.

 

"Schweini!" Micha shouted, throwing a towel in his direction, "showers yours now."

Bastian nodded slowly and without a word, bolted for the shower and despite being sore from an intense few days of training and a very physical game he turned the shower on cold. The colder the better at this point. He needed to calm down. He loved Lukas. There was certainly no denying that. Only he had never truly experienced sexual desires for him until that minute. He wanted Lukas and he wanted him bad. He had been with his fair share of women over the years. Nothing ever Serious and Never with a man. It was a big deal for both of them. This was going to have to take time. He wondered how Micha knew how he was feeling. He turned off the shower and leaned his head against the wall.

"Feel better?" It was Micha stepping into the shower meaning the majority of the team was gone. Micha refused to shower until the locker room cleared out to keep the players in line. He wasn't captain, yet but he was vice and it showed in more ways than not.

Bastian glanced over and nodded, "Yeah, better now. Where is everyone?"

"Gone," Micha responded as he turned the shower beside Bastian on and began washing off, "Lukas is changing still so you might want to wait a minute or two or else you might end up back in here. I say payback is in order."

Bastian smirked and wrapped the towel around his waist. He hesitated for a moment before he finally spoke up again. "Torsten?"

Micha smiled as he rubbed shampoo into his hair. "Yeah. Secret is safe with me and Fips."

 

Bastian stopped dead in his tracks. Fips?! Wouldn't that mean that Phil understood? Is he gay? Bisexual? Or just observant?

Micha noticed the look on Bastian's face and laughed lightly. "Timo."

That was all he had to say and frankly it made sense. The way those two interacted around one another during the confederations cup and games with Stuttgart. A smile crossed Bastian's face and without a word he nodded and walked out into the locker room. Lukas had managed to get his shoes unstuck from the floor of the locker room and was working on lacing them up when Bastian entered the room. Bastian walked passed Lukas and dropped his towel right in front of Lukas before making his way over to his clothes. Lukas noticed this.

Lukas looked over at Bastian and felt himself become entranced by the sheer beauty of his boyfriend. He was still boyish - much like he was but he was starting to form into a man. A glorious one at that. Lukas felt his pants get just a tiny bit tighter as he watched Bastian prepare to get changed. Bastian could feel his boyfriends eyes locked on him and he knew he had to take the chance for a little pay back.

"My shirt is soaked for some reason," Bastian asked as he turned around, exposing himself to his boyfriend and began to slip on a pair of boxer briefs. "Do you have one I could borrow?"

Lukas pouted slightly when Bastian covered himself up which didn’t go unnoticed. He threw Bastian a T-shirt and went back to tying his shoes disappointed. Though his eyes didn't stay down casted for long. Bastian had just slipped into a pair of sweats that hung dangerously low on his hips when Lukas decided to look up again. He couldn't take it anymore. He wanted his boyfriend. Now.

Lukas tore up from his seat and in two large steps was standing behind Bastian. Sensing his presence, Bastian turned around and was met by Lukas' lips crashing down on his own in a heated passion that made him melt for all the right reasons.

Bastian wasn't about to let Lukas know the affect he has on him though. He grabbed Lukas' hands and pushed him against the nearby wall and deepened the intensity of the kiss and took both ass cheeks in his hand and squeezed roughly receiving a loud moan from Lukas in return. Yes - he was in control.

Lukas was about to let his own hands wander when a voice interrupted them.

"You two should really be more careful," the voice belonged to Philipp Lahm who was returning to grab his car keys he left. A smirk was plastered on his face as the two men jumped away from each other obviously embarrassed.

Lukas was horrified. He had no idea how Philipp was going to react to it all. Was he going to flip? Was he going to out them? Make their lives hell? Bastian was just simply embarrassed. He pursed his lips in annoyance at the amused look Philipp gave them.

"Oh just wait until I tell Timo about this," he laughed getting a look of confusion from Lukas and an eye roll from Bastian.

"Taking the train to Stuttgart tonight?" Bastian asked non cholantly getting a curious look from Lukas.

"Nein," he responded simply. "Our season opener is here against them next week. He's staying with me for now."

It dawned on Lukas. "You and Timo?"

Philipp smiled and nodded, "almost a year now. Have a good night you two. See you Friday."

Lukas' jaw dropped. That was not what he had been expecting. Not by a long shot. Bastian threw a shirt over his head and smirked at Lukas.

"You knew?!" Lukas exclaimed loudly

"Micha told me tonight when I discovered that him and Torsten..."

"I knew it!" Lukas exclaimed and grabbed his bag before practically pushing Bastian out of the locker room. "Always knew mommy and daddy were a thing."

Bastian smirked and kissed Lukas quickly before they took a step away from each other and exited the arena. They took the time to sign autographs and take pictures with fans and even answered a few questions for the German media. They disappeared into Bastian's newly purchased Audi and took off into the night.

They drove in silence. A comfortable one. They were both tired which was normal after any game. Their night would be spent with a movie curled up on the sofa with one another. Very few words were spoken that night. They passed out in blissful exhaustion within a half hour of being home in each other's arms on the couch.

Just before exhaustion completely took them over, though, Bastian tightened his grip around his boyfriend with a sleepy smile on his face.

“I love you, Luki.”

Lukas nuzzled deeper into Bastian’s stomach and sighed happily. “I love you more, Basti.”

There was a brief pause then Bastian sighed and muttered, “If you say so.”

 

\----

 

_Hope you enjoyed it :D I gave a huge spoiler of what is too come for anyone who catches it. Not clues though. Don’t want to make you all rush to google and get spoiled!_


	13. Chapter Three: Two Become One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bastian has been out of it lately - really out of it. Lukas plans a surprise to help Bastian relax. The truth as to why Basti has been AWOL emotionally lately. The boys take their relationship to the next relationship in a big way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note before we get into this chapter. Bastian is a Leo and it shows a lot on the pitch. He's very much a Lion. I do believe he would be like that in real life. I have dated my fair share of Leo men and a good chunk of my friends are also Leo's so I really dug into my own knowledge to write much of his personality in this chapter - especially in more heated aspects of this chapter. I just really wanted to get deeper into the guys as characters and get into a part of their personalities that I don't feel are often portrayed.

 

 

**Chapter Three  
Two Become One**

 

Bastian opened his eyes. He wasn't in the apartment. Frankly, he didn't know where he was. But it looked like a hallway of some sort. He looked around him attentively. Almost everything was white. He was wearing all white. He raised an eyebrow curiously. Was he dead? Was this heaven?

He called out, but no one answered. He felt thoroughly unsettled. He had no idea where to go. He settled on a path and walked cautiously.

The path was covered in moving images of his life. His birth. First steps. Silence first words. First day of school. First football. First time on the slopes... It was all here. He ventured the hall with a smile on his face, remembering his life and all the wonder it had been growing up. It came to a stop at an image of him and Lukas sitting on the pitch after losing the Confederations Cup. There were two hallways after that image. One went to the left. The other to the right. Which one was he going to take? Where did they go?

He opted for the right. He slowly descended into the mist in the path. He was sated with pictures of him and Lukas in love and happy. The wall that had once been there dissolved, allowing him to see the parallel walkway that had been blocked. That side had images of Lukas and a young blonde girl and eventually himself and a beautiful model looking blonde. They seemed happy enough. Lukas had a son. They won the World Cup. Relationships ended and they found love together. He found a room at the end of the hallway. He slowly opened it and found himself at the start of the other hallway. As he ventured down it, another world opened up around him. He and Lukas were together, openly, right from the 2006 World Cup in Germany and it was vivid. Like in the other world, there were images of hatred, bigotry, protests, death threats... Among other things. But they were together. There were no pretty blondes. No children. Germany still won the World Cup, but it all seemed different somehow. It felt emptier. He came to another door. This one was yellow and black - reminding him of Dortmund.

He opened it slowly. When he did - his world around him exploded. He called out for Lukas as panic surged through him.

Bastian shot up in bed, gasping heavily. Lukas was still fast asleep beside him peacefully with a tender smile on his face. Bastian glanced towards the window, gazing out into the dark sky over Munich. What did these dreams mean? It wasn't the first one he's had - in fact, they had been occurring a lot. Was this one of those moments in life where he was going to have to make a choice that could change his life forever? Maybe. But there was something about the first hallway that he journeyed down that just seemed... Lived? Like what he was seeing wasn't really the future, but reviewing memories. It was all impossible really. It was only 2005, then I was no way for him to know what happens to him a week from now let alone nine years. Still it made him wonder.

Were these images set in stone? Or could they be changed as well? He didn't know, but he needed answers.

What the hell was going on with him recently?

\----

Training went by as it always does. Lukas and him got a chance to spend some time together and goof around. Bastian still found himself in a permanent state of confusion, but he took the distraction for what it was worth. It was a bit of time where he didn't have to try to figure things out and he was grateful.

Back home, though, Lukas knew something was bothering Bastian. He hadn't been acting like himself. It worried him quite a bit. It had been almost two months since he joined Bayern München and moved it and in that time, Bastian had become incredibly distant. He would frequently arrive home from the pitch and live in some other world until bed. Or get drunk, then come sleep it off. It was like Lukas just existed in his world, but wasn't really there. He figured it would pass but it hadn’t and it was likely that it wasn't going too.

Lukas got home from the pitch before Bastian did. He brought it upon himself to arrange up a romantic picnic dinner on their balcony. He was getting to do what he needed to get Bastian to return to the fun loving guy he'd constantly been.

When Bastian came home, he stood in the door and searched his surroundings. He observed the subtle glowing from the balcony. He softly set his training bag down and ventured towards the balcony. He found Lukas against the railing, looking out into the city with the picnic set up beside him. Bastian's heart melted and he suddenly felt like a complete dick. Realization of his behaviour hit him. He had been neglecting his relationship over dreams. He had been an idiot lately.

"Oh Luki..." Bastian whispered, taken back by Lukas' actions.

Lukas spun around and beamed at his boyfriend. He walked over to him and threw his arms around him. Bastian returned the hug without hesitation.

"I am sorry," Bastian whispered, his voice barely registering.

Lukas kissed Bastian's neck, cheek, then lips ever so gently and smiled at him. "Don't be. You've been distracted and I understand that. I just wanted to do something to help you if I could. It's nothing..."

"It's everything," Bastian said with a grin leading Lukas over to the blanket. "Thank you."

The two men settled down in their seats and started organizing their food. Lukas had ordered food from a local restaurant that Bastian loved. All of his favorite foods surrounded him. Everything from pretzels to sausages. Bastian knew just how lucky he was to have Lukas.

 

"Want to talk about what's been going on?" Lukas asked passing Bastian a beer while he opted for a can of coke. "You don't have too but..."

"Dreams," Bastian replied softly and he felt sheepish. Saying it out loud made it feel that much more ridiculous. "It's like my psyche is living in this parallel universe."

Lukas tilted his head to the side and looked at Bastian curiously. "Parallel universe?"

Bastian sighed and played with a piece of pretzel for a moment before looking up at Lukas with pleading eyes. "I have these dreams lately and it's either I'm walking down two hallways and I'm being showed two very different lives that have the same major events but a lot is different. Like marriage and kids different. Or, like lately it's living those memories in the other world that I saw in the dreams. But it doesn't feel like a dream. It feels like real memories. Like I've lived it."

Lukas pondered this a moment. It explained why Bastian would be so out of whack. Anyone would be. He shrugged and decided that perhaps he could best handle this with humor.

"Maybe you're in a coma in that other world and your subconscious is seeing what the world would have been like had different choices had been made," Lukas said simply. "Maybe this world isn't real. Perhaps this is the dream world."

Bastian just _stared_ at him. He couldn't possibly be serious. If it wasn't for the smirk on Lukas' face, he would have believed it was a serious comment. Bastian laughed and pushed his boyfriend playfully.

"Smart ass," Bastian stuffed a piece of sausage in Lukas' face and stuck his tongue out. "Here I hear you like these."

Lukas rolled his eyes and chomped on the food like a child, knowing it annoyed Bastian when people ate loudly and their mouths open.

"You're such a child," Bastian laughed, throwing a piece of pretzel at Lukas.

Lukas threw it back, pinning it off his forehead. "Says the man using food as a weapon."

"Shut up," Bastian took a long swig of his beer and smiled. "Thank you for this.

Lukas grinned l, "You're welcome babe. You needed it by the sounds of it. I wouldn't worry about it. It's likely nothing."

Bastian shrugged, "Maybe. I just can't help but think it means something."

"Tell me about this parallel universe," Lukas asked, genuinely curious about it all. "What was this wild talk about marriage and kids?"

Bastian motioned towards Lukas, "You. You were married to a woman you knew from school named Monika and the two of you had a son named Louis. You were playing for Arsenal... If you could call it that. You kept the bench warm."

Lukas looked at him, completely baffled. "Monika?! She's not even straight. Everyone knows that."

 

Bastian laughed harder than he probably should have, "She actually ended up leaving you for my girlfriend, Sarah."

Lukas burst out laughing and threw off his head, "Your parallel universe is severely messed up. Although I wouldn't mind the child part. Everything else is just..."

"Insane?" Bastian finished for him, nodding. "I know."

"Did we end up together at least?"

"We did," he responded. "After out women left us for each other. We won the World Cup."

Lukas' eyes bugged out and he jumped up cheering. "When?!"

Bastian shook his head, "I don't know. I don't know the years or anything. It's just dreams. Besides, I thought you said, it doesn't mean anything."

Lukas rolled his eyes, throwing another piece of pretzel at Bastian. "Buzz kill. It doesn't mean anything but you could have let me enjoy that for just a nanosecond. Ass."

"You love me," Bastian winked at Lukas then blushed. "Some of the dreams have been very vivid. I can't tell you how many times I've woken up and had to have a very cold shower."

This really caught Lukas' attention. He raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Oh really? Why is that?"

"Because in them I've got you pinned to our bed," Bastian's voice dropped to that irresistible tone that drove Lukas mad, "fucking you stupid."

Lukas gulped nervously. He was suddenly very aroused. The very thought of it was enough to drive him up the wall. They had been together quite a while now and had kept things exclusively above the waist. He would have expected them to be fucking each other on a daily basis, but with Bastian's distractions lately it had been none existent. Lukas suddenly became determined to change that. He stood up and without a word he lifted his shirt over his head and flung it at Bastian with a smirk. He began walking towards the door of the apartment and started undoing the belt on his jeans. He turned around and looked at Bastian with a come hither look as he slipped the belt off his jeans and dropped it on the floor. Bastian was speechless. He couldn't take it anymore. He stood and made quick work of his shirt before grabbing Lukas and pushed their bodies together - roughly with a growl escaping his chest. Their eyes locked and seconds later their lips crashed together, immediately fighting for dominance.

Lukas broke the kiss and motioned for Bastian to follow him into their bedroom. There was a large clap of thunder, startling the two young players. They both groaned and quickly headed outside to make sure their picnic mess made it in. With the final piece thrown in the balcony door, the sky opened up and covered the pair. They stood there for a moment or two just allowing themselves to be devoured by the rain. Bastian opened his eyes and glanced over at Lukas, who was standing with his arms open to the side. The jeans were sitting low on his waist - dangerously low and he was dripping wet. Bastian felt himself get incredibly hard at the sight of Lukas. He was done with all this waiting.

He pulled Lukas towards him and kissed him tenderly. This didn't feel like one of those moments to be primal. That would come.

 

They somehow made their way into the bedroom and the lights went out. Bastian made quick work of lighting a few candles around the room so they could see despite the lack of power. Once finished, he noticed Lukas laying on the bed with his hands behind his head. His eyes were closed and a smirk on his face. He looked so peaceful, so content, but oh so sexy.

Bastian climbed onto the bed and immediately covered Lukas with his body and attacked his neck. Lukas moaned in surprise, biting his lip as his boyfriend ran his tongue down his chest and stomach. Once at the edge of his pants Bastian tugged them down ever so slightly so they sat just above the pelvis line and ran his tongue across it. Lukas squirmed and pouted. Bastian was teasing him.

Bastian climbed back up Lukas and captured his lips in his own while his hand worked at undoing Lukas' jeans. He tugged them down a little more, taking the boxers with them, and grabbed a hold of Lukas in his hand. Lukas gripped Bastian's shoulders roughly and moaned, nipping at his bottom lip. Bastian began moving his hand at a steady pace as he worked his way down Lukas' body. Once at Lukas' most tender spot, he took Lukas completely into his mouth with no hesitation. The younger man practically screamed out in ecstasy. Bastian knew what he was doing and he did it amazingly well. This surprised Lukas a bit. But then again, he knew Basti was a natural at many things. This wouldn't be any different.

Time started to crawl as Lukas lost himself in a state of desire he never imagined possible. He was crawling nearer to losing it, but he couldn't fathom it ending. Bastian took advantage of the situation and quickly sucked on a few of his fingers. With Lukas getting closer he wanted to do this. Now more than ever.

He slowly began to rub the area around Lukas entrance, prepping it for what was to come. He felt Lukas twitch more in his mouth and slowly slid a finger into Lukas.

"Oh fuck," Lukas gasped out. "Fuck, Basti."

Bastian released Lukas from his mouth and looked at him with concern. "Are you ok? Did I hurt you? Want me to stop?"

Lukas shook his head quickly, "if you stop I'll kill you."

Bastian smirked and took Lukas in his mouth as he slipped a second finger into Lukas and slowly finger fucked him. Lukas lost a grip on reality; he was lost in a sea of sheer ecstasy and never wanted to be found again. He was convinced nothing could ever feel as amazing as he when he came in Bastian’s mouth while having his ass toyed with.

He was wrong.

Bastian reached over into the drawer beside the bed and pulled out the lubricant he bought recently just in case it was needed and lathered it on himself as Lukas watched with anticipation. Bastian lined the tip with Lukas' entrance and locked eyes with him. Lukas knew after this there was no turning back. He bit his lip and nodded. Bastian took a deep breath and ever so slowly put his tip into his boyfriend.

 

Lukas' eyes shot open in surprise and pain. He knew it was going to hurt. Especially considering how well-endowed Bastian was. But he didn't quite imagine how bad. Bastian froze, not daring to move a muscle.

Lukas took a deep breath and nodded at his boyfriend, giving him the okay to continue. Bastian put his hands on Lukas' knees and eased himself in slowly. Once completely submerged in his love, he waited for a moment or two, allowing him to stretch out properly. Bastian was amazed how incredible it all felt. The heat of his lover felt amazing wrapped around him. Lukas was in pain - he couldn't deny that, but at the same time he felt as though he was on cloud nine. His senses were in overdrive, his endorphins were sending his mind into a state he couldn't quite explain.

But it fucking hurt.

Lukas couldn't bare the stillness of it all anymore. He propped himself onto his elbows and grabbed the back of Bastian's neck, forcing his lips down onto his and nipped at his lip. Bastian smirked into the kiss and began moving. Slowly at first, but increased his speed as he felt Lukas become more comfortable with it.

Lukas fell onto his back, taking Bastian with him. Bastian ran his hand down Lukas' side and propped his leg around his waist as he began to move at a quicker pace. He caught his lover’s lips and slowed down to an antagonizing speed. Like this - he was as close to Lukas as humanly possible. It was like a drug to him. He clawed for more, refusing to let go of it.

Lukas' hands roamed Bastian's body freely. Wanting to feel every inch of him. Wanting to bring him even closer than he already was. Having Bastian surrounding him was intoxicating. But he knew his lover was holding back. Lukas knew Bastian was a wild, skillful beast on the pitch and like a fine wine would age into even more of one. But he also knew that Bastian was very much like that in his personal life as well. He was a Leo and had absolute primal desires with a need for dominance. While he wouldn't always give it freely to his lover - this time he would.

Lukas nuzzled Bastian's neck, then trailed his tongue across it. He bit his lip and smirked - knowing damn well what he was about to do to his lover. He lightly sucked on his neck, then bit down - hard.

The sound that came out of Bastian both terrified and aroused Lukas. It was a truly guttural growl. Bastian quickly pulled out of Lukas and flipped him over onto his belly. Lukas didn't hesitate and put himself on all fours. Bastian leaned over Lukas and with one hand, he covered himself with more lubricant and with the other, he gripped Lukas' shoulder. He slid into Lukas once again, using his torso to hold him. A moment passed, then another.

Bastian leaned over Lukas's body and nipped at his shoulder, then at his ear and with a growl, he whispered, "You know what that does to me Lukas."

Lukas groaned with anticipation. His knees became weak and his insides turned to butter as he remembered the talk they had one night about turn-ons. Bastian mentioned that his ex Dani would bite his neck and it would send him into a hard fucking machine. He was about to get his world rocked and he knew it.

 

Without warning, Bastian gripped Lukas' shoulders and started to pound into him. Lukas was not capable to hold back his moans anymore. If their neighbors were home and in the room next to them than they were being treated to quite the vocal show.

"God, fuck, Basti..." Lukas groaned, a wave of pleasure and pain surging through him.

"Mmmm..." Bastian groaned out, gripping onto Lukas' hips, digging his fingers into them. "Scream my name Lukas. Scream my name and remembers whose you are."

"Fuck, Basti!" Lukas called out as he began to lose grip on his knees. He didn't know how much longer he could support himself.

The pain was there, but it wasn't the cause. It was the sheer intensity of it all. It was absolutely mind boggling. Bastian sensed this and slowed his pace enough to pull Lukas off his hands so his back was against his chest. Lukas leaned his arm back and wrapped it around Bastian's neck as best he could to help the slightly older man support him. Despite being forced to proceed at a slower pace, Bastian took full advantage of the position by nipping at Lukas' shoulder, collarbone, neck and ear. Their moans and groans melded into one. Lukas never felt closer to anyone or anything than he did in that moment.

The passion was making them both dizzy. Bastian thrusted himself completely into Lukas and guided them down onto the bed. Once Lukas was on his stomach with Bastian over him, Bastian wrapped his leg around the side of Lukas' torso and fell over to his side, taking Lukas with him. They were now spooning. The beast within Bastian had been sedated for now. He was going to take this time to make Lukas feel utterly cherished.

Bastian continued to move at a slow, steady sensual pace. Using his hands to feel every inch of his lover that he could. He placed gentle kisses over the light nip marks he left behind before. Guilt momentarily overtook him. What if he hurt Lukas? How could he live with that? He pushed that thought away, though.

Bastian ran his nose along Lukas neck and once at his ear he pulled on it lightly.

"I love you," Bastian whispered into Lukas’ neck with a light moan.

"I love you too," Lukas whispered through moans, "God, I love you."

Bastian smirked and grabbed Lukas' dick in his hand. He was close to his own orgasm, and was determined to hear the beautiful sound of release come from his lover’s lips again.

"I'm not God," Bastian said in a deep voice that was not only incredibly sexy, but displayed his arrogance in all its glory. "I'm just... damn... good..."

If Lukas hadn't been completely delirious with lust he would have rolled his eyes. They were both close to release. In a spiral mix of euphoria and moans, Bastian met his release followed closely by his lover.

Bastian gently pulled out of Lukas and collapsed - he was absolutely spent. He knew, however, that this wasn't a time for him to rest quite yet. His lover took care of him in the purest form, now it was time for him to do the same. Especially considering they had a game the following night. He quickly kissed Lukas gently, then slipped away to the washroom. Lukas laid on the bed with his face buried into a pillow. He didn't want to move.

 

Bastian quickly relieved himself then turned his attention to the bath, a conversation with Micha etched into his mind about the best course of action after their first time. Though he recognized that if Lukas’ game suffered because of it and Michael found out his head would be put on a platter. They had both been warned not to do anything for at least 24 hours before a game - 48 the first few times, especially for big games like this. He couldn't suppress the smile, though. How could he? He was as intimate with Lukas as you could be with someone. There was no greater feeling.

He started the bath and filled it with some of his boyfriend’s favourite bubble bath. It smelt rugged which one of the things Bastian loved about Lukas is. He was as manly as he was tender. Even if he was a big kid a lot of the time.

The power still hasn't come back on so he lit a few more candles and placed them around the bathroom. He always thought that doing these things for a man would be weird but it really wasn't. It simply felt so natural with Lukas.

He wrapped up in the bathroom and returned to their bedroom. He slipped on a pair of sweats and walked over to the bed. He slid on it beside Lukas and nuzzled his face before putting a tender kiss.

"Luki baby," he whispered softly, "I ran you a bath. Come soak in it for a bit."

Lukas' head perked up at the sound of that. He loved his baths. They had always been part of his pre and post-game activities. Helped him relax and distress more than anything. He was sore - all over. He knew a bath would help a great deal.

"Sounds amazing," he murmured into the pillow. "Stay with me?"

Bastian grinned sheepishly, "Of course. Want me to carry you there too?"

Lukas shook his head and laughed, "No. I'm sore. Not broken. I can walk just fine, thanks."

 

Bastian rolled his eyes and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Lukas to get up. Lukas did so, slowly and stretched out his body. He was sore but it was nothing like he would have predicted. He felt normal for the most part. The only difference was that he felt like he had just played a marathon match. That would subside easily. He only hoped his game didn't suffer because of it.

The pair walked into the bathroom and Lukas practically dove into the water. The water on his body felt incredibly relaxing. He glanced up at Bastian - _his_ Bastian and smiled from ear to ear. He really was loved and it felt amazing. He scooted forward in the bath and motioned to Bastian to join him.

"Are you sure, babe?" Bastian asked hesitantly, not wanting to invade on his relaxation.

Lukas just looked at him like he was being stupid causing Bastian to laugh and slip off his sweat pants. Lukas admired his lover’s body in the dim light. He had the makings of a German God, he was sure of it. Bastian was all his and nothing was going to ever change that.

Bastian slipped into the bath behind him and immediately pulled his boyfriend against him. Bastian leaned back and let Lukas rest against him. The two laid there in a peaceful silence, just enjoying each other's company.

"How am I ever going to contain the love I have for you on the pitch?" Bastian asked softly, kissing the top of Lukas' head. "It's football. I know at some point or another you will get tackled and..."

"You're over protective," Lukas finished with a smile. "I know. You are already there. I can handle my own, though. Don't get needless cards protecting me."

Bastian shrugged. "We'll see. How are you feeling?"

Lukas smiled and pushed himself deeper into Bastian’s body. "Perfect. I couldn't be happier."

Bastian grinned, "Neither could I. I love you. So very much."

"I love you more," Lukas replied with a grin.

This short game had become something dear to them.

Bastian sighed, "If you say so."

 

_\----_

_Another chapter done. I had a lot of help from a dear friend of mine who let me steal a page from his relationship with his boyfriend so thank you for that. You know who you are._

_Things are really starting to form now. I'm excited for what's coming. I hope you guys enjoyed it. This chapter was one of my favorites to write :)_

_Up next on my writing list:_

_An update to Marry You_

_Or another one shot I had requested by an anon on Tumblr._

_We'll see._


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